Suddenly lost feelings for my girlfriend please help

[bill12345]

Hi guys, i’m just really struggling right now and need to know if this is something other people have faced. I have suddenly over the last week lost complete feelings for my girlfriend of 2 years, she is amazing and i feel like i don’t even love her anymore, nothing bad has happened in our relationship and i suddenly feel anger when i think of her and have no feelings toward her, i don’t know what’s going on i just want to love her. I have struggled with mild ocd and anxiety over last couple years and it has flared up due to covid, is it something to do with my mental health because i just want to love her again and not lose her, even though when i say that i feel like i don’t even love her and i don’t know what’s going on. Like i feel like i don’t want to kiss her or get intimate and i’m really scared that i won’t get these feelings back

[jaz28]

Hi Bill,

I am sorry this is happening. However, it is a good sign that you do not want to lose her. It can be normal to lose the lovey-dovey feelings as your relationship gets serious - because relationships require a lot more work past this stage.

I do believe your OCD may be playing a part in this as well. I also suffer from intrusive thoughts related to my relationship (e.g. "Do I even want to be in this relo? Does he still want me? What if things end?") It is difficult to stay present, even though I love my partner very much and definitely would be lost without him (in other words, no - I don't want our relationship to end). But intrusive thoughts can make us think irrationally.

Next time you have a thought like this, remember that this thought is not your reality and try to bring yourself back to the present moment. But only you know what to do.

I hope this helps,

Jaz.