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Anxiety

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BeyondBlue Hi! Check out this post if you're not sure how to start
  • replies: 0

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are... View more

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are really interested in what you might want to add to these conversations. We get it, having anxiety makes it hard to share in a public place. Remember, this is anonymous and the Beyond Blue team are here to help if you need it This section is for people who are experiencing anxiety in some form in their lives. This might be in social settings, at work, or just in the day to day. You don’t need a diagnosis to post here. If it feels like the right spot for your post, go right ahead! We know that feeling anxious can make it hard to reach out so we want you to know that getting this far is amazing and a great start. A few tips for getting the most out of this section: Get involved when you can! Posting and replying is the heartbeat of this community and you DO have something worthwhile to share (when you’re ready ) Every experience is different. There is no competition here. We know how challenging anxiety can be and how it comes in all shapes and sizes. What you are experiencing will be respected and supported here. Trust yourself! You are the expert in your experience. This community works because people like you share what has worked for you. Thank you for getting involved and taking a look. We can’t wait to hear from you! Beyond Blue

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Missberri How to make new friends
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I'm posting as I'm feeling kind of lonely at the moment. Last year was a super busy year for me and somehow that has lead me to losing a lot of friends. I spent the whole year working and studying and not making as much time for people as I... View more

Hi there, I'm posting as I'm feeling kind of lonely at the moment. Last year was a super busy year for me and somehow that has lead me to losing a lot of friends. I spent the whole year working and studying and not making as much time for people as I used to because I felt I didn't have the capacity to do so with the heavy load of priorities. While I thought my friends would understand, they've almost completely stopped inviting me to things and some have even started ignoring my texts. It's not like I never saw anyone at all. If I ever had a break from studies or a day where I had the time to make it I would, but I guess it hasn't been enough and now I'm feeling pretty upset and kind of like a mess. I've been on my break from studies since December and while I thought this would be my chance to finally see them a lot more none of them have really bothered to reach out to me, I'm constantly seeing them post things they're all doing together on social media and when I reach out to them it's almost like they're not interested. Anyway, instead of dwelling on all this I've realised it's time to move on. I've been there for a lot of these friends so many times for many years and if they can't be supportive of me trying to achieve my goals in life and work towards my future then I just don't want to bother anymore. I'm not going to jeopardise my studies to get drunk every weekend and I want to work so I can save for my own house. It's not as if I don't turn up when it's important I'm always there for birthdays and I'm always there as soon as I have the time to be there. I guess at this point I'm just hurt. So I guess I'm just wondering how do people even make new friends? I've never been good at this kind of thing. I have pretty bad social anxiety and I'm terrible at just going up and talking to people. I just feel really silly like I don't even know what to say if I walk up to someone and I just find the hardest thing to be going out and meeting new people. Then if I did that how would I maintain the connection with people and actually become friends? I'm terrible at this. My new years resolution this year was actually to try and be more social as I gave myself such a heavy load last year. It wasn't that fun and I really want to enjoy myself this year so I want to improve my social life and make time for people. I don't want to feel lonely and down in the dumps this year. Any advice would be so appreciated!

Carwash Social anxiety - struggling with assertiveness training
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, I'm having a lot of trouble with assertiveness training recently. Here's the short version: I'm having trouble making it a consistent habit since the situations that require assertiveness for me often happen days/weeks apart and I find it e... View more

Hey guys, I'm having a lot of trouble with assertiveness training recently. Here's the short version: I'm having trouble making it a consistent habit since the situations that require assertiveness for me often happen days/weeks apart and I find it easy to slip into old habits because I'm not practicing daily. Also, the situations that require me to be assertive most often need me to jump into the deep end, which causes so much anxiety and is really hard for me. Here's the long version: I've been "sharing" a car with my sister for a few months now (read: she uses it most of the time, usually without asking). The last few months it was ok because I was studying and didn't need it as much - but now that I've graduated I really need a car so I can see friends, exercise more often, apply for jobs, etc. She's started looking but she really isn't that committed, she usually goes out to see her friends/boyfriend instead. Every time I try to tell her things need to change I need to jump straight into the deep end with being assertive and it causes so much anxiety. I want to work up to that level slowly... but I'm struggling to make progress to begin with because most of the time I don't feel like I need to be assertive... and so it's hard for me to make assertiveness a habit if I don't encounter these kinds of situations every day. How do I make it a habit so I can actually progress?

