what am I feeling?

[kidlaroifan1]

hey, this is my first time using any type of site like this and firstly i wanna thank everyone who provides support on here, you deserve the best this world has to offer.

I've struggled most of my life with things in regards to social activity. I hate ordering food on the phone and would rather not eat than have to order myself.

I used to love playing basketball. I trained every day by myself before and after school, but would never trial for any teams because I was too scared of having to be judged by others, or have to speak to any of them.

I've also always been a big gamer, I currently play an video game where I've been playing hours a day of self analysis, analysis of professionals and so on, i really want to play at a high level. But sometimes I feel like id rather stop playing than have to try out for a team. Id rather let the other candidate have the spot on the team rather than have to be judged by other players or coaches, or have to talk to people in there I dont know. The thought of it makes me feel sick, and my body tenses up when I think about it and I just want to yell.

I'm really outgoing with my friends and girlfriend most of the time, i dont know what im feeling.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi kidlaroifan1,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us. It sounds like you've been struggling with this for a while.

It looks as though your post came through to the anxiety section - is this something that resonates with you or helps to explain how you're feeling?

While anxiety can look different in everyone, a big part of it is fear about the future - whether that's right now, next year, in 5 years or with no specific time. It sounds like with your anxiety, part of it might be fear of how you might feel (being more sick and being more tense) and part of it seems like a fear of judgement or criticism.

While anxiety in general is a totally natural and everyday experience, it sounds like it's really started to take over and make choices for you.

I hope that what I've said resonates with you a little. Please share if it doesn't, and I hope you enjoy being apart of these forums.

rt

p.s. I have used the word anxiety throughout this conversation because that's often the common feeling for these experiences, but it's okay if this doesn't describe how you're feeling too.

[MidnightOil]

Hi kidlaroifan1,

Firstly I want to echo romantic_thi3f's welcome. I'm glad you feel like you can share here.

I'm not sure how much I can offer in terms of technical advice or knowledge except to say that I've had very similar experiences. Sometimes it helps to hear that you're not alone.

Finding words to describe what you're feeling can take some time and trial and error. This can be frustrating, I'll admit, but my advice would be to start small. When I have a lot of trouble identifying my emotions, I start with 'right now'. I might try a few different words to see if any of them work for what I'm feeling. If I can't really find one, I try to think of something that might help me to stop feeling that way 'right now'. This can often help me to see why I might be reacting to something in a certain way. You can try writing things down if you like, just to have an outlet for your thoughts.

Then I can move on to the bigger picture a bit more. What would make me feel better about the whole situation? Or what might help me to feel better in the long run?

I personally refer to this as anxiety in my own case, but as romantic_thi3f said, if you don't think that's right for you then that's totally fine.

I hope that you can find some peace of mind in the forums and feel free to let us know how you're getting on.

All the best