Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

[Sophie_M]

We recognise that many of us here in the community are feeling scared, worried and overwhelmed about Coronavirus (COVID19). 

As a result, we created this thread to allow people to come together here during those difficult times and encouraged those wanting to share or seek support to do so here in this space. 
 
It was important with this thread that we maintained perspective and supported each other as best as we could, medical, scientific and public health experts around the world have and still are working hard to contain the virus and treat those affected. 
 
The Beyond Blue Support Service is available via phone 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat. 
 
There are some other helpful discussions taking place here within our forum community that you may find helpful to read or participate in: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/hi-there-i-only-just-joined-and... 

This thread is now closed for further posting. Users are still able to read through and find support through already existing posts.  

[Feeler]

I hope everyone on here is doing well

I was doing all right but coming across two news items on Facebook has just caused me an emotional backslide. I won't say what the pieces of news were because neither changes the current situation of anyone on here but they got me down. I'am just so tired of things getting worse than previously thought. I feel better then I come across this cruel development I did not have to know. Sorry for the lack of actual advice but I'am just tired of feeling like the Virus has no limits.

How do I accept -whether I'am distracted or not- that COVID-19 isn't going to go away for good right now. I can enjoy things but almost anything about the Pandemic brings me crashing down emotionally.

How do I come to terms with it? Accepting powerlessness doesn't work for me when it comes to such an uncertain thing. I can recognise the causes for hope but I'am too worried about them being premature.

How do I deal with my inability to wave a magic wand?

[Elizabeth CP]

I agree with you Randomx. The restrictions are horrible & the effects will be terrible but looking at what is happening elsewhere (I have children living in the UK & a sister in the US) I am EXTREMELY grateful that our government listened to medical experts and put in restrictions early. Hopefully we can keep our country cut off from the rest of the world until a vaccine is invented and will be able to lift the restrictions within our country.

I keep reminding myself that these restrictions are saving us from a much longer more difficult situation.

I came out of isolation a week ago and found it strange with everyone stepping away from each other as if we were infected. This felt very unfriendly & goes against our normal social norms. Today I decided to change my approach. We can be friendly and polite to each other with a few minor adaptations. Imagine our bodies include an invisible ball around us. We walk so we avoid bumping each others ball just as we would normally avoid bumping others. We can still smile and give a friendly greeting 'Hello' or similar. This helps me feel part of a friendly caring community rather than feeling rejected. If you inadvertently bump into someones 'ball' eg walking around the corner in the shopping centre a simple sorry and/or thank you as you each move to make room for each other.

By making a special effort to treat each other with friendliness, respect & courtesy while maintaining physical distancing we will help each of us feel less isolated & connected to the community trying to fight this pandemic.

[PamelaR]

Hi Feeler (and everyone else)

Thank you for your post. I must say just before I read your post, I too read what is happening and it left me feeling vulnerable. So I understand how you are feeling.

What can we do now to manage the thoughts that are rushing through our heads, the things we cannot control. I really don't know how to remain positive, but as I sit here writing this post my mind turns to what I need to do next.

Acknowledge what is happening is real, is going to increase in severity (as they tell us the crisis point is not yet reached here in Australia)

Accept it is happening and accept the things we can do to individually remain safe. I.e. - do as the authorities are telling us, don't go out unless you have too for essential items. If you are in the at risk category - seek assistance to have your groceries, pharmaceuticals and other essentials delivered. Each state has a help page on their government site to give you an idea about who to call or to send a message online.

Let go of that which you have no control. For me this is allowing myself to cry and to grieve for - the loss of life; those brave people putting their own lives at risk each day; those who have lost loved ones. This process takes some time and doesn't hit me all at once. But when it does I let it be, acknowledge and accept it for what it is. Grief.

Reduce the fear. That's a hard one for me - I'm in the at risk group (over 65, asthmatic, overweight) however to date I still venture out to do weekly shopping. I need to otherwise I'll go nuts. I take precautions. Made my own hand sanitiser that I obsessively use when I'm out. To help me reduce that fear I've returned to the forums to help others. It diverts my thinking about the what ifs for myself, helps me to become a little more positive.

Sorry if I'm repeating what others have said before, but I needed to vent after reading this morning's article. (Ugh - I usually avoid doing that, but I thought, just a quick peek at the headlines. Then the one you are probably referring to caught my eye so had to read it.....blah.)