Rob13579 Diagnosis of ASD/OCD/Anxiety/Phobia/Depression for adults
  • replies: 1

Dear All I am not officially diagnosed with ASD, but I suspect that I am on the Autism spectrum and I may also have OCD. I always feel disconnected with others, even family members. Also I think differently than others. For instance, my sense of humo... View more

Dear All I am not officially diagnosed with ASD, but I suspect that I am on the Autism spectrum and I may also have OCD. I always feel disconnected with others, even family members. Also I think differently than others. For instance, my sense of humour is often only understood by myself only. In my understanding, ASD, OCD,..., and depression are all related and I certainly cannot distinguish all the differences between them. I was born in the 90s, so it's likely that doctors in the past overlooked my condition when my mother had suspicion of me being autistic or on the autism spectrum. My main struggle is to maintain a conversation, especially with strangers. It's not natural for me to make eye contacts and have chats with anyone. Most people describe me as a serious person. Now I think that is because I find it extremely difficult to let go of certain things or issues. When I was a child, I could only talk to my mother softly. After years of struggles with socialisation, I managed to graduate from my Master's degree in Physics. I can have conversations with others now if the conversations are not chats. Although I can talk to strangers now, I still feel uneasy in conversations. I am looking for work right now and it has been difficult to stay calm and be confident in job interviews. I also don't hang out with friends much, partly because I don't have many close friends. Logically in the perspective of people not on the Autism spectrum, I should feel lonely, but I don't. I want to get a ASD/OCD/Anxiety/Phobia/Depression diagnosis, but I don't know where to start because I am an adult now. I also think my GP is not trained to diagnose ASD for adults. Does anyone know how an adult can get a diagnosis of ASD/OCD/Anxiety/Phobia/Depression? Kind regards

SquireHarbour State of identity crisis
  • replies: 1

Hello, everyone on Australia Day. Or other names if feel compelled to. I feel insanely anxious and scared right now. At least for one day out of one year where we are supposed to reflect and respect our history, but all I see is anger, divisiveness a... View more

Hello, everyone on Australia Day. Or other names if feel compelled to. I feel insanely anxious and scared right now. At least for one day out of one year where we are supposed to reflect and respect our history, but all I see is anger, divisiveness and polarisation of our society into two camps. As this January 26 saga continues on, the more and more I feel like my home, my identity and my entire story is going to be taken away from me and shoved into some easy going narrative and I just can't stand it anymore. I feel like my entire identity will be used to bash me over the head on why I can't be pure. My entire Australian story will be taken away from me and I can't do squat about it. Its really cheap to say it honestly, but both sides of the debate, at least in my view, will twist the story me and so many other immigrant born Aussies are experiencing into pigeonholed narratives, the counter rally people will say that somehow tolerating the existence of Australia Day means that I support genocide, and the government will say that not supporting the day to the hilt means I am not a true blue.... what can I do? Help.

Jessiesgirl Stressed and over anxious
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, i feel like I have been bottling this up for so long. My anxiety is getting worse and worse. I no longer feel like me. im 30 years old, a mother of two beautiful children and a supportive husband. the past two years for my family hasn’t ... View more

