Wanting to run when things get tough

[Elea]

I start a 2 week placement for uni tomorrow and all I've been thinking about over the past few days is how to get out of doing it. I've seriously been fantasising about how good it would be if I was injured in some way so that I wouldn't be able to go (terrible, I know).

For the past few years I've made it my mission to avoid the things that cause me anxiety- seeing friends, applying for a better job, dating, meeting new people- and I know that it's no way to live because it's caused me to be extremely depressed but it's been comfortable, I guess. And now that I'm at uni again and I've thrown myself out of my comfort zone, I'm dealing with these really anxiety-inducing situations again and my first instinct is always to run. I just want to quit and keep living my easy, but lonely, life. 

Does anyone else get this really strong urge to run away or give up when things get hard? Thanks for reading. Elea x 

[Scotchfinger]

Does anyone else get this really strong urge to run away or give up when things get hard?

Urge? Began as an urge. Now just an established pattern of behaviour for me. Been run, run, running all my life. My advice to a young person is: if at all possible face the things you have to face, square on, eye to eye. Then the times after that will get easier and easier. Courage can become a habit like anything else. Make it one of yours.

[White_Rose]

Hello Elea

What a splendid answer from Scotchfinger. Running away is a habit that goes nowhere. However hard it is to stand and face what is happening, it's much better than avoiding it. I think everyone has done this at some time in their lives and often regretted it. This is what you are doing now, facing regret.

So please, put your shoulders back, take a deep breathe and jump in. You have already started by returning to uni. Great stuff. Why did you return? Whatever the reason, keep it in the forefront of your mind as a way of keeping motivated.

Keep chatting here because we are always keen to know how people get on.

Mary

[Mares73]

Dear Elila

Thankyou for sharing your experience with us on this forum. I personally could relate to so much of what you described. It's as though we are existing rather than living. It's also very common with anxiety to avoid people & situations which then leads to feelings of isolation & loneliness. You have taken a big step forward by admitting how you feel. And I feel so much for you as i know from my experience how much time I've wasted about worrying & avoiding things.

Are you getting any support such as Gp, Pyschiatrist and medication? They are all very important.

Thinking of you & hope you can reply.

Mares

[Scotchfinger]

Even though I suggest facing up to your fears now when you are young, I also recommend finding support. And you have done this by coming on here. So that is great.

I can't be the only one who when young, and faced with a tough challenge, felt totally on my own. At aged 22 I faced my first year of teaching. I was utterly out of touch with what the job required. I needed a mentor, a good mentor who understood me and knew how to help . They might've even suggested I not follow in that career path which could've been beneficial too. My parents didn't see it as their role to give me advice, and due to their lack of education, felt out of their depth, even trying.

Good advice, good mentoring is as precious as a diamond. Because there is plenty of bad advice out there. I know because in my lack of self-belief, listened to it, many a time.

[Guest_1055]

Hello Elea

I was wondering how it all went, with the placement today? Was it a nursing clinical placement you were to go on? Hope you post back to let us know. But please don't feel pressured, only free.

Hugs

Shelley xx

[Elea]

Thank you, all you lovely people who have commented. It is so good to know that I'm not the only one, even though I wish we all didn't have to experience this. 

 Well, I did end up going today, after having a big meltdown last night and crying a lot. I felt so sick this morning but somehow I made myself drive to the hospital and I walked through the doors, and then it was too late to go back. And it wasn't bad at all. I was paired up with really lovely nurse and everything was OK. 

Again, thank you everyone who wrote back to me. You're a big part of the reason I went today. Xxx 

[Guest_1055]

I am so proud of you Elea, you are courageous.

Hugs to you

Shelley xx

[Elea]

Thanks so much Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Elea

It has been a bit since you posted. But I want to thank you because you have helped me not feel so alone. For right at this moment I too have that strong urge to run. Run far away from circumstances in my very own life that I find painful and hard to face. I am feeling this now, for it is tough. 

I know how you feel. Our circumstances our different, but the urges are the same.

I am so grateful for you, and I hope you are continuing to face up to these tough times in your life.

Shelley xx