Separation Anxiety?

[Hppyf33t]

Hi everyone,


This is my first post and I’m very new to all this so bear with me.


I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 6 months and I’m at my wits end. I have never ever felt like this before. I have seen my GP about this.
I know what has triggered it and I’m not coping very well at all.

After living in the one town for over 10 years (we have moved a lot with my husbands work around the state) with my husband and two children. We have now gone through some BIG changes in our family and living situation.
Both the kids have moved out of home to different towns and my husband and I have also moved to a new town as empty nesters.
One child now lives 8 hours away and the other 4.5 hours.
The reason for our move was my husband resigned from a job that he was in for a very long time as he wasn’t happy there anymore and was very stressed. He was offered a new job with another company in another town that he loves. I left a job that I had been in for 10 years and enjoyed.
We are now living in our own home for the first time in our 28 years of marriage which I was so looking forward to.
We weighed up all the pros and cons about this move and felt it was the right thing for us and our future.
But things haven’t gone as well as I had hoped with all the changes. (For me anyway)
My husband is doing fine and he knows that I am struggling and has been very supportive.
I’ve got friends here and I got another job but I’m not enjoying it and want to leave but it’s really hard to find work in the town so I feel I’m stuck there for the time being.
We try and see the kids as much as possible as I miss them desperately.
We see friends often and keep ourselves busy getting our house to how we want it.
I’ve also just had a major operation which I needed weeks off work.
All this tied together has put me in the place I’m in now.
I have the same thoughts going around in my head over and over, what if?? What if we didn’t make these changes?? My heart feels heavy and broken, I’m not sleeping well so I’m tired, I’ve lost a lot of weight as I’ve lost my appetite, I cry a lot, I zone out and just have this numb feeling through my body. I feel lonely and lost. It takes effort to get up and go for the day. I don’t have much energy to do anything but I make myself push through the day.
Is this separation anxiety? Will it pass eventually? Has anyone else experienced these feelings after such changers? TIA.

[White_Rose]

Good stuff. I'm glad you have an early appointment. I hope it all goes well.

Mary

[Nicole73]

Hi H@ppyf33t,

I found your post...thanks for directing me. Wow, our situations sound very similar. Although I have essentially moved back to the place I grew up in, everything feels foreign (if that makes sense). I was living for 11 years in my last place. As you know from my forum post, I abruptly left the place of employment, so I raise my hat for you sticking it out for so long. The area I am in is very hard to get jobs too and that was part of my reason for feeling guilty for leaving my job, but deep down I'm glad I did (even though I'm still very raw and emotional about leaving and now unemployed...lol), but at least I can concentrate now on finding something that is more suited (hopefully) and make me happier. It's amazing how something that sounds so straight forward and easy can actually be so complex and turn our lives into turmoil. But...every day is a new day, hey. Fingers (and toes) crossed that slowly everything decides to uncoil itself and puts us both back on the road to recovery.

[Hppyf33t]

Hi Nicole73,

Thank you for your kind words. To be able to write this and know that someone else knows exactly what I’m feeling and know that adjustment disorder is a real thing is amazing.

I didn’t mention in my post here that I had previously lived where we are now for 6 years. We absolutely loved it. The plan was to stay. We built our first home that we never got to live in as my husband and I decided to accept a transfer to further his career to where we have just moved from. We kept the house and leased it out, in the hope we’d be back one day. And here we are. But everything is different. No kids, no family at all near by. We still have close friends here, the house is great. But I’m missing my family and old job desperately. It’s such a sense of loss.

I do think you should go talk to someone sooner rather than later like I did. I just thought it would go away. The anxiety has given me more bad days than good. I have another therapist appointment tomorrow and next week. I’ve never done anything like it before but I’m at a stage I think I’d try anything to knock this thing on the head. I’m thinking of trying acupuncture just to try and calm me down.