Hi everyone, i feel like I have been bottling this up for so long. My anxiety is getting worse and worse. I no longer feel like me. im 30 years old, a mother of two beautiful children and a supportive husband. the past two years for my family hasn’t been the greatest. Last year we lost my mother in law, who I was really close to. My family misses her, and my husband still isn’t coping with her lose. In 2018 we almost lost everything because If a court case. My husband and I almost got divorced because of this. We went from living a lavish life style to having to sell all the furniture in our house to eat. In amongst all of this my little family were involved in a serious car accident where our car was ridden off. Then my own mother got sick and almost lost her kidneys. Even though all these bad things happen my family still pulled though. Unfortunately, due to all these events I have been left with extreme anxiety. I worry constantly that something bad is going to happen to my children ie illness, car accident. I always worry that something bad will happen to them and I end up over thinking everything they have. I worry about my appearance, I feel embarrassed of myself. I worry about money but I can’t stop spending it. Because it makes me feel better about myself, this causes a lot of arguments with my husband. I worry about what everyone thinks about me. my husband gets upset with me because I get used a lot. For example; I was made to work 60 hours in one week, and only got paid for 38 hours. They told me the rest was Time in lieu. My husband is upset with me for not speaking up and telling them to pay me properly. Im mentally and physically exhausted. I yell and scream at everyone, because I feel like a failure. im at a loss. I’m struggling and I’m always sad (I don’t want to self harm).

Hound_Dog Panic attacks for fifty years
  • replies: 1

My first panic attack happened when I was sixteen years old. I had no idea what was happening to me and I felt both scared and embarrassed and was unable to share my experiences with either friends or family. By the time I was nineteen I was working ... View more

My first panic attack happened when I was sixteen years old. I had no idea what was happening to me and I felt both scared and embarrassed and was unable to share my experiences with either friends or family. By the time I was nineteen I was working in a factory and once again the attacks started again and I could no longer work. I went to a doctor who advised counseling and completed the course. The counselor advised me that my anxiety and panic attacks were caused by the fear of rejection a diagnosis that I still believe all these years later to be a correct. The constant fear of rejection has resulted over the years of being scared in social situations where I feel extremely self conscious. First at school, then work and social gatherings. I am not competitive, cannot deal with aggressive people or people who are incapable of treating people as equals. I still have panic attacks but have learnt to deal with them so that they are not affecting my quality of life too much. I'm fortunate to have a supportive partner and moved to a better environment when I retired. Here is a list of some of the things that I have found that help me to cope with panic attacks. I practice mindful meditation every day. Walk every day. Have a dog that gives me unconditional love. Spend time with nature and absorb its beauty. Drink alcohol in small quantities. Drink decaf coffee. Eat a healthy diet and love to cook. Have regular health checks. I guess I wanted to write this post to share with other sufferers that I have accepted my condition, that it will always be with me but it can be managed with hard work and commitment.

pinkwren Has anyone experienced something similar? xx
  • replies: 4

Hi there I'm new to the forum, but just wanted some advice I am a recovered anorexic and I have always been very, very skinny, even way before I developed my eating disorder. I find it extremely difficult to gain weight, no matter how much I eat, not... View more

Hi there I'm new to the forum, but just wanted some advice I am a recovered anorexic and I have always been very, very skinny, even way before I developed my eating disorder. I find it extremely difficult to gain weight, no matter how much I eat, not because I am controlled by my ED, but because it seems like I simply cannot put any weight on. I eat without restriction, and am at a somewhat healthy weight for my body at the moment, though I am told quite frequently that I need to "eat more". Specifically, my spine is mostly the focus point of people's comments, as it sticks out unlike most other peoples. For as long as I can remember, my spine has always been this way, even when I was very young. I'm really insecure about how it looks and the repetitive comments are starting to really upset me because I feel like there is not a lot I can do to change it because it's the way I have always been. I feel anxious going out in public now, where people can see my spine because I'm afraid that people will think that I am 'sick' or still deep into my ED, when this is not the case at all. I'm sorry this sounds so vain, but I just needed to get all of that out. Has anyone else experienced something like this, or have any suggestions as to what I can do? I'm completely open to gaining weight, it's just I have no idea how to go about it because my weight refuses to budge no matter what I do. Thank you so much for reading - I really appreciate it xx

cookiesandcream Anxiety and studying right career path
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I just need some general advice. I have such anxiety about my chosen study career path. I'm currently studying a Bachelor of Education (Primary) and am just about to go into 2nd year. However I really don't see myself in the long term being a... View more

