something missing

something_missing · ‎17-10-2017

hi to everybody. mmm where to start. pretty sure i got social anxiety.dont like a crowds. if i go i will stay for a while but then i need to get out. i usually leave without anybody knowing.used to laugh alot [no not camalot] and joke a fair bit but it has gone by the way side. i have always been an outsider but still mangaged to socialise a bit. i live by myself on a station which is not helping the situation ,i have come to relise this . am medatating atm but i have neg thoughts more than i care. i catch myself doing it and stop and try to be positive. probably joined up on this site to look for help but have some communation as well. have been thinking of going back down sth to my cousins farm next yr to be around more people which is oxymoron as i dont like a lot of people around me.

BballJ · ‎17-10-2017

Hi something missing,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out for support and if you just want people to communicate with who understand you situation then these forums are great for that.

You said you suffer from social anxiety? has this been diagnosed? It is great you are doing meditation which helps a lot of mental health sufferers. My question to you is have you ever spoken to a doctor about all these feelings? Maybe getting a referral to a psychologist may help you with someone to speak with who is a trained professional?

Please post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

something_missing · ‎18-10-2017

hi jay. no havent been diagnosed yet,but if i go back down sth there is a lady who does that kind of thing. my ex told me i had add and we went to see a specilist ,he reckon i had it, fine but the ex was reading to much into it and wouldnt let up and the more she went on about it the more i shut down. i am not reall good a confontation. yeah i know that has nothing to do with anxiety.i was bullied at school and abused at home by my step mother[mentally] so keeping out of sight was my way of dealing with it. so hence rural work or truck driving is good cause im on my own. i worked 15 yrs on mines which was ok cause even though u r surrounded by people u dont have to interact with them all the time.i seem to have this problem that i run out of things to talk about after a while a i dont seem to be able to keep aconversation going. i cant really complain about my life as it has been very good and i know there r a lot of people out there that r really struggling.would just like to be able to interact with people without it beening a effort. i can talk to anyone, just cant keep it going , then u feel like a dick so i just dont bother anymore. stupid thing is my nickmane used to be have a chat.and to all those people out there that r really struggling i feel for them

BballJ · ‎18-10-2017

Hi something missing,

I do think there is grounds for you to definitely speak to a GP and/or psychologist just to speak about everything. The bullying and being mentally scarred by your step mum are all stuff that may have some relation to your current situation. It never ever hurts to look into it and you can only get better from this point by seeking the help. I am a little the opposite, where I am alone, my anxiety flares up and I struggle big time. I need to be around people so my mind doesn't overthink every little thing.

My best,

Jay

something_missing · ‎19-10-2017

thanks for the relpies. that stepmum thing is something i definatly have to work on . was thinking about cbt theropie . heard that may help also if im with a crowd of people to start with im ok but after a while if everyone is talking my mind seems to jump all around the place as in catching bits of conversation from everywere . eventually i can feel the grey matter jacking up so i really have to concentrate real hard to stay focused on the person i am talking to. i know i do this cause i keep catching myself doing it .i did used to panic a bit when working ,if i had two or three jobs on the go ,i would bounce from one to the other and get all hyped up cause i didnt seem to b getting anywere but now it is one job at a time and i am more satisfied with the out come.i am also a bit of a perfectios[ spelling crap] if i am doing a job and it is not quite rite i will start all over again which used to piss the ex off . i am enjoying this form of communacation so maybe that is a omen for me

BballJ · ‎19-10-2017

Hi something missing,

CBT is great, I have done it before to help with my anxiety and it really did help me understand it a lot better which helped me out from under it. I highly recommend it. I think it will assist in the social anxiety side and dealing with that and also stuff to do with your step mum. My anxiety is very much family related and helped me heaps.

If this form of communication is ok for now then no worries, but I do suggest seeing the GP and a psychologist if possible. I used these forums and a psychologist to help battle my mental health issues.

My best,

Jay

something_missing · ‎20-10-2017

thanks jay. will give the CBT a go

Guest_128 · ‎20-10-2017

Hey,

Sounds like you are pretty remote,have you tried the help lines,ie phone them for advice,online professionals? Give it ago,

What social things have you got near where you live?

Dory

something_missing · ‎30-10-2017

hello dory. how r u. yep were i am living is on a cattle stn . the nearest town is 250 kms away the local town is 60 kms away. i have actually lived in more remote places but when u r surrounded by people it doesnt feel so bad. i got onto this site through a young lady who was riding from darwin to adeladie for beyond blue. riding as in push bike. she was doing the back roads and was stopping in at kennedy ranges on her way through.now there r socail events in the town 60kms from me this depends on the time of yr to how regualar they r. i just spent the weekend in carnarvon [250kms away] . . i deliberatly went out and just wnt up to people and struck up a conversation. there was a couple of events happening that weekend. i had a great weekend and it got me thinking that a i have to get out more or b it is time to go back to civilisation. i love it out were i am but also i guess that i need to be a bit more reilistic because sometimes u cant have ur cake and eat it u have to weight up the options.i had a partner out here with me to start but we went our seperate ways.i left here 18 mths ago but came back cause i couldnt stop thinking about the place.i have been here for 10mths on my own and single for 2yrs. had thought about looking for someone but not out here because of the isolation. also if i move to a more populated area i am thinking about seeing a doctor about gettint CBT therepy. i am always thinking negitive for some reason but i do catch myself doing it and then ask myself wtf am i doing this for . i have a great job with beautiful surroundings.yet when i was in town not one neg thought. sort of telling me something i reckon. any way thaks for ur time. keep smiling life is great

BballJ · ‎30-10-2017

Hi something missing,

I like that you can recognise the negative thoughts and almost stop yourself from thinking about them, that is really good but the CBT sounds like it may just benefit you as well. If you do make the move to the city, I do highly recommend it but I do also encourage you to keep using this site to keep talking and making sure you are ok. It really can be beneficial.

I like how you finished you post - keep smiling life is great - amazing quote.

My best,

Jay