Worrying/Stress

[Tim1982]

Hi everyone. First time user here.

The last few years I've been doing really good with controlling my anxiety until about a month ago both my ears blocked up a few days after wearing airpods.

At first I didn't think anything of it and used waxsol and it helped. My left ear became unblocked and my right ear was getting better until I decided to get a cotton tip to clean it, to only what felt like I pushed wax back in my ear and developed an instant ringing in my ear and numbness.

Two days later, my chest kept getting tight, my legs and left arm felt achy, numbness in my face and head and my eyes seemed funny.

This is when I decided to go to the emergency. They checked the nerves in my mouth, eyes and ears, all was fine. My right ear I had a lot of wax and she couldn't see my ear drum.

Saw the GP, he softly syringed my ear and told me I had a small scratch and pimple in my ear. He told me it could be tinnitus and everything I'm experiencing is normal and to just try and relax.

But my thoughts kept thinking the worse. Even though sometimes throughout the day, I felt like everything had gone back to normal, it would revert back when I start thinking about it.

I Stupidity googled my symptoms and one of the possible outcomes was a brain tumour. This put me in instant panic attack and I'm constantly thinking this is what I have.

So... I saw another doctor a week later and I told her I googled and these were the results. She tried comforting me, by telling me that a brain tumour would be very unlikely and that if I wanted a catscan I could to give me some relief. I decided not too because I want to try and control my worrying and trust the doctors. She looked in my ears, still have wax in my left ear and she said I had fluid behind my right ear drum which would cause the ringing and numbness feeling. After that I felt a lot of relief. She said it could take up to 8 weeks for the fluid to go.

She believes it is stress and anxiety that is causing all my other conditions and has put me on anti depressants and putting me on a mental health plan.

20 minutes after seeing the doctor, I developed a tingling like sensation on my feet, the bottom half of my legs and left arm started to ache and I felt like the other ear is doing the same as my right... This went on all day, although I had moments I felt normal.

I'm just in constant worry and I can't switch off thinking the worst.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tim1982, 

Welcome to the forums! Thank you for your post to the forums today and for sharing what's been going on with us. Health related panic and anxiety is incredibly challenging to manage, and it sounds like you are doing lots of things to help support yourself on your journey to feeling better.

It’s good to hear you are speaking to your GP about these symptoms, we think it’s always worth keeping your GP updated with anxiety, stress and physical symptoms. Please know that the Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you as well, and you can call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime if you feel like talking it through. The counsellors are really good at talking through things like this so it can be a really good call to make when you're feeling really high anxiety, stress or panic.

We’re sure we’ll hear from our lovely community here soon, but in the meantime here’s some resources and conversations on managing anxiety you might find interesting:

• Some strategies for managing anxiety

• This previous thread where community members shared some of their Beyond Blue’s anxiety management strategies
   

Thanks again for posting here. It must have taken a lot of strength to share this but you never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experience.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tim1982..

I would also like to welcome you to the forums..

I don’t struggle with health anxiety, but I think that all anxiety is the same but effects us differently due to the type of anxiety we have..

It was so good to read that your Dr has started you on a mental health care plan..

In your post, you said that you everything seemed to go back to normal until you started thinking about it again....Do you remember what you were doing when you felt normal.,,,I ask you this, because it seems that whatever you were doing did distract your health anxiety thoughts for a while....This is one of the best ways I think to help you manage your health anxiety..,that is by way of distracting those worrying thoughts off your body and into something that holds your interest....

So many people do consult Dr Google and then find all sorts of diagnosis’s on their....this is really not a good idea to do...because they are not qualified to give you a diagnosis...Your Dr. seems very understanding and caring and hope that through your mental health care plan that things will improve for you...

I do have heart disease since very young and when I found out a few years ago that it is slowly getting worse..I panicked and ...yep straight to Dr Google... all the sights I was checking had only a bad outcome......Then my next appointment with my Cardiologist, I really spoke to him about my fears about my future...my Cardiologist listened to me then I started listening to him and trusting him....We found out the correct course of treatment and meds..I have promised myself that I would only reach out to professional people, face to face from now on...so that I can ask direct questions and get a direct face to face reply....No more Dr Google for me ever...

I really do hope that you can slowly start to put your trust into your professionals and have faith that they want only the best for you...

Kind thoughts, Dear Tim...

Grandy..

[Tim1982]

Hi Grandy,

Thank you for your reply.

I saw my GP again today. Twice this week. She has told me again it's not a brain tumour and to try and distract myself to get it out of my head.

She said the symptoms I'm describing to her is all Anxiety and stress. The truth is, I would never of thought this if I didn't Google.

This has all started due to a ringing in my ear and a sensation in my head... but sometimes I feel normal and then I focus on a specific spot (like that part of my head) and it seems like it has come back.