Hi All, I just need some general advice. I have such anxiety about my chosen study career path. I'm currently studying a Bachelor of Education (Primary) and am just about to go into 2nd year. However I really don't see myself in the long term being a teacher. I guess it will suit school holiday's with my family and grandchild and any more future grandchildren. . However my heart is really in studying Law. I have also been accepted into a Bachelor of Laws, but I know that I can only study one degree. Law is really what I would like to study, but I know the hours etc will be ridiculous. And hubby probably would hate that. Plus I know the study for Law degree is very full on, lots of reading (don't know if my family would support me on this decision). It gives me such anxiety, that am I wasting my time with teaching, or should I just finish the teaching degree, then later on do a Juris prudence (law postgraduate). I just can't wait to study law, it really, really interest me. The only other alternative would be to change to Secondary teaching and add legal studies on as my major. help and advice anyone please? my head just can't shut off.

Guest_342 Strange reaction to something that happened?
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone. I hope you are having a nice Christmas / holiday season. I wondered if any of you might have some thoughts to offer about a reaction I felt when a few fairly minor things happened tonight. I was hosting a family dinner for 7 of us. Two (... View more

Hi everyone. I hope you are having a nice Christmas / holiday season. I wondered if any of you might have some thoughts to offer about a reaction I felt when a few fairly minor things happened tonight. I was hosting a family dinner for 7 of us. Two (my uncle and a family friend whom I do not know) were coming late - around 8:30 or 9 - and I had specifically asked my uncle the week before whether they would be having dinner before arriving so I knew how many people to cater for. They said they would eat here, so I bought supplies for 7. My uncle gratefully said to please prepare the food for them too and put it aside until they arrive. Then when they arrived, neither was hungry - they had eaten not long ago but did not acknowledge that I had catered for them. And when they arrived, My uncle advised the other to put their bags in my garage next to the front door, without asking me first. I actually get a little embarrassed about people going in there because it sometimes smells due to my cat having his litter tray in there. They pushed the door instead of sliding it and it broke of its rail and made an almighty crash. Then three of the guys - my dad and two uncles - spent the next half hour trying unsuccessfully to fix it. My first uncle cut his finger and got blood all over the place and didn’t clean it up - I had to. Then when I went up to the bathroom to see if he was alright, he and the other uncle were in there, and they had opened my cupboard and opened a bar of soap. I feel like my bathroom cupboard is my private domain and I feel like my privacy has been invaded. And I also did not give them permission to touch the soap - there was plenty on the basin. I didn’t say anything about these things but I felt unhappy for the rest of the night and told my dad I was done with the night. My dad said he’ll come over in two days to help me fix the door, which I am very grateful for - because I won’t need to pay for a tradesperson. But in the mean time I don’t know how to keep my cat out of the garage while I am driving in and out without having that door. I was in tears after everyone finally left. And now I feel like I have made Christmas unpleasant and that I didn’t show gratitude for the lovely gifts I received and company I had. I just wanted everyone to leave. I know I am over-reacting to these little things and don’t understand why it has upset me so much.

Mark1295 Anxiety and poor relationships/friendships
  • replies: 1

I have gone through many relationships that have not lasted at all. I do happen to suffer social anxiety too. First one failed because I was too needy. Second failed, because I was dumping problems onto the other person. Third one failed, because I w... View more

I have gone through many relationships that have not lasted at all. I do happen to suffer social anxiety too. First one failed because I was too needy. Second failed, because I was dumping problems onto the other person. Third one failed, because I was projecting too much of issues onto them. My friendships have not really lasted as I overburden them or often fail to make my needs communicated. .. A lot of the time, I feel bad for making my own needs met, often overapologise and feel insecure about the connections I make. Unfortunately, anxiety and insecurities are the black holes of relationship energy. The most frustrating bit is, I'm very self aware about anxiety, but I can't stop it. It is like a train that keeps running off the rails, even the operator knows that it's gone off tracks. .. What can I do about this? My last cousellor wasn't very particuarly helpful.