Trying to please everyone and it backfiring.

[Beaser]

Hi and my best wishes to all.

I was wondering if people have had the experience of saying yes to things or no out of trying to please people and also because its easier than having to explain yourself.  

I had said yes to a camping trip but had reservations and ended up pulling out. 

My friend isnt to happy with me because of it.   Hes been a good mate but i just couldnt handle the pressure and anxiety that had built up . 

 Sometimes i find covering for my anxiety causes me to even lie about what is going on for me ,.

I pride myself on my honesty and hate that this happens.  

Im just wondering about others similar experiences.

Best wishes     Beaser

[Ggrand]

Hi Dear Beaser,

Congratulations on putting yourself first…I hope you know how proud of you I am…because I understand how difficult that would have been for you…I’m so happy for you that your happy to do Saturdays only….

Doesn’t it feel good once that weight has been lifted of our shoulders, so much easier to get on with our life they way we hoped to…..Please enjoy your extra time at the club…you so much deserve it…I hope your well and today brings you some happy times..

Kind thoughts dear Beaser with a happy, well done hug..🤗…

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Beaser

I often say yes and the later say sorry but no. 
my partner was to go to a relatives birthday in another state,  He told me I must make a decision this week even though it is 2 months away. I have physical problems which make travelling hard. I am glad your friend understands re volunteering 

[crystloak]

I've been in this space many times and each time I've ended up physically sick for saying yes then feeling like I can't and I have to pull out. I have lost people out of my life because of it 

I think for me it's always that inner feeling of why why did I say yes but then that little voice that says you have to do the right thing. 

But my anxiety and fear of being in social situations is to great . I know over the years I've now become the person that is always aware of my anxiety  so I don't commit to much.

I hope you find a balance.  

[Beaser]

Thanks for your kind reply Crystaloak.

Im sorry to read that you have been through so much on this topic.

Its hard when as you say we lose people because of it.

We certainly dont mean to do that its so hard at times with what we go through.

Beaser.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Beaser, crystloak,

I can relate to physically feeling sick when saying yes, but not really wanting to…then for me changing my mind was not an option because of that guilt, you both know so well….

One thing I have learnt over the years is, that the people we do loose are not friends, a friend is a person who will take the time to understand us, support us and stay with us…for an example…I worked (volunteered) with the same group of people for over 10 years, we went out at times to lunch, visited each other sometimes, cared for each other when someone wasn’t well…I thought these were good friends, but since I left my volunteer job due to physical illness…not one of them has even rang me to see how I am going….I thought and cared for them but that wasn’t returned…..I guess what I’m trying to say….is if you loose someone due to them not understanding you and your anxiety, they weren’t ment to stay in your life….I know how sad and heartbreaking that can be….I’m sorry it’s been happening to you…

My kindest thoughts,

Grandy..

[Beaser]

Hi and best wishes to everyone.

Ive been feeling a bit of a dip lately

Im a bit worried that im going to lose my mate that i volunteer with as hes been unwell. 

Its just that we get on so well and i honestly feel that i cant feel comfortable doing the role with another person. I know that may seem strange but i dont handle these sort of things too well . Ive spoken to a friend who says i shouldnt let it worry me as its only four hours but i cant look at it like that. 

Its just when things unsettle me everything seems to close in on me with my loneliness and long term depression.

I hope i dont sound selfish in any way. Best wishes for the day.

Beaser