Separation anxiety

[gloria10]

Hello,

Thanks for reading my post. I'm finding my anxiety is increasing at the moment and I'm looking at ways to manage it. I've had it for years and I'm not surprised that it has resurfaced.

So, my parents are away at the moment. We have a co-dependant relationship and I normally call my parents at least once a day. I have improved and can have days where I manage fine without them, however, they are away for a month and I am having to cope on my own with no one to turn to, which is why I'm writing this post.

I guess the thing that I'm finding hardest is that my mum worries about everything going wrong and we all try to compensate for that. I've been trying to make sure everything is perfect eg having no anxiety, not getting emotional and not having any problems with work and I am struggling. I guess I'm most afraid that she'll come back and be angry at me for one thing or another. I cant please her. I also feel like I can't call them which is hardest.

I'm also still adjusting to a relatively new job so any advice on that would be great. I expect to learn things straight away and I feel like my boss expects that too which is extra pressure.

I'm wondering where I might find advice on dealing with separation anxiety. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Gloria

Thanks for taking the time to share what is going on with you.

Sounds like you have gotten your anxiety to a manageable level over time. What do you do that works for you?

Maybe this is a good time to ask yourself what type of relationship you want with your parents? I don't have experience with separation anxiety, mine is generalised anxiety which I manage through a range of things. From exercise, eating well, spending time with friends, reading books and meditating.

Work can certainly keep us distracted too. Congratulations on the new job. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to get everything right straight away - even when you have been in the job for a while you won't be perfect. What makes you think that your boss expects you to learn everything straight away? I am sure your boss understands that you are new and just figuring things out. We all start new roles and find them overwhelming but over time you will understand what is required and will enjoy it.

I am sure that someone else can help with your question around separation anxiety.

Blue Jane

[gloria10]

Thanks for answering Blue Jane. Thats a good point to ask what sort of relationship I want with my parents. I must admit I have felt more like myself since they've been gone and I'm allowing myself to feel more. I'm also disappointed with them that I felt there was no consideration for my anxiety while they were away. it felt unfair.

Work has certainly helped keep me distracted, and thanks 🙂 I just get the feeling my boss expects a lot just from certain things they say, its hard to explain. I feel like I am doing well at work, but I have a lot of doubt in my abilities.

As for things to keep me distracted there are certain tv shows that make me feel relaxed and I'm trying to get out on the weekend so I'm not stuck at home. Thanks for your help.

[Blue_Jane]

Great that you are feeling more like yourself.

With work, remember the things that you have done well and reinforce those things when you start to question your abilities. We all need positive reinforcement!