Worried

[Rainshaddow]

Hi , new to this , don't know what to expect , suffer from anxiety and depression and C-PTSD , live alone out in rural Aus and just wanted to talk , some form of contact ,

[Rainshaddow]

Hi kitty , thanks for replying to me , I was nervous about replying to your thread too , so hello to you too 👋 yes I'm in rural wa , and yes I see wildlife around , kangaroos outside the house , rabbits , plenty of birds , magpies and kookaburras , I have seen possums around aswell at nite , my day was a bit low , anxiety has a hold of me , I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression 3 ish years ago , and cptsd about 2 yrs ago ,

[Rainshaddow]

Hi Grandy, thanks for replying to me , sorry to hear you have some of the same issues I struggle with , it's no fun eh , no I don't have pets , I don't think I could cope with looking after a pet , my accomodation is shaky and I'm not working ATM so worried I could end up homeless , it terrifies me

[Rainshaddow]

Yep big bang is good , unused to laugh all the time , was told I had a great sense of humour in the past , I don't laugh anymore and some people I know have commented on it , can't laugh if I don't feel it anymore

[Rainshaddow]

My anxiety manifests as the squirt of adrenaline in my stomach , fast heart beat and breathing , and I can't stop worrying about a whole raft of issues . How is it with you ?

[Guest9337]

Rainshaddow said: ... can't laugh if I don't feel it anymore

TOTALLY!

I went off comedy shows for about a decade, just didn't want to laugh.

Fortunately and eventually I decided I did indeed need to laugh and so I made comedy a rational act.

What can I find today that makes me laugh out loud?

[Rainshaddow]

I look forward to sleep as I feel it's an escape for me . How are you coping with things , have you found anything that helps you ?

[Rainshaddow]

Yep I hear ya , I have heaps of comedy on DVD , sometimes I do laugh and then feel guilt as if I shouldn't be laughing ,

[Guest9337]

I love the bliss of sleep too, so lovely to warm up my bed, pulling the quilt cover and sinking into the bed.

[Guest9337]

Feeling a little guilty about laughing, hmmm. Yeh, I can understand that.

Sort of like watching someone fall over, laughing, then realising they've hurt themselves.

Like if Jerry Lewis the king of comedy fell over, we would laugh, but he would get up crying and we would feel sad and then he'd smile and we'd be glad he smiled. Weird stuff all in the space of seconds.

[Kitty1991]

My heart races and I am constantly in flight or fight mode - if that makes sense. If something startles me (which is ridiculously easy to do) my fist response is ‘I’m going to die) and I kinda panic in a controlled everyone is watching me way. I don’t know if that makes any sense. And I get quite confused with so many thoughts running around in my head that eventually my bad just shuts off so I am numb, and my mind is finally quiet. Then I cry.