The day after an anxiety attack - help?

[Feelinganxious]

Hi Everyone,

Really hoping someone can help me please!

Just a quick bit of background. I am 24. I have had anxiety since 15 and was incredibly depressed/suicidal/self harming from about 18-21. The depression is minimal although the anxiety is definitely in full force (daily!). I also have an alcohol problem, not to large scales but when I want to have 6,7,8 or 9 beers on a weeknight (once a week) nothing can stop me!

I have an amazing boyfriend, an absolute angel who knows the ins and outs of my brain and who supports me and helps me through every anxious moment.

The situation: last night I was with my boyfriend, he basically told me not to have any more beers and of course that sent me off. Initially I was strong willed, rude and horrible, telling him I wanted to go home and that he needs to stop controlling me. After the desire for another beer subsided. I crumbled and had a full anxiety attack. He consoled me for an hour and a half and we went to sleep.

This morning, I'm not sure how to feel. I sent him this message, as it was the only way I could verbalise my feelings and I was hoping someone could answer it, PLEASE!!!!

"I'm just not sure how I'm meant to react today, the day after.
Do I sit here and feel down and upset about how I spoke to you last night and how I would have made you feel? Or, do I try and be happy and positive and separate myself from the anxiety and realise that I had an episode last night but it shouldn't consume me today.
But then I would feel guilty for being happy when I know I would have made you sad!"

PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I'm so tired of this cycle happening every 2-3 weeks

[james1]

Hey feelinganxious,

That situation sounds really horrible to be in.

There's really no answer to how you should feel or what to do. Feelings are feelings. There's no right feeling and no wrong feeling. They come and go as they please. What's important is how we react to them.

Here's a thought for you: you have lots of feelings bouncing around at the moment. But one which I think seems very clear is you feel grateful to have your boyfriend around. Perhaps that's one which you can very clearly vocalise. You also sound confused about what should happen. That is also something he would appreciate being told.

Neither of you need to have the answer to what to do, but showing appreciation and just explaining and sharing the understanding that you don't know what to do, will help.

Otherwise, can I ask if you are currently getting any professional help from a doctor of some sort? There are, as you probably know, various medications that can help and counselling or therapy is also very effective too for anxiety and depression.

James