TRIGGER Pattern

[Horse_Crazy]

Hi. I'm new to this but I thought I needed to start somewhere. I have suffered from Anxiety for many years now and have been hospitalised and have taken different medications over this period. I thought I had pretty much gotten to the point where I was in control of my anxiety and knew what to do when an anxiety attack comes along. BUT.... over the past 7 years my husband and I have wanted to move onto property as we have horses and want to live on property and set ourselves up for retirement. On several occasions we have tried to sell our existing property (that I love dearly) and purchase a new one, but as soon as it comes to signing any documents and following through with the process of selling and buying my anxiety hits me like a freight train and I panic and go into a state of fright where I feel like I'm going to die. We then cancel everything and once I feel better and normal again we go through the process again and it happens to me again. I hate my anxiety stopping me from doing what I want to do in my life. I'm really lost and have no idea how to get past this so we can move and enjoy a life together that we have worked so hard for.

[Alexlisa]

Hello Horse Crazy, welcome to the forums ☺️

I can absolutely relate to what you’re saying. I too want to make a big move interstate, to somewhere I can have a better life, but feel trapped by my own anxiety. The thought of just moving to another house in the same suburb is scary enough. So I just keep putting it off, even though I know logically it is what I want. I guess I wish it was all just done already because the thought of change is so overwhelming to me.

It’s great that you’ve been able to see that this is a trigger pattern for you. Even if our anxiety has been under control for a long while, we are still vulnerable when there are stressful life situations, especially ones that mess with our routines. It doesn’t mean that we’re back at the start of our recovery though.

I’ve been giving it some thought today about how I’m going to overcome this issue myself. I’ve decided I’m going to really focus on working through this issue with my psychologist before I try to make the move. Is that something you’d consider doing too? My hope is that she will be able to help me understand more what I’m actually scared of, and build up my confidence that I can handle the change. I want to be at my strongest. And then I’ll also know she’s there to see regularly and keep me grounded during the anxiety provoking transition.

I was wondering also if you’d be able to ask for help from anyone around you, so that you could take a bit of a step back from the process? Perhaps your husband would be ok to take on more of the responsibilities and decision making regarding the move, so that you are less exposed to triggers and can focus more on keeping yourself well during the hard time?

As people with anxiety, we can be very hard on ourselves and frustrated by our limitations and how they affect others. I want you to know that the changes you’re planning to make are BIG! They are bound to make even the most mentally well person struggle under the feelings of uncertainty, decision-making and change. Please don’t be too hard on yourself for what has happened in the past.

It sounds like we both know what we want, and your future plan sounds amazing. I hope we can find the strength to move forward. Take care.

Alexlisa