Social anxiety

[laneyp84]

Hi, I'm hopping on here in the hope of at least finding some like minded people.. I am mum to three children (two of which are teens) and have been feeling depressed and anxious on and off for years. I don't have support as my family are in another country. I recently quit my job for various reasons but now I'm struggling to find another one.. I have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember and I know I just need to get out there and get a job or it gets worse but I live in a small isolated town where there are very few jobs going, especially if you are a newcomer like me. I have no friends here and my mum and dad who I haven't seen for two years were supposed to come and visit but now they can't, thank you coronavirus. I recently joined a bookclub which I was excited about but when I'm there it's obvious I haven't been socialising for months and I get too anxious to even talk without going very red. I feel inadequate too because the other women all have careers as well as kids which doesn't help. My partner has his own problems and struggles to help/ understand any of this.

thanks for listening 🙂

[Peppermintbach]

Hi laneyp,

I really felt your loneliness & disconnection through your pained words. I think it’s a horrible feeling to feel that there isn’t much support around. Also, being so geographically distant from your overseas family can’t be easy...

I think the limited employment options in your town must be frustrating & stressful. I get a feeling that maybe there’s also a sense of an “in” group & “out” group in your town?

I feel the intensity that you’re struggling with your emotions, plus anxiety & depression...it’s a lot to process on your own...

I am thinking of you...

Kindness and care,

Pepper

[Butterfly_Wings_of_Hope]

Hi Laneyp84 🙂

Thank you for sharing, I think it takes a lot of bravery sometimes to speak out on a forum so kudos to you for reaching out.

I completely understand you as I too have social anxiety. I often feel uncomfortable and not good enough when I am in a crowd, and I often find myself over-compensating in social situations by being "overly nice". It's my way of trying to make friends but people often see right through it and it can sometimes actually push people away from me.

Fortunately, there is hope for us!

I used to be a complete loner, but by slowly putting myself out there bit by bit, I am starting to make friends and I currently have a group of friends which I never used to have! So there is hope for us, if we make an effort to fight past the anxiety and be brave and put ourselves out there.

I'm happy to be your online forum friend, and I'm happy to share with you the strategies I have used in order to get myself out there and fight past my anxiety... but I think really the biggest thing is being brave and jumping in. That's what I had to do.

I'm also having work troubles, so I get what it's like to be surrounded by people with big careers. It can be a bit self-esteem crippling to see those around you succeed while you are flailing.

I hope things get better for you mate, and please know I am here for you 🙂

Much love and many blessings,
~Butterfly

[sapphirestorm]

Hi Laney, I too have social anxiety, a mother to two teenagers and a defacto husband who has his own issues with anxiety. I've always had social anxiety but only diagnosed about ten years ago. It's hard to make friends when your in this situation and can be very lonely at times, hence why i joined this site, i to am hoping to find some like minded people. I would love to join a book club but haven't found the courage to yet, and now with corona keeping me home it would seem that's not happening in the near future. What kind of books do you like to read?