The BB cafe

[Kazzl]

The BB cafe is open for business!
Welcome all to a new chill and chat place for everyone on the forum.

The BB cafe is whatever you want it to be. There are comfy sofas, tables and chairs, coffee machines, a kitchen stocked with everything. There's a pool outside, a bbq area, an annexe with comfy beds for a quiet sleep, tv, dvd, books and whatever else you would like to have here.

Most of all, it's a place to meet friends and fellow travellers for a bit of company. Talk over problems, tell jokes, share your day, escape into a world of your making. Grab a coffee and pull up a chair ... 

So, with a nod to the wonderful Carole King (Hard Rock Cafe) ...

Now if you're feeling just a little bit lonely
Don't sit at home just mopin'
Come on down to where the friendship flows freely
You know the door is always open

At the BB cafe
Come to the BB cafe
They will help keep your blues at bay
At the BB cafe

Important Message from ModSupport: 
The main intention of the BB Cafe is to encourage light conversation. Please look after your fellow community members by nuturing the BB Cafe as a place to escape some of the more pressing issues in life and save those conversations for personal threads. 

[Guest_5218]

Thanks Ken. And no, it isnt a rant at all. I appreciate your insight into the art of mindfullness. Maybe I too will manage to grasp it one day .............

Off to bed now.

Sherie xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi cmf,

I am very glad you are going to make your own choice regarding the phone.

His opinion is his and he can't force that on you. You are entitled to your thoughts and your opinions and it's your money so make the decision you think is best. If it did turn out to be a mistake then what is the harm? It is your mistake, not his. You own your own life. He sounds very controlling and that can be a form of abuse. I know you are fearful of his reaction but my suggestion would be to laugh it off and say oh well, it's my decision, if it is a mistake so be it, it's all good. Again, good on you. We should surround ourselves with people who build us up and help us to excel at being individuals, not tearing us down. It is ok to differ on opinions with people and accept each others beliefs as just that, their beliefs.

The more you stand up for yourself, the more control you take back and the more you build up your confidence, self esteem and resilience.

I have been helping a friend in real life through a situation where her ex (cheating) hubby had controlled everything. I am having to teach her how to do everything like getting insurance for her car. He had said to her, let's see how long you last on your own, you can't do anything. She is thriving and happy and building up her self esteem. He was shocked that she didn't take him back.

You go girl!

We deserve to be with people that build us up.

Big hugs for you xx

Carol

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Ken,

Thank you for sharing your story about mindfulness, that was helpful. Cheers.

[Solosombra]

Just stopping in before I head back to work to say hi to everyone! Hope all are well??

[CMF]

Good morning all,

just a quick 'hello' and wishing everyone a good day. I will try and pop in later to catch up on things.

Thanks Sherie and Carol for your words of wisdom. I agree totally and am trying to put your suggestions into practise. Beautiful, wise women you are x.

As always, hope everyone is doing ok.

cmf xxx

[Guest_5218]

Good morning Carol, Kiamau and CMF. Together with anybody else who is entering the Cafe this fine Friday morning. Well .... its fine and sunny here today anyway, if a little cool.

Kiamau - I hope you get by okay at work today, despite a lack of sleep. Thinking of you.

CMF - Hello to you also, and I hope you have a better day today. Trust your own judgement, he has no hold over you any more. It really doesnt matter what he thinks. Carol is right, your ex's behavior shows all the signs of a very controlling personality. You dont need that. (-:

I have a busy day today getting ready for overnight guests. But I will try to get back to you later and catch up on any news then. Have a good day everyone.

Sherie xx

[Moonstruck]

Hello everyone...

hope the visit with overnight guests goes well Sherie.....I'm not very good with that....worry and fuss that my place is "good enough",what they will think etc....

Solosombra....we havent talked much..you seem a very nice person..hope we get to know each other...and Ken - thanks for mentioning Mindfulness....yes I'm into that...when I can...at least I try. Meditating even for 15 minutes is apparently beneficial and it's about my limit....I put on calming music, but my favourite is one of Indian songs, chants - it's what I usually choose. You can also achieve Mindfulness just by walking along the road, concentrating on your feet and how one foot simply goes after the other......one foot,next foot, one foot, next foot......

