Wasted my life

[michael9318]

I'm 27 and haven't been employed since I was 17. The period between 2011 and 2016 was a complete waste, I was depressed and too anxious to do anything with my life so I just stayed home. Then at the start of 2017 when I was finally going to get everything together my mum died and that knocked me back, then the start of this year was meant to be the year I get it all together, start uni (bachelor of IT), make friends there and all that. Covid hit and my uni was put online but a mixture of anxiety about studying and anxiety over now having it online made me end up skipping term 1. Term 2 starts soon but the anxiety and panic attacks are back again and I don't think I'm mentally capable of studying, so this will be yet another wasted year. I'm 27. Unemployed for almost a decade, basically unemployable at this point. Never got my driver's licence due to not being able to handle the stress of that and now it's even harder. I've missed out on so much in my life because of my anxiety, I've never even had a girlfriend of any kind. I'm stuck living with my grandparents since I can't afford to move out and get on with my life or even at least provide for them. I'm thinking of studying a certificate III in health services assistance in the hopes of being a hospital orderly or something like that now, I'm hoping I could at least be capable of doing something like that. Depending on how studying that goes I might try a diploma or even bachelor degree in nursing. I just know things would be so much easier if I had my mum here to talk to, she was like a friend to me and helped make things clearer for me.

I know I need to get help for both my anxiety and depression but I'm just too scared to turn to anyone for help and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if I put this in the wrong spot, I'm not really in a good spot at the moment and I need to vent.

[blondguy]

Hi michael9318

my condolences on the loss of your mum....2017 is the same as 5 minutes ago...

You are always welcome to vent....and good on you for speaking from the heart....That makes you stronger than you think! It took me weeks to get the courage to post my own thread here.You have excellent communication skills!

I understand your feelings where anxiety is concerned...I used to have anxiety attacks in my 20's and I avoided treatment thinking I could self heal...for 13 years..oops...until my anxiety attacks became worse

Its only my humble opinion from your post that sorting out the anxiety/depression will be a huge benefit to having some peace of mind...You have already made a big step towards healing by posting here..Excellent!

There are many super gentle people on the forums that can be here for you michael9318

Can I ask if you have a GP that you can talk to? Making a double appointment is always a bonus....I remember leaving my doc feeling so much better after talking about my anxiety

what do you think?

my kind thoughts

Paul

[michael9318]

Hey Blondeguy.

>You have excellent communication skills!

My communication skills aren't the best in real life sadly.

>Can I ask if you have a GP that you can talk to?

I do. I think I'll see if I can make an double appointment with my grandma to see her.

Thanks for the reply.

[blondguy]

Hello michael9318

I forgot to mention....you havent wasted your life at all....you are only 27. Our GP's have a better understanding of anxiety nowadays compared to even 10 years ago

What do you actually want to do for a living?

any questions are welcome...the forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post 🙂

we are listening and thankyou for posting back....not that we expect a reply of course

Paul

[feelingblue97]

Hey Michael9318

Man you've good writing skills and by the sound of it you seem like a chill cool dude. It looks like that you want to change and improve, which is always a good first step. My condolenses goes to your beloved mother, I know it could be very hard losing a loved one. I havent lost anyone close yet but I lost my uncle and that was pretty tough and emotional.

Its never too late to get better bro, life isnt a race, life's a journey, you've got so much life in front of you. The past is the past and it should be a reminder of how strong you were handling those long years.

Its good that youre posting on this forum bro, dont let your emotions fog your brain and instead express them, talk with people who you trust and if you dont have anyone, go to your GP or headspace clinic to talk to them.

talking is the best sort of therapy, it lets you analyse what is actually going on in your head, you know, but most of us men are used to bottling all our thoughts up and its no good.

im sort of going through the same thing as you, so youre not alone, if you want to vent or just chat, feel free to contact me

[Guest_1643]

Hey, a lot of people struggle in their 20s but don't talk about it. I can relate to you so much. I'm in my 30s now but 27 was one of the hardest ages for me, stuck not wanting to take big steps but wanting to change.
You have great writing skills and a variety of interests... i'd guess you'd be pretty excellent in a lot of fields. Can you back term 2 with a lesser load of study? It's okay if you don't go back at all, too.
It can be really hard dealing with this all on your own. We're here for you. I personally, have only just read your first post, and I believe in you and care about what happens to you. I hope you can get some support and care.

[Gambit87]

Hi Michael9318

Man, depression and anxiety sucks. I know what you're going through.

I've been in the same dead end job for over 10 years now. I've felt like Ive wasted my life because the last 10 years hasn't really amounted to anything. I used to beat myself up bad over it - but with the help of my psychologist, I've learnt that its not what you do in life, its how you live your life that matters.

2020 was going to be my year too! I was going to go on a long holiday and quit my job (I am kinda thankful that I didnt haha) but then covid hit...

We're still young (I'm 33), we have so much ahead of us!

I encourage you to speak to a GP and get a referral to a psychologist. I was carrying around depression and anxiety for about 15 years without talking to anyone about it until I broke down and actually acknowledged I had a problem. As hard has it is, speak up and having conversations with people and with my psychologist has been one of the most liberating experiences I have ever had.

we're all here do you mate.

[Yvaine]

Michael,

Im so sorry about your mum.

When things stay stagnant for a long time, it's so easy to lose hope. Health services sounds like a great pathway into an industry that needs people that have so much to give.

Volunteering is a great way to gain some experience. Even though it's without pay, it gives you some exposure to the industry you might want to work in in the future.

I can relate to the feeling of wasted years. It's a horrible feeling, but all we can do is clutch onto the smallest joys in each and every day (the sun shining,the birds singing)-might sound basic, but I've tried to learn to see everything as if I'm seeing it for the first time-with child-like wonder and curiosity!

We're all on different journeys but all the highs and the lows just make us so beautifully, wonderfully human 🙂

Be safe and praying things look up for you

[Yvaine]

Also Im so proud of you for realizing that professional help is needed. it's a daunting step to take, but it's a step towards reclaiming your life and your perspective! It can be so helpful!

Keep on shining 🙂

[Loubylouby]

Hi there,

Sounds like you've been through the wringer! Hugs to you - many of them. My daughter is exactly the same as you - 27 and hasn't been employed for ages due to anxiety (I also have anxiety). It's really tough sometimes. I'm pretty new, but I have found the people here to be really super supportive and helpful.

Uni can be tough at the best of times, but especially when it's all online. It's so hard to get motivated and to not worry about everything. I was a uni lecturer for 30 years, so I know that a lot of students feel just like you, and you are not alone. It's hard to get your head around the online learning site, especially. There are usually so many resources there and it's hard to know where to start. Worst case scenario, did you know you can get help from your uni's disability support people? They are usually great with anxiety issues and can help you cope with assessments and extensions and so on.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say hi and hope you are OK 🙂