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BeyondBlue Hi! Check out this post if you're not sure how to start
  • replies: 0

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are... View more

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are really interested in what you might want to add to these conversations. We get it, having anxiety makes it hard to share in a public place. Remember, this is anonymous and the Beyond Blue team are here to help if you need it This section is for people who are experiencing anxiety in some form in their lives. This might be in social settings, at work, or just in the day to day. You don’t need a diagnosis to post here. If it feels like the right spot for your post, go right ahead! We know that feeling anxious can make it hard to reach out so we want you to know that getting this far is amazing and a great start. A few tips for getting the most out of this section: Get involved when you can! Posting and replying is the heartbeat of this community and you DO have something worthwhile to share (when you’re ready ) Every experience is different. There is no competition here. We know how challenging anxiety can be and how it comes in all shapes and sizes. What you are experiencing will be respected and supported here. Trust yourself! You are the expert in your experience. This community works because people like you share what has worked for you. Thank you for getting involved and taking a look. We can’t wait to hear from you! Beyond Blue

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jonjr short story " to disappear"
  • replies: 3

I would like to share some of my stories about my struggle. I wright them during real moments as a snap shot, I have to edit them into stories as often they can be just a jumble of words or nonsense sentences i scribble down at a point in a journey. ... View more

I would like to share some of my stories about my struggle. I wright them during real moments as a snap shot, I have to edit them into stories as often they can be just a jumble of words or nonsense sentences i scribble down at a point in a journey. i hope you like them To disappear Its 3 o'clock I am up and sleep is not on my mind, theirs nothing to do theirs no one to talk to. I make some tea to try and distract myself for the feeling of collapse that my mind is in. No where to go ,no doors I can open, I feel trapped. The nurses stare from the glass station pretending to be occupied by work but I feel the glancing looks from behind the screens. No where to hide I am in constant line of sight.. I begin to feel the wrath of my own mind as the speed of my thoughts quickens, repeating the same messages over and over. The feeling of something coming, the inevitable sense that I am not about to be me. Confusion, pain , in this moment I am not sure where I am. It takes a while for the surroundings to become some what normal and familiar. I am not where I was, theirs no cup of tea. The nurse is beside me calling my name , I hear her and try to focus on the voice. You disappeared for a while she says, the reality of what happened hits home. The evil triplet the strangest of the three Mr dissociative has had a play. The other two siblings anxiety and panic are still there, like they been freed from there estranged partner in crime they continue the offensive. I remember nothing from beginning to the end its like I had simply vanished Its not a new thing to me nor is it surprising but it is terrifying and totally un welcome. Over the years I have learned It can not drive, it does not know left from right, stairs seem troublesome. I still wonder what it is like though, do I talk , can I run or jump, so many things without answers. I stand up and make my way back to my tea ,its gone cold. 4 o'clock that is 1 hour I have lost for ever, it has simply disappeared.

Fiatlux Easter Anxiety
  • replies: 4

I know many of you will understand the anxiety of holidays and family gatherings. I have absolutely hated them. My abusive husband would give me a stern warning even before we got in the car to go anywhere that I had better be good or else… Strangely... View more

I know many of you will understand the anxiety of holidays and family gatherings. I have absolutely hated them. My abusive husband would give me a stern warning even before we got in the car to go anywhere that I had better be good or else… Strangely he remembers family gatherings as fun. Even my children remember him menacing me in the car as they got older. He would make all celebrations about him. Christmas we tried a small family gathering, just 4 of us and this he had to ruin by telling awful untrue stories of me from 25 years ago. I spent the next few days crying. I want to see my sons if for no other reason than to give them an Easter egg, but I have yet to contact them to try to arrange a catch-up. I absolutely hate Easter

Supportrequired Drank and kissed two men
  • replies: 10

Hi All, it's been a rough day some of this is self inflicted. I understand that. Last night a enjoyed a few drinks and ended up missing two different guys. I'm single. I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. I'm panicking it will get to m... View more

Hi All, it's been a rough day some of this is self inflicted. I understand that. Last night a enjoyed a few drinks and ended up missing two different guys. I'm single. I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. I'm panicking it will get to my workplace and everyone will be talking about it. I'm scared and just about to go into an emotional breakdown over it. I know the act itself wasn't bad as they are single too. But it's more the social scrutiny that's really working me up. Help!

