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Something I have written I want to share

Filee
Community Member
You don't see my hurt, It hides behind a smile!, 
you don't feel my fear, it's hidden by  a joke I tell,! 
you don't see my tears, because I choak  them back and swallow them! 
You don't see me cry, because I cry in the shower and no one can hear!
My heart races but you can't feel it! 
My palms they  sweat but you don't feel it! 
My body gets hot but you wouldn't know as it's cold as ice outside!
I feel sick, I continue to smile 🙂
Do you really know what I feel ? 
Probably not because I'm good at hiding the pain hurt anxiety I feel! 
I don't want to feel this way, so I push through each day, hoping those feelings will one day fade away!!!!

6 Replies 6

Struggler
Community Member
Hi Filee

An exquisite poem and I really love it.  Thank you.

struggler

Jo3
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Filee

Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem, I really love it too!!!

Jo

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Filee, firstly thanks for joining us with this beautiful poem, and every line is just so true.

I was trying to find the line that most impressed me but I can't because every single expression it says is no different than the next.

The trials and tribulations of depression and it's only us who know what it actually means to be confronted with this debilitating illness. Geoff.

Filee
Community Member

Thank you 

Filee
Community Member

hi Geoff,

I believe that no one understand how you truly feel, I thought my adult children understood until my oldest (28) told her sister(25) she felt like she was baby sitting me (that comment hurt so much), then she commented that she was sick and tired of me that im not the person i use to be, in part she is right, but believe me i never asked for this and wouldnt wish depression or anxiety on anyone, Sometimes it feels easier to just try to cover my feelings up, if they (my family) dont understand who will? Sometimes I cant even work out why i feel sad, angry upset scared or anxious, i dont have the answers to those questions i wonder if this is a normal part of what im dealing with I do know If I write my feeling down it helps me

Swangirl
Community Member

Thank you for the poem.I have just registered on the forums and what you said sounds like me. It is always hard to put into words how we feel. You did it beautifully.