Dear Moon~
The death of someone one loves does change a person, but I'm not sure that is why you fell different, perhaps even flat, at the moment.
If it was me I'd still be suffering grief. It might now come out in subtle ways, such as absence of joie de vivre, but it will be there. It may also make you want to avoid some situations, music, places ... as they can bring the greif to the front.
The change I'm talking about allows you to return to your previous state but with extras, such as insight and perspective. You get your humor, energy, spark back without the permanent change of the things you are talking about.
I felt the effects of greif where it changed everything for long time, but not that long before life started to pick up more and more . Could not look at my first wife's photos for about a year at all. Now I can enjoy them.
Cut yourself some slack Moon, if you had been in hospital with a serious operation you would be kind to yourself and wait for the healing to finish before expecting to resume your old self - same thing here.
As for your bowling venues, I doubt they are any more than the challenges you have always faced. Similarly to your position in the team during the event.
You know it is hard to think up bowling similes.
Hang on Moon, you are getting there OK
Croix (who has just realized he has inadvertently used a song ;artist and title, and not even one he likes 😞