The doctor said again if she had any concern it was something serious... She would do the appropriate tests. She has asked me to trust her.

There is fluid behind my ear that she said would cause the ringing and some numbness around my face and head. She said it's all connected. ... But I swear there are times I feel like it's all gone and I feel normal.

She said anxiety can make you believe you have symptoms.

It's just scary. I have this fear if I stop thinking about it, something horrible is going to happen to me.

The normal feelings come back from time to time... Once when I went for walk, another time I was putting furniture together and even when I've just visited the doctors it seems to go but it comes back very quickly but I am aware that I'm thinking about it or focusing on it all.

I'm just terrified it could be a tumour and the worse will happen but Ive seen 4 doctors now and all have said I need to relax and distract myself. I think I have to try and trust the doctors know what they're saying.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tim...

I can so much resonate to focusing on a specific spot...If I focus on my heart...I can feel the extra beat, the quickness of the beats and even if I concentrate enough I can hear the murmur I have in it....

The thing is...I don’t want to be always aware of these things...I know they are their, they are being looked after by a professional and I trust him...

By you, me or anyone focusing on parts of our body we will find something that is not right...then we start worrying about it...and by worrying about it, it just makes things feel worse and it does take away from us a lot of our precious time, because we will just sit and “listen” to our body...instead of enjoying our life the best we can...worrying takes so much out us...makes us tired, deflated, depressed, anxious and absolutely kills the moment.....

Today and yesterday I mowed my lawns and did some outside work...no thoughts of pain, or quick heartbeats even entered into my thoughts while I was mowing...If you can...and I know it’s incredibly hard to do....once you start focusing on a particular part of your body....try to do something straight away to distract your thoughts...My favourite of distracting myself is to sit outside and focus on the birds, the beautiful songs they sing, drinking from the bird bath I have for them.....

Do you have something that you like to do...something that uses most of your concentration....that you can re focus your thoughts on...

Your Dr. definitely would investigate further if they needed to...Please try hard to believe in your Dr.....They wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise their profession....Try hard to relax, maybe some deep breathing...some meditation...Their are some great apps available ..My Dr recommend...Virtual Hope Box....it’s a really good app...I hope that you might give it a try...It helps me when I’m in need of distraction....

We are here for you lovely Tim with our care and support ....you are not alone...My kindest thoughts and wishes for you with my care..

Grandy..

[Tim1982]

Thank you Grady,

I really do appreciate your response.

After seeing the doctor today, I have felt some relief. I have to remain logical and think about what is happening to me.

LIke the ringing in my ear. It didn't occur until after I put a cotton tip in my ear. Before that, my ear was getting better.

Reading your posts and everyone else's, it has put me at ease and from time to time I feel like the numbness and weird sensation I have in my head seemed to vanish and I don't hear the ringing in my ear but as soon as I started focusing on it, it comes back but the doctor tells me it is normal.

I think what also concerns me is that when it happens or feels like it is always there, I don't feel like I'm having a anxiety or stress moment.

But yes, I have to trust the doctors. There is just always this what if.

I've been reading all the post on here to keep me calm or distract me.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tim,

We have so many helpful thread in the forums...that might be able to help you in giving you some ideas how to help manage your health anxiety....

Reading about others struggling with health anxiety might give you some ideas you might like to try...you can even join in the conversation if you feel up to it...

We are here for you...I hope other members will pop in from time to time to chat with you...We are all here for you dear Tim...to help support you through this hard patch your going through....

Talk here anytime..

Kind thoughts..

Grandy..

[Tim1982]

Hey Grandy,

Thanks again for your reply. I saw the doctor again this morning. 3 times in a row. I've never been this bad before.

she keeps telling me it's not a tumour, or anything to worry about. That I'm not showing the signs of anything other than anxiety and depression.

I keep repeating the same things and getting the same responses. Like having this numb feeling on one side of my head, like it feels heavier than my other side. Feels like it never goes away and then sometimes, rarely it seems to go and then I think is really gone or am I imagining it. It's quite a scary feeling. I get tight in the face, I feel like my jaw and nose area tighten up and sometimes my eyes feel weird and see black spots. She said it's all signs of anxiety.

This has all only happened after I had blocked ears a few weeks ago and developed a ringing sound in my ear. She said I had fluid behind my ear drum.

the doctor isn't concerned at all about it being serious but I keep thinking the worse.

I asked her if it was a tumour, she said the symptoms wouldn't happen all that quickly. She said I'm thinking/focusing too much on it. I tell her I even feel it when I don't think I'm thinking or very anxious or stressed but yesterday for about 10mins or so, I felt that my head was back to normal but felt a cold spot on me head... again she said it is all Anxiety and that I need to start taking my medication.

I dont know. I just feel like they have it wrong and the worse is going to happen to me or if I let it go and follow the advice, then it won't improve still which will even cause me more worry.