Stupid Feelings?/Anxiety?

[Anth701]

This is going to sound ridiculous and I feel a little selfish given some of the stories, reasons and backgrounds on here.

I've just turned 40 and have been having what I think is constant anxiety for a while now but it has really cranked itself up lately. I have a constant fear of getting cancer and that I'm going to die before I will see my kids grow up. I feel physically ill with a pit in my stomach my mind is constantly calculating the negatives and I rarely go an hour of sleep before waking up mind racing.

I lost my Dad to cancer 9 years ago and I came down with a  illness 2 years later which I had about 6 or 7 Ct scans over the course of a few months. I got really sick and was convinced I was dying before they discovered what it was and pretty much got rid of a bad internal infection. I am now convinced, at least somewhere in my conciousness that the radiation from these scans is going to give me cancer. Negative thoughts, sleeplessness and depression have increased. I feel ridiculous given what people with actual current ilnesses are going through but I can't throw it. I've even written letters to my kids. I've been to 1 psychologist but his suggestion to take a teddy bear everywhere I go and hug it when I get these feelings to placate my inner child doesn't really work for me.

I don't know what I'm asking I guess i was hoping just writing it out would help.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Anth,

It's good to look after yourself.  Try and stay healthy.   Think "My Dad passed with Cancer so I might get it".   Have checks, etc, although it is kind of funny that you figure the radiation from multiple checks for cancer might now give you cancer !  That's pretty anxious, mate.  Probably not gonna happen that way - more with a mobile phone strapped to your body 12 hours a day.  There are a lot of hip and thigh bones that have been replaced due to cancerous effects.

Why not living dangerously ?   Grab the moment ?   Get that family of yours to do MORE socialising than ever before.   Like a family bucket list but go easy on the Kentucky Fried.   Be planning and doing forever.   Take time to run around the spots you want to visit, see the films you always wanted to see, visit the theatre with favourite actors, buy that Best of Abba CD that you always wanted, wear tight jeans that you have to be pulled into them (a la Tom Jones wardrobe style, no kidding) and generally get your arse off the worry chair and into the Chair of Life.

'Cos even people with cancer tend to live very full lives for as long as they can.  A teddy is good but take it to exciting places and make teddy & I snap shots.   Get the most out of your life and forget about the constant scans - just do one every 2 years.  Join the SS and wear a protective iron vest - there's no way any radiation is gonna get you in the army.  You can even make a vest out of tin foil to act as an anti radiation aid.  And when it's 40 degress in summer open the shirt up and BBQ a couple of sausages and onions.

You could have a lot of fun - move your energy to focus on NOW not WHEN.

Adios, David.

PS  What do you think ?    Should I scan you  for signs of life ?  Lol.

[Anth701]

Ha. Thanks David.

It's amazing what a good laugh will do and you have certainly done that for me, but you also make a lot of sense. I will indeed make some changes and you're right about needing to do more in my life. Focusing on the now is a good mantra, just got to convince my subconcious now. 😉

Cheers

Anth

[Tina_92]

Hi Anth701, sorry to reply on this post 10 years later, I just wanted to check on how you may have overwhelmed this issue ... exact thing I am having, plus my GP who made me even more concerned by saying to me that I have put myself under lots of radiation by going to ED all the time etc... I have done a 4 phase CT scan on my abdomen for some pain there ... as well as another CT in ED last year plus whole serious of chest x rays everytime I go with chest pain to ED.... 😞