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hi Elizabeth CP

Thank you so much for your wonderful input. You are so right about being friendly, courteous and respectful to others when you are out. It saddens me when the person at the checkout tells me about how awful people are. My neighbour works at one of the major grocery stores and she says it's terrible, it's bringing out the worst in people. Having said that, from my visits to the stores I have not seen any bad behaviours. People I smile to, smile back and we both turn our heads to the side in a knowing, understanding acknowledgement. So I have faith in people.

It's extra specially nice when you have posted your wonderful ideas for helping yourself and others to not feel rejected in our current situation. Thanks again Elizabeth!!

Kind regards

PamelaR

[meforcats]

Hanna3 Sam would probably like to have a playmate. What sort of dog is he?

Yesterday I saw a movie on my Tablet about Van Gogh. It was animated and I really enjoyed it.

Today I picked up a script from the Drs receptionist. I said it was nice to say hello to someone face to face.

[CX]

Hi, I'm a mum trying to work from home while looking after my three children aged 5, 7 and 9. I am finding the longer this goes on, the harder it is to cope. I try and start each day with a routine and also make a bit of time for everyone to exercise, but I'm finding that after a while everything just disintegrates. It is impossible to work and manage them at the same time - they end up fighting with each other and I have to try and separate them which is difficult when we are forced to stay at home. My partner is out at work (self employed) and is very little help even though I have asked him and told him how hard it is. My work has been understanding to a point but I don't think they genuinely get how difficult it is. I feel like I am heading for a breakdown. Any advice appreciated.

[PamelaR]

Hi MeforCats and Hanna3 - thank you guys for making this a good space for people to come by sharing your thoughts, activities and ideas. Well done!! By the way - I have 2 cats that keep me extremely busy, especially now we home all the time. They really turn up the meows to get outside.... (They are indoor cats).

Hi CX and warm welcome to our forums. So great you've found your way here. I do feel for you - working from home, 3 children under 10 - wow. You are awesome to be carrying all that. Maybe it's time to take a breather for yourself. Sit and relax after the children have gone to bed - take time out for yourself. (You can see I've never had kids). I would imagine they are picking up on everything that's happening, so they must also be stressed - hence the disintegration.

I noted last night there is an online thing about finding teddy bears online. Is this something you could get them interested in? Or would there be fights over who gets the computer/iphone/ipad etc? Don't know where you live, but is it feasible to get them doing things outdoors? There is this thing about drawing rainbows on driveways etc. Is this something you can get them interested in?

About work - is it feasible to allocate quality time to spend with the kids, then time for your work after they've gone to bed and you've had a rest? Bugger the house work for the moment.

I'd get online to see what other parents are doing to manage their children and their work during these hard times. People are being very innovative out there.

In the meantime, I understand how you feel like your heading for a breakdown. You have to also deal with your own feelings, thoughts and emotions. That's tough, especially when you try to stay positive for your kids. Are you able to stay in contact with friends or family through social media or the phone? More to the point are they a help or a hindrance?

Try to get some quality sleep if you can, but I expect this is difficult for you at present. There is a thread here about sleep. You do a search using the search tool above.

Hope some of this helps CX.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

CX I too want to welcome you to the forum.

It is hard enough organising 3 children at home nevertheless to do your own work as well.

Can you get help from their school to organise lessons and a routine. ?

I know a friend in a similar position who dresses her children in school uniform and makes sure they are sitting at a table. They follow lessons then have recess and lunch breaks like at school.

Do they have a tablet or ipad they can share. ABC is doing websites full of ideas for lessons etc.

Pamela has suggested many helpful suggestions.

Looking after yourself is important. Is there something that your children like doing even now that can be used as a reward if they can stay on their work and not fight?

You may want to start your own thread so people in your situation can help and exchange ides of what works.

Bluesmoke, thanks for your list of things that work for you.

[meforcats]

CX welcome.

Today I saw on tv a woman called Supernanny who helps with parenting. It's jofrost.com. I hope she can help you.

All the very best to you.

[meforcats]

PamelaR I've only had one cat at a time. My place is small. One day I'd love a Ragdoll that flops when you pick it up. 😺