Have had a strange sort of day.....driving in peak hour...heard that ghastly sound of a "flat tyre"...where to pull over? somebody help me....but would you believe I just happened to be giving a lift to a big strong macho guy...sitting right beside me...oh yeah!! how's that for timing? Calmly directed me to Tyre Place just up the road...took charge....new tyre....all done!! Bless his shining armour and "blokeness"......Also got Facebook msg from son who just flew out to an foreign (but very opulent) land...arrived safely...all seems OK......oh the relief!!!

I have another appt with therapist lady on Monday....had my first last Monday...are they usually that close together?........I'll see you all again over the weekend no doubt.....may catch up with Kiamau,CMF, Lost Girl,and haven't spoken to Kaz for a while. BlondGuy has probably gone surfin' and Kanga searching for a hiding place...Sir Gruffudd no doubt is riding his faithful chooks into battle once again!.....Take care all....try to keep smiling......luv u........

[CMF]

Afternoon all

Good luck Sherie with the guests. I'm much like Moon, don't really like overnight guests. I like my private and quiet time in the evenings.

Yes, he is controlling. if I had taken some of his advice in the past go knows where id be now. some of his info was incorrect even though he said oh just do this and just do that. if looked into it further and made enquiries and lo and behold he was misinformed! big decisions re my house too. I would have been up the creek without a paddle but of course it wouldn't have been his fault.

I am happier when I just go ahead and make my own decisions, a free spirit. I like to follow my gut instincts (shame I didn't when I was with him) and unlike him I am quite happy to take responsibility for my own actions. I can easily say "oh well,not the end of the world" unlike him who takes so long to make a decision (months, years) and then when the opportunity is lost cries that nothing works out for him and of course its not his fault.

I find it crazy now when we are out and looking for parking. if someone get a parkingspot ahead of us they are a ______ (fill in the blank) for taking HIS spot haha. Such a sense of entitlement. one day, when I amprepared for an argument, I will challenge this as ask why they are a ______? Afterall, they are looking for parking,just like him. what are they meant to do, drive past it and leave it for him? How would they even know that? This of course will start a tirade of putdowns toward me with a "listen here" attitude...

Yes, I think I will get the phone I want. my sons arrived today so ill have a play with it and make my final decision. I wont even tell him actually,no need to. my life is MY life. he doesn't tell me anything he is doing I only now things cos I overhear phone calls etc and i'll tell him this too. that is he is not entitled to control my life and why does it bother him so much that I make my own decisions based on what I want,not what he thinks. afterall, he doesn't consult me on hisdecisions. I'm a nobody when he makes decisions. he organised a new phone, told me to get something 'how muchlike his yet wont even tell me wht it is costing him. I asked outright "how Much" he just kept telling me what he is getting in the plan. secrets, secrets and to think he wanted to be a "family" . hmm don't know how that would work?

Hehehe another rant but I'm in good spirits, finding it funny at the moment.

Thanks for listening.

cmf

[Guest_5218]

Hi Moon and CMF. And anyone else here also.

Yes I must admit I am a bit like both of you - I dont normally like house guests. I find it an invasion of my private space and privacy. But this is a lovely couple whom I am quite looking forward to seeing. And I dont much care about what they think, whether its good enough for them. Its good enough for us and thats what counts. They have been here before just passing through, so they know it isnt too fancy. And they are very down to earth, ordinary people anyway.

Thats true CMF, today your rant seemed to be said in much lighter spirits. I'm pleased.

Kiamau - if you happen to get into the Cafe today, I hope you're doing okay. We have all come to care about you a great deal. Let us know how you are when you are able to.

Not sure I will get much chance to be back for the rest of the day, with visitors due to arrive soon. So maybe this will be it for me for the day.

Sherie xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi cmf,

Very happy to hear you working it all through. Well done you!

Sherie, enjoy your guests, I look forward to hearing all about it afterwards.

Hi Moon,

My first few were close then they moved out longer. I am glad you had a saviour with you to help with the flat. I used to be able to change a tyre but I doubt my body would participate nicely at the moment.

Skye, if you are reading, hello there. It has been some time. I hope all is well.

Early night for me, night all