So very tired of anxiety

[Searcher]

Hi, 

just wondering if anyone else is tired. Tired of taking medication.. Tired of hearing about relaxation. Tired of hearing about slowing down and spending more time with being aware and developing 'mindfulness'. 

These are all worthy exercises, but in reality, very difficult to maintain. People depend on us so much. Children need us mentally and physically healthy. Husbands need us to 'suck it up' and stay strong. t's just not possible. I'm tired.

Don't want to whinge, but maybe there is another strategy to dealing with this stupid, debilitating and demanding diagnosis.

[NicoleP]

Hi Searcher

Welcome to the BB forums. I love the name as that is what I feel like I spend a lot of my time doing - whether when seeing psychologist, reading self help books or searching the net. I feel like I am always looking for the answer to make me feel content inside and to be able to cope with the day to day pressures. I am lucky that I have a fantastic and supportive husband but I am sick of having to put on a front to keep other people happy at work. There's vent for the day.

I guess over time, I am learning to accept myself for who I am and all that it brings. Otherwise, like you, I spend so much time, trying to be someone else and that is tiring. I accept that I need to be organised to keep my world at peace. I accept that whilst I like social contact, I don't like parties and don't like having people around for meals - happy with meeting them at gym, for a bike ride, coffee etc. I accept that I need 'me' time each day. I accept that I need to finish one thing before starting another. I also try and accept that I suffer from anxiety - I therefore understand that many of my personality quirks are related to the anxiety. Don't know if this helps.

Kezza

[HA1]

Hi Searcher!  Welcome to the forum.

I and most others on this forum can fully understand  the frustration I sense in your post. Yes; I too am tired, particularly tired of being tired and tired of masking my feelings.  So you are not alone in feeling like this. 

Yes, we have people that depend on us, and the stress of that compounds the effects of the illness. This often makes me feel so tired that I can't function properly - can't think straight.  Although individual circumstances may not permit this, in my case I will now always have a lie down if I am tired. I don't care if it is 10am or 2pm.  I close my eyes for a short while, then I start writing about the feelings I am feeling.  Getting it out of my system seems to help. 

But I must agree with KezzaA,  acceptance makes a difference. In my case, accepting that: I have a mental illness, that I will require medication to manage it, and that I will need to change my lifestyle has made a difference.  Sure, still baby steps, but nonetheless they are steps forward.  I accept also that there will be cases of 'one step forward and two steps back', but I am confident that these hiccups will reduce over time once dividends from my acceptance has started to kick in. 

I hope in your case its not a case of having to 'suck it up', because IMO we really can't just suck it up. However, taking the right steps to manage the illness helps us cope.  

Searcher, thank you for your post, it made me think about it - and hence the reply. It helps.

Take care

K

[Chloekat84]

I feel exactly the same way searcher. Soo physically tired of trying deep breathing exercises which often don't work for me and mindfulness as well. Ur not alone!