Kimczar Family estrangement
  • replies: 3

My son my 26 year old has disowned me again . This is the third time . He has chosen this time to disown his brother my oldest my youngest his other brother . I’m so sad .

My son my 26 year old has disowned me again . This is the third time . He has chosen this time to disown his brother my oldest my youngest his other brother . I’m so sad .

GingerMegs SLOWLY LOSING MYSELF
  • replies: 6

I am beyond my breaking point and my nerves and anxiety and depression can't take it anymore, my partner doesn't understand me she always has high expectations of how the house should be cleaned I clean it up as much as I can within the time I can be... View more

I am beyond my breaking point and my nerves and anxiety and depression can't take it anymore, my partner doesn't understand me she always has high expectations of how the house should be cleaned I clean it up as much as I can within the time I can before going to bed and mind you I feed our kids clean them put them to bed she doesn't understand my mental health problem I have taken her to all my appointments yet she tells me oh you arnt on the lease your never clean you don't put things where there ment to go you don't do anything in this house she has always been like this 6 years of hell I'm only staying for my boy, my 2 step kids never listen to me, she always has high expectations of what should be done and if it gets late and it's not done she gets angry like what have you been doing all that crap yet I'm trying to get as much do as I can when I have to go to work the next day, it's very hard and emotional and physical mentally.

Shemila Hardest day of my life
  • replies: 5

Today has been such a struggle, the last time I felt even close to how bad I feel today was 4 years ago. I live at home in my parents but I just took a job interstate. I drove here over 3 days with my dad and today was the day he went home. I have ne... View more

Today has been such a struggle, the last time I felt even close to how bad I feel today was 4 years ago. I live at home in my parents but I just took a job interstate. I drove here over 3 days with my dad and today was the day he went home. I have never been alone before and had my worst panic attack ever where my fingers went numb and my legs were shaking. I spoke to my managers and they said they would write up a support plan for me but at this point I just want to go home. If I do leave though I know I'll regret not trying it out and I'll hate myself. Nothing can be worse to how I'm feeling now. At this point I'm going to start my training tomorrow and see how It goes, I just dont want to quit before giving myself a chance to settle in. I don't know what to do but right now I feel absolutely awful

DaisyDills202 I have been too I mean I'm way to tired...
  • replies: 6

I am going through things that I don't get Being with this certain person can get so exhausting And I don't want to be with anyone else cept those meant to be Everytime she gets near I get anxiety...or troubling... Sometimes I don't really get her or... View more

I am going through things that I don't get Being with this certain person can get so exhausting And I don't want to be with anyone else cept those meant to be Everytime she gets near I get anxiety...or troubling... Sometimes I don't really get her or what she wants...I just want to be with people who are uplifting and fuun Nothing serious. I am too tired for anything else... some parts of me want to be left alone without that person haggling too much energy on something i don''t understand... can someone get rid of these blues for me? make me feel better? some parts i don't understand what shes going through or what she thinks too etired...

