worry wart

[happy_one]

Hi,
im completely new to this but I would love some advice on how to cope with social anxiety. My partner cops it the most and I’m sick of doing that it’s putting a huge strain on our relationship. It happens when he goes away and then I go out with some of his friends girlfriends and I try to get along with them but it feels like they aren’t interested in me or I’m putting more effort in and not getting much in return and I get really anxious about this as I feel it’s getting worse and it makes me not want to go out. I want to stop burdening this on my partner and find some coping mechanisms when he isn’t around to help me get through it. I also get very anxious when he’s away or out I don’t know why, i worry all the time about things. It’s not healthy. I want to be a mum one day and i don’t want this to be part of my life. It sounds very petty but it’s real and a real feeling.

[blondguy]

Hi happy_one!

Welcome to the forums and good on you for reaching out for a chat

What you have posted is not petty at all....Your input is just as valued as mine or anyone elses on the forums. You mentioned 'it feels like they aren’t interested in me or I’m putting more effort in and not getting much in return and I get really anxious about this'

This is a very common place to be in when we dont feel like we are 'part of the crowd' or feel like we are not 'accepted'...Can I ask how long your partner is away for...when he is away?

I dont understand how you are being a burden to your partner....Do you mean that you dont like his friends and that they dont appreciate you?

Of course its a real feeling...The forums are a non judgemental and safe place for you to post happy_one 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[happy_one]

Thank you Paul for your reply, I feel a burden in a way I’m constantly complaining about my feelings and thoughts while he is trying to have fun and i feel horrible that I may cause him to not have fun as he worry’s about me.

for example he went away this weekend for a bucks so 2 nights it’s pretty embarrassing that I couldn’t let my anxiety go for just 2 days.

no his friends are wonderful I struggle to fit in with the other girlfriends as they’ve already all formed some sort of friendship and I feel left out a lot.

i just need to learn to put my phone down really.

thank you for your support.

[blondguy]

Hi Happy_One

Excuse I for not seeing your reply....I am usually quick at getting back!

You are never a burden...The forums are designed to provide you with the best possible support we can through our own personal experience..You mentioned "I couldn’t let my anxiety go for just 2 days"...Just as per my experience if thats okay! As a person that suffers from anxiety we cant 'let our anxiety go'....Anxiety is the same as physical injury.....It does take time to heal from these awful symptoms...Its not your fault

Good point about putting the phone down....That actually works well!

any questions are always welcome....I used to have chronic anxiety for over 30 years and hopefully can help 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul