Social Issues

[MedievalMelody]

Hey!

I'm new to this forum but have visited the beyond blue website quite a lot through the past years. I've suffered from GAD and OCD since I was eight, and now moving into year 7 things have just seemed to decline right after they started improving, and I've been finding it difficult to sustain healthy friendships.

I was extremely excited for highschool, but began to get sick of it within the first week.i came to my highschool unaccompanied by any of my primary school friends, so I was completely on my own. By the second week, I had made a few friends but moved on from them as I realised I didn't really like them (we just weren't the right types of people for eachother if you know what I mean). I began to hate every boring, continuous class and sometimes I wound up on the verge of a panic attack as I just got trapped in my thoughts. I randomly get sharp pains through my body, headaches, rapid heart beat, itchiness or other symptoms which just make me feel uncomfortable.

I finally settled in to a friend group and my near anxiety attacks subsided, but then I noticed a problem. You see, I joined a friendship group which was already a trio who really liked eachother. I slowly became friends with them - two of the three really enjoyed my company and I enjoyed theirs so I stayed. But the third person Dislikes me, or at least she acts that way. She tells me that nobody cares when I try to share something, she subtly singles me out and makes me feel unwanted or out of place. She might not mean harm in what she does or says, but it's really upsetting as all I want is to be friends with her. She speaks down to me and makes it clear that she doesn't like me as much as the others. My parents keep telling me to just make new friends but its really not that easy. I know everyone in my home group and these three girls are the only people who can match my energy except for that one girl.

Now my anxiety is creeping back again and I have no will to got to school each day. Don't get me wrong, I love school and i love learning. I get good grades and I'm very social. But now I just dread coming to school and it feels like there's nothing to look forward to. Life is like a chore at this point. Sometimes I cant even cry or feel sad and I don't know if it's because I can't feel bothered to or I'm just overreacting.

I dont know what's happening. If anyone can give me advice/support I would strongly appreciate it. Thank you and have a lovely day/evening.

[Sophie_M]

Hi MedievalMelody,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that you dread going to school and that you feel like there's nothing to look forward too. We understand this must be such a confusing and overwhelming time for you right now. We want to remind you that you are not alone and support is always here for you. 

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also feel it might be helpful to reach out to Kids Helpline.who are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. 

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Petal22]

Hi MedievalMelody,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s difficult….. I also suffered with OCD.

Have you received any professional help for your OCD?

Im sorry that school feels the way it does for you at the moment.

I understand that it’s hard when we feel trapped in our thoughts.

Maybe the next time you feel this way you can try to put your attention on something in the present moment….. like if your holding a pencil how does it feel, what does it look like, how does it sound on the paper? By doing this it will bring your attention out of your thoughts into the present moment.

Im sorry that the one girl in your group isn’t very nice…. Just remember this is a reflection of her and not you…

Can you talk to your parents about the way you are feeling?

Maybe you could ask your parents to take you to see your gp so you could have a chat about the way you are feeling.

Im here to chat to you

[sbella02]

Hey MedievalMelody,

Thank you for your post, and a warm welcome to our forums, we're happy to have you.

As someone who struggled with friendships throughout high school, I understand your situation. And for your struggles to be compounded by OCD and GAD must be tough, too. Your feelings are totally valid, and you're definitely not overreacting.

It's always so frustrating to be told that "nobody cares" when you speak, or to be talked down to. Have you tried having a chat with the other friend in your trio to see if they've noticed the other friend's behaviour? It may be worthwhile talking to them about it, just so they're at the very least aware of it. If you feel comfortable enough, you could also try having a chat to the friend who's being rude, just to let her know that you don't like the way that she's treating you, even if she doesn't realise how she's coming across to you. There is definitely no pressure to do this, only if you feel comfortable.

Something that really helped me towards the end of my high school journey was having friends outside of school who I could rely on. I had a part-time job and made friends through this avenue. This may not be applicable for your age yet necessarily, but it may be something to think about in future.

Joining a sporting club outside of school may also help you find a few friends with similar interests, if there's a sport that you would enjoy playing. Even if there are any clubs, sports, or groups inside of school that you would like to join, you may find that you make unexpected friendships with people you never would've otherwise made contact with. This is only if you feel comfortable doing so, joining clubs or sports isn't everyone's cup of tea, of course.

It may be worth having a chat to a school counsellor, or a therapist, psychologist, or GP about your struggles. They may be able to give you some professional advice and assistance.

Please continue chatting here on our forums if you'd like, we're always here to offer you more support.

All the best, SB