Annadolcia Panick attach & blocus in throat
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, i am so glad I found this forum 3 month ago I got separated with my partner as he couldn’t stay with me in Europe anymore due to his visa. It was the first time we got separated and I got very depressed. I have always been very anxious. ... View more

Hi everyone, i am so glad I found this forum 3 month ago I got separated with my partner as he couldn’t stay with me in Europe anymore due to his visa. It was the first time we got separated and I got very depressed. I have always been very anxious. 2 weeks later I had my first panic attack and ended up at the hospital. I was very scared since then I have this constant feeling of something stuck in my throat.. as well as a very dry throat and couch. i made the mistake looking online and now all I can think of is throat cancer. Now I am back with my husband and this feeling doesn’t go away. I went to the GP who thinks I might have acid reflux as well as a thrush. I am taking antibiotics and reflux treatment. He also think that the more I am anxious about cancer, the more my body create acidity and tighten my throat the feeling doesn't go away. I can quite eat normally even though sometime it feels like it takes effort to go down. And now I don’t eat much because I am scared it would get stuck has anyone ever had that feeling of tightness and lump in throat ? i am really scared and the more I think about it the more I am convinced I have throat cancer. i am a 33 female. much love

jonjr a short story "in the dark"
  • replies: 4

I would like to share some of my stories about my struggle. I wright them during real moments as a snap shot, I have to edit them into stories as often they can be just a jumble of words or nonsense sentences i scribble down at a point in a journey. ... View more

I would like to share some of my stories about my struggle. I wright them during real moments as a snap shot, I have to edit them into stories as often they can be just a jumble of words or nonsense sentences i scribble down at a point in a journey. i hope you like them In the dark Why do I write these short stories, these clips of my life. I guess its to show or even to snap shot the very real pain and struggle that I suffer. I write them in all of the zones of my journey in all of the moments from the fearful times to even the darkest lows. The fear is where I start , oh that familiar feeling , the grip it takes like a throttling motion like a hold on my every exhale that brings dread and fear along for the ride. Strap in I say to my self as the waves crash through me, be strong you can control this feeling it can not get you, yet it does, the grip gets tighter the feeling of fear takes hold it becomes all to real as real as the ground I stand on. The point of no return where the panic and the anxiety have made it to the very edge, the edge where every thing assembles ready to cascade down in a free-fall. The time of talking myself down has gone, the time to find a safe and familiar place is here. Curled up in a tight bundle and tensing my shoulders and body the drop happens. Dread and fear, empathy and love all come at once, theirs no rules to the game theirs no winners ceremony at the end. For me and for now this is life for how ever long it takes to hit the bottom . I don't want to move I don't want to make it worse but I know I need to get help, I know I have to make that call. The journey to hospital feels like it takes for ever then the questions that I can almost re-sight word for word as they are asked. A kind voice in the dark, reassuring me that i am safe, Unsure and terrified I lay down, In the dark all alone In a unwanted but familiar place I can feel the meds hold me as my thoughts turn to sleep.

Rac_ Anxiety so much a part of my life everyday.
  • replies: 2

Hi all I have had generalised anxiety disorder since I was 17; in the last 4 months after some tough life stressors of losing family members, moving house and quitting my job- I was diagnosed with depression. I am 31, with a wonderful fiancé who has ... View more

Hi all I have had generalised anxiety disorder since I was 17; in the last 4 months after some tough life stressors of losing family members, moving house and quitting my job- I was diagnosed with depression. I am 31, with a wonderful fiancé who has been in my life for well over 7 years; we have great friends and family and so many positive things in the coming future to look forward to. However, I seem to be only fixated on negativity and hating myself, regardless of anything anyone says. I can’t seem to think rationally and thoughts I have are so intrusive and overwhelming day to day. I have counselling every week, am on medication and had my first psychology appointment this week; I can have moments where I feel balanced/ but I can’t sustain these for long periods of time, then the negative self talk and misery comes back again. (Please no judgement- I’m aware how daft this sounds) but even though I’m engaged, due to be married, building a house and trying for pregnancy- in my head, my brain ruminates that my partner was happier before me and I torture myself with ‘mental movies’ of him enjoying happy times with them, being intimate, etc etc. i guess this seems to have become a vicious obsessive struggle, my partner has been so supportive and reassuring but I can never believe what he says. Can anyone relate? I miss the feelings of self worth and confidence that I used to have, though they have never been super strong in my life. have a wonderful day

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