Worried I'm Burdening my friends with my Anxiety and Depression

[yarrow]

Hi you all,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for this amazing online community. Lately I feel like I am close to loosing my friends, or that our friendships are suffering because of my mental health problems. The past year has been enormously hard. I moved from America to Australia, and have moved around Australia living and working 6-7 days a week in many cities here, I broke up with my partner of six years, and had some incredibly challenging health problems, have barely been able to make ends meat, etc. I've leaned on my friends more than usual and keep trying to show up for them but I need their help more than they need mine and I feel awful and burdensome.

I've experienced a lot of childhood and young adult trauma that I have worked on tirelessly for many years, but it seems like the issues keep coming up. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. As my family is responsible for so much of my trauma I do not have a support network outside of my friendships. I feel utterly helpless and frantic/ frazzled all the time. I've easily overwhelmed, and the smallest inconveniences seem monumental to me on top of every other stressor in my life.

I feel ashamed that the SAME issues continue to haunt me and I feel resentful that I've never received the support or care I need. I don't want to ask my friends for emotional labour they can't provide. I fixate on everything I do wrong, I feel like every option before me seems unrelentingly hard, even my dreams seem like they won't yield happiness and I'll constantly fail. In many ways I feel like I was an adult so so young, and now I feel like a baby in an adult's body. I feel wholly incapable of taking care of myself even though I have been for so long. I worry my mental ill health affects people I love and I just want to do right by them.

Thank you for any feedback and for all the support, I am truly grateful.

[dee_d]

i am so sorry you're living with how you're feeling,

but know that it is okay, your feelings are well justified, and please don't feel like you can't talk about them, because you can.

it is all about the way you communicate, just breath, and explain in a way you feel is natural, especially in relations to your friends,

tell them your not doing fine, and that if they have the time, or can provide some emotional support to you,

that you could really benefit from their support.

never be afraid to seek help,

no matter who it's from,

as a wise men once said;

"help will always be given to those at hogwarts, to those whom ask for it"

- Albus Dumbuldore.

take good care my friend.

d.

[Parwana]

I Feel the exact same way. I don't have family support so I rely on my friends that are there. and to them it sounds like Im an ungrateful person who can't stop complaining. they were bought up by healthy families with lots of sibilings and I think they are finding it hard to understand me.

[Sunnybug]

Hi yarrow

thanks for talking to us. Going through a break up and experiencing lots of change (new cities and work) is stressful and likely to cause you to feel like everything is very hard. Have you called the beyond blue hotline to talk through your issues? Headspace also has an on line counselling service (eheadspace) to help you talk thinks through in difficult times. Do you need to work 6 days a week? It sounds like you may need some time out for yourself to improve your heath. Do you sleep and eat well? Have you tried doing regular exercise to get outside? Have you thought about joining a sporting group? I have joined a meetup group which helps you meet others who have the same interests - it is an App. Thinking about positive things can help you to feel better. All the best, Sunnybug.

[CrazyGecko89]

I felt like this not too long ago so the next time I caught up with my friend I just asked them. They weren't bothered by it and preferred that I spoke up rather than keep quiet about it.

[Dreads]

I have the same feelings bout my friends..they are awesome people but they hate seeing me so sad when there's nothing they can do to help..real friends will always b there though