Feeling Lonley and could use people to talk to

[startingnew]

Hi, its been a while since ive been here but im feeling very isoated and alone. i struggle to make and keep friends in the offline world. i could use people to just talk to. i could go a few days without really talking to anyone unless its a work related question. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Starts,

You can talk away here sweetheart…as you know that even though we can’t physically see anyone on here…great friendships can be formed…

I don’t really have many r/l friends…..the days I work (3) are the only time I talk to anyone in r/l….the other 4 days I just stay at home, doing nothing really, even sighting people around my area on those 4 days is a no go…You’re not alone sweetheart and you can talk here anytime you like about whatever you feel like talking about…

We are all here for you❤️, with our care and support..

Hugs sweet butterfly🦋..

Grandy….

[Fiatlux]

Hi

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a very quiet reserved person and never really the outgoing type. I think even growing up that I was always untrusting of others. I was fearful of a lot of things and situations. All of this fear stem’s from early childhood trauma. 

During my life a had 1 close friend at school with whom I had an understanding as we both came from rather dysfunctional families. My other best friend outside of school was a guy about 1 year older than me. He was fun and we enjoyed doing the same things. Sadly my friendship with these 2 people drifted away once I was married. I rarely saw them afterwards.

I honestly can’t say that I have made friends with anyone thereafter. I was at different stages of my life close to my sisters. 1 older and 1 younger. I missed that sisterly closeness as sadly they also drifted out of my life.

Sometimes online friendships don’t work in the real world.

I don’t know anything about you so why don’t you reintroduce yourself here.

Kindest regards, Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[sbella02]

Hey startingnew,

Welcome back to the forums, we're glad to see you again.

As much as this is an online medium, I hope that our presence here can offer some reassurance, as we're always here to listen. Places like Reddit and Discord can also be really good for finding friendships online with people who may have similar interests or life experiences. 

Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could perhaps use to find connections in real life? Any sports you'd like to try, or organisations you'd be interested in volunteering at? Even if you have the capacity to take on a course in something that you like. I recently did an acting course, for instance. If you'd be comfortable trying out some of these activities, these can also be great ways of meeting people.

We're here to chat, if you'd be happy to talk more with us. :))

Take care, SB

[startingnew]

thank you Grandy i honestly dont speak to anyone except clients when i have them or those that need something from me and usually its brief. i have someone that i go walking with usually close to every day and shes good tobe around but i also get so tired being around people when im already unwell. its so hard, i want friends but sometimes my energy also doesnt allow it 

[startingnew]

Hi Fiatlux

I am a young person i first come here a few years ago after i had experienced sexual abuse but am learning to move forward.  i work in the caring industry as a carer at home and a support worker in the community but because of my various illnesses its hard for me to work to much. 

i am also a really quiet and reserved person but i also have attachment and abandonment issues thanks to borderline personality disorder. i also suffer from anxiety, c-ptsd, depression, as well as POTS CRPS Trigeminal neuralgia and a neurogenic bladder (basically makes me incontinent now despite being under 30) 

i have a couple of pets but one sadly passed away a few days ago due to her age so being home for me is tough currently as i owned her for the last 16 years 

[startingnew]

Hello SB 

i like to do arts crafts, crochet, walking, horse riding. a massive part of my life was horses but since being injured and aquiring some medical conditions it makes riding hard now and its become a rareity rather then several times a day like i use to. 

i tried attending a youth group but i didnt make any friends and i felt like i couldnt fit in. i grew up fast so many of the things typical young people were experiencing i wasnt interested in or couldnt relate to. i also tried a craft group but the group closed down and was mostly elderly that didnt really want to speak to me or anything much. 

i use to volunteer on reachout as a peer mentor but i unfortunately not long aged out so no longer have access to that and have been on another forums for carers as well 

i use to attend a disability group but i found i was getting more depressed because no one really worked on themselves so it was all just everyone ranting and it got to much for me to listen to everyone just ranting and not wanting to help themselves. 

[sbella02]

Startingnew,

It's nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry to hear about your accident as well. I can see how not being able to do horseriding may have taken a bit of a toll on your mental health.

It sounds like you may benefit from a program where everyone else is also motivated to find new connections and achieve similar goals. If you like arts and crafts, crocheting, and walking, you could even try having a search for courses or clubs that would appeal to you in these areas. Even if there are any forums for horse lovers or people who enjoy horseriding, these may also be useful, if you can find some in your area.

Would this be something you'd be willing to try at all? I understand that it can be daunting if you're on the reserved side or if your anxiety persists when you're around people, but you may surprise yourself if you'd feel comfortable giving it a go.

SB

[Croix]

Dear @startingnew ~

It's good to hear from you after so long, alll hte people you asked about are still on hte forum so you may well be able ot catch up. Flagging them with the @ symbol is a good way of starting.

I remeber you going right back to 2017 or so, though you have of course posted since. My memory is a little hazy but I do remember you amassed an amazing number of posts and were always helping others in their threads.

Back then I think you mentioned you suffered PTSD, something we have in common, and have in your posts above given more detail - life has certainly given you a hard row to hoe.

You had been studying and passed a medical related course, my apologies I don't remember exactly waht it was 🙂 but passing shows tenacity and overcoming the many difficulties you face.

May I ask if you are still a carer and community support worker? With your experiences I think you would be invaluable.

I see you have still a butterfly logo, even though it has been slightly changed over the years, something very appropriate as it is the Beyond Blue symbol too.

I would look forward to it if you felt like bringing us up to date with what your life is like now and what's happened over the intervening years.

Croix

[startingnew]

@Croix  you have a far better memory than i thats for sure, its really thoughtful of you to remember those details about me 

yes i have C-PTSD, major depressive disorder, BPD and suffer from psychosis. i did pass that medical course which was great and had continued my studies as well. i just finished a diploma in mental health and community services. 

i do still Support work and social services though im not a carer anymore for family as they are now n a nursing home. i was homeless for quite some time after that which contributed to me not being here but i was finally able to secure my very own first rental. it took me a little while to set myself up so slept on an air matress and used paper utensils etc for a while but im all set up now and more independent. 

i do enjoy my work as as social and community worker though and have been able to enhance my skills even more through the courses ive completed plus more work experience opportunities as well. the most challanging one but the one i enjoyed the most was actually the hospital services! 

unortunatley due to a new medical diagnosis i may need to retire in the coming years despite still being young as with this new physical disorder i may loose vision, and ability to drive a car as well as becoming more dependent on others for support wit daily living skills. 

i have applied to NDIS so im hoping my supports can be funded soon rather then me having to pay privately. it was be so valueable to me to have proper and consistent supports 

thank you very much about your kind words about previous postings, i hope to be able to support others again now that i have access to my phone and laptop and internet properly again. 

butterflies are oneof my favourites, i find they represent hope and resilience 

its really lovley to hear from you 

how are you? what is your latest news if you dont mind sharing?