What sort of therapy will I ask for?

[notwonderwoman]

I have been on a rollercoaster ride with depression and anxiety for the past few years, and when I look at it honestly I've had concerns with anxiety and social phobia for most of my life. I have always been one for self medicating, tried all the natural remedies, started drinking a glass or two of wine to help sleep or relax more. Anyway things seem to be coming to a head these past 12 months for me, I am quite well respected in our team, however there are two bullies in my workplace who yell at me in front of my colleagues and I just go to pieces and cannot defend myself, I am going through menopause and empty nesting, I left a job that I was happy in and comfortable in for a promotion and it has been a horrendous experience, now the organisation is trying to force me and three of my colleagues to change to a temporary contract, after we have just bought 3 acres to set up our dream of self sufficiency, I have elderly parents to care for, kids in uni to support, trying to complete my masters now so I can secure a job and compete with the younger set out there. I feel guilty that these things are causing me anxiety, as I have healthy family, strong marriage and people say I can get another job so why does the change bother me.

I have just been diagnosed with GAD and adjustment disorder and have started on medication about three weeks ago, I noticed a change in that I can sleep, and kind of felt more ambivalent and stopped over thinking things, but today had a panic attack after being yelled at by one of the two bullies. I was surprised that this happened but kind of relieved that the medication didn't numb me. The bullies just tell me I am too sensitive. A plus is one is leaving next week because she acknowledged she wasn't up to the job. No way will I share with them my condition, but I have told another two members of my team and they are great support.

Any way, just asking what is the best therapy? It looks like just meds won't cut it, the psychologist I saw from work was very nice and she listened and was supportive and just told me "don't think about work at home" and "make sure you do something nice".

I'm seeing my GP Friday who has offered to put me on a mental health plan, I feel I need some therapy to go with the meds, as today I feel those horrible thoughts and feelings coming back at me. Tonight I just feel like I want a few glasses of wine or something so I just get bombed and can just hide.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi notwonderwoman,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

I'm sorry that you're in this situation but I'm glad that you've reached out and are looking to get a mental health plan.

To answer your question though, there are a lot of different therapies out there but for the most part it's not a one size fits all. I have a psychologist who is trained in various therapies and she utilises them in different sessions without me knowing. You may find the same. Generally people don't ask for a particular therapy but instead explain their situation and the psychologist tries different techniques to see what fits best for you.

Having said all that though, CBT is very popular for GAD which is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy; a therapy with the theory of how our thoughts affect our behaviours and actions. Too often we don't recognise or realise some of those automatic thoughts in our head so CBT is a way of listening to what they are and questioning whether or not they are helpful.

As for adjustment disorder, the therapy can vary a lot. It might be about general counselling (how you're feeling), to trying different relaxation strategies or finding ways where you can feel more in control.

I hope this helps a little! Ultimately it comes down to what you feel most comfortable with and how you will most benefit from the sessions. Even though the therapist will probably choose the therapy, if you're feeling like it's not helping or too cliche, you have every right to talk to them about it and try and re-direct the session, or request a new one.

[JessF]

Hello notwonderwoman, welcome and I hope you might eventually see fit to taking the "not" off your name.

One of the first things that struck me when reading your post is how much you're doing: a full time job where you are respected by your team, setting up a dream home, looking after elderly parents, supporting your children at university and doing a master's degree yourself. Wow! It makes sense to me that you would feel some level of anxiety at keeping all those plates spinning.

Then on top of that you have some very real stresses: your job security under threat, and some workplace bullies who yell at you in front of others. This would set my anxiety off as well.

I think you've come to the right conclusion that therapy as well as medication could be helpful. I see medication as being like a flotation aid, whereas therapy teaches you how to swim. You sound like a very strong and resilient person to me who could do with having that neutral voice that can help you get things in perspective when you're feeling overwhelemed.

Most good therapists will know a range of different types of therapy and will choose the techniques based on what suits you. It might be CBT like Romantic Thief has suggested, or perhaps Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) which is about helping you to absorb overwhelming feelings and thoughts and get a bit of distance from them. I find that being taught a mixture of both helps me in my daily life.

Drinking to cope is a temporary solution, I found it made my anxiety worse over time, so it's good that you are investigating other options so you can save that glass of wine for celebrating success rather than hiding from the world. Hope to hear from you again soon.

[notwonderwoman]

Thank you for your reply reading your kind and wise words has made a huge difference to how I'm feeling, thank you.

Today was crazy. I ended up walking out of a meeting today with the manager and the team. Before I did so I kind of exploded at both of the bullies. They were bringing up something they saw as a fault in my work and kept referring to the issue and after the fourth time, I said (in a wavery shakey voice) 'stop' I corrected them and said "I did inform you of these things, and I had witnesses to the fact and I also asked them to please stop talking to me in the fashion they were, and that this was not the first time you have done this to me. Anyway my feelings are out in the open now, the manager knows of the trouble I've been facing and on the surface seems to be supportive so far. My other colleagues rallied and defended me to the manager too. So I guess it was like lancing a boil today, now we just have to deal with the mess afterwards. I then had to do a presentation to the senior executives about a project I was working on and one of my colleagues came to support me, my voice wasn't too wavery and it wasn't too scary once I started. Home now with cat on my lap, trying not to think about facing them tomorrow.

Thank you so much for your advice, I have never heard of ACT I will google this. I am going to ask for a different Psychologist to see and ask about CBT and ACT.

[notwonderwoman]

Thanks for your advice, sometimes I do feel my psychologist from work was a little cliche or superficial. I will see how my next one fits in with me and my needs.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Just checking in to see how you are going?

For what it is worth, my psychologist uses CBT and mindfulness, which, while is helpful is not a quick fix. But it does work.

On ACT, there is a book called "the happiness trap" which discusses this mehod at length. This was a book my psychologist recommended I read. Because I have anxiety and depression. The guy that wrote this book also has web site and there is also an ACT companion that you can run on your phone. There are notifications you get periodically on your phone, and as annoying as they can be, are actually helpful.

Hope you have a good day,

Tim