Starting new job tomorrow

[Shineshineshine]

Hi

I have come onto this forum in the hope of gaining some support and strength. I start a new job tomorrow and am super nervous! I haven't worked in 4 years due to anxiety issues. Have been offered and accepted jobs during that time, but after going for the first day, or half a day, I always found an excuse to leave and reject the job, it has become a bad habit and I don't want it to continue into this year. I know that this is a bad cycle and I need to break it, otherwise my life will remain at a standstill like it has the past 4 years. I see other people achieve so much in these past 4 years,and all I have done is stay in my comfort zone at home and on Centrelink. I don't like that I'm wasting my life like this.

Tomorrow is my first day at the new job and I am worried that I will find some reason to quit the job before even starting. It is a part time job, 25 hours a week, Mon-Fri, so I think it will be a good way to ease myself into working again. But I just fear that my anxiety will once again get the better of me and I will self sabotage like in the past.

Any tips on how I can break this bad cycle so that I can reclaim my life back?

[El_Guapo]

Hi S,

congratulations buddy and well done for taking this challenge on, you are brave and I know you can do it. During my time when I was in your situation I kept this mantra in my mind that help me little by little to get through day by day until I found my strength.

These are not my words but something I found many years ago on the net that really helped me.

When you start to doubt yourself, remind yourself, talk yourself through it if need be.

S.Just breath, you have been here before, just breath and know that it will pass.

S. Just breath, you know how hard this is, uncomfortable, painful, anxious but you have been here before and it will pass.

S. Just breath, you know it will pass, just breath.  I PROMISE IT WILL PASS, S.

My friend I wish you luck and know you can do it, may not be easy but I know you can do it.

Big hug and best of luck.

Mingo  AKA El Guapo.

s. Just breath

[Shineshineshine]

Thanks a lot my friend! I will remember that! I know once I get comfortable in the new environment all will be ok, it's just that initial first step and trying not to self sabotage! I know I need to do this in order to reclaim control of my life, and I have had and held jobs in the past, so it's not like I can't do it. I will remember the mantras you wrote and push through the anxiety and do it! Thanks again!

[El_Guapo]

You are most welcome S.

I know you can do it, it may not be easy but I KNOW YOU CAN DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

🙂   Mingo  El Guapo.

[Neil_1]

Hi there shine

I just wanted to pop by to see how you fared on your first day and I really hope that you got through it ok – and that you’re looking forward to Day Two.  I have my fingers crossed for you that it went well.

Neil

[geoff]

dear SSS, what is our comfort zone, well it changes from person to person, week by week, month by month and of course depends on how we feel, what we can anticipate, and what we really want, whether it is going to happen or not, but there is some sort of climax, which will make us nervous, the people we work with, the environment and the boss, but you have jumped one hurdle already, you got the job, ahead of all the other applicants, and why, because you were the best choice, the one they wanted to fill this position, so that deserves a congratulation, but with all new jobs, we have to find our feet, so it's worth a try, just to see how you go.

Will a pat on the back be enough, just to get you over the first couple of days.

Good luck. Geoff.

[Durras]

I'm wanting some ideas to help me, I just got a phone call ok about an hour ago.

I have an interview and trial on Wednesday and feeling very nervous about it. I have done this kind of work before back home in NZ but that was over 17 years ago and I feel things have changed so much since then. It is for café work. I know he wants me in cause he is happy with my application but the idea of a trial is making me so nervous.

I do have this over whelming feeling like (ok Carol this is it, this is your chance, this is the change you have been waiting for, this is the job, this is YOU!) I'm feeling all of these and giving myself mantras with them but still I am so nervous and excited at the same time. I just had a strong drink cause I was YES YES YES FINALLY! but now I have calmed down a bit, tipped the third drink down the drain and come here for help.

How do I calm myself, how do I get myself through this so it is a successful outcome. Ok I know that is asking for a lot from you all but you know what I mean.

Feeling positive wanting reassurance and guidance for calmness

Durras

X

[Shineshineshine]

Today went pretty well! I went in this morning, kept calm and told myself that all would be ok, and it worked! I didn't try and see negatives in the workplace that could give me a reason to leave, just focused on the moment and got through. I have 2 weeks training that they are providing so today, although overwhelming, I didn't actually have to do any work. So I think this will help me get comfortable in the new surroundings. The people were all nice and I think the part time hours will work well for me, will enable me to ease myself back into working again. 

All in all it has been a good start and I intend on going back for day 2 tomorrow! At least this time round I haven't allowed myself to look for reasons to call it quits and have lasted the day, so am proud of myself for that! 

Hopefully I will continue to go each day, learn the role and be able to feel comfortable about working again!

Thanks for all the support everyone!

[Neil_1]

Hi there SSS

That is awesome news and I’m so happy to hear that it all went well for you.   That was some excellent self talk you did, keeping calm and “not” looking for negatives.  Really strong stuff that.  Hopefully bit by bit it will continue to feel as comfortable as it was today – and really it should.  The first day is always the hardest one – to get over those nerves and other anxieties that our body tries to put upon us.  But when it all boils down to it, we are in an environment with other humans and for the most part, people will be courteous and helpful and welcoming – and so the anxieties, etc that our black dog wants us to encounter are really just highly over-rated.

Day by day you’ll be stronger, more confident and more learned about the whole environment.

Dear Durras

I hope some of what SSS wrote has helped – even though it wasn’t directed at you, you could hopefully have gained some valuable support information to help you in this upcoming time for you.

The big thing to remember is that you’ve done this work before – you have the skill-set needed to accomplish it – all we need now is for you to get the confidence needed and you’ll be over half-way there.  Ok, things have most probably changed in a café style of work – but that’s what the training will be all about.  The basis of it all is still the same – people come in wanting to get a drink of coffee, etc – that premise is still the same and the customer/staff relationship is still the same as well.  Courteous, friendly, welcoming kinds of traits, which I believe you would have loads of these – purely because you’ve done this work before and that’s what’s needed.  You also come across on these forums exactly like those traits as well, so I think you’ll do brilliantly at your interview and trial.

I do hope you can post back before (but especially after) to let us know how it all went.

Kind regards

Neil

[Durras]

Hi Neil,

I got to the café about half hour before the interview and it was really busy. I walked around the shops for awhile as I become really over whelmed if that's the correct word, I straight away was thinking can I do this, is this seriously for me, can I manage and be fast paced enough. All sorts of questions were going through my mind, I tried to ring my husband but no answer as he would have been busy at work.

Honestly thou before I left home, I was thinking of ringing BB for help, advice as I was doubting myself then, but I pushed through as I didn't want to let my husband down but not going.

Anyway the Manager seemed really nice, friendly and easy to chat with so I relaxed ok with it and surprisingly he didn't ask about my past work. He did say one thing that hit home to me " I want someone who wants this job, not just here for the money but for the job/position its self" I thought immediately is that me as I know I am desperate for money.

I'm going through a strong guilty stage with not working and feel like I am dependent too much on my husband and not contributing to our marriage.

I got past that by saying I would really like the position, I am available 3-4 days and looking into developing myself further with training in a course for this line of work do you have any suggestions on a course. Well at the end he said the usual that I hear "I do have more people to interview and I want the right person for the position but please call me when you get back from your holiday"

Anyway I woke this morning with a whole new outlook (I put it in another post to SF)

I have decided to focus more on getting into aged care, as I know within I have very low self esteem and confidence issues so I think being a nurse aid would be great fit for me so I can help them and by doing so I will be leaving with a good heart knowing what I have done for the day. Hope this all makes sense.

Thank you for caring and wanting to know how it all went. I'm always happy to hear more feedback too.

Durras