Self-confidence

R_A · ‎13-09-2020

Hello,

I have been struggling a bit lately with catastrophising my future. I am half way through my studies and I constantly am thinking that I will never get a job or that other students are way better than me (which I know I am probably on the same level as everyone else). I have thought about alternatives to if I never get a job after uni and wonder if I will ever be able to get a house or get a job that will support me well enough. Every time my friends joke and stuff about getting married and having kids, I always just think that that is never going to happen to me and that no one would want to be with me.

I also feel as though my friends are only friends with me for the sake of it and that it is just because I am there and they don't actually want to be my friend but they don't know how to cut me off.

I know that these thoughts are irrational but they just flood my mind and its all I can think about and I always turn situations into negatives.

Has anyone else ever thought like this, and if so how did you combat these thoughts?

Thank you!

niko22 · ‎13-09-2020

Hey R. A! I have these thoughts all the time, Usually pertaining to not ever being successful. I am about to start studying psychology and although I have such a deep passion for the subject and have some okay knowledge about it I am over thinking my potential impact and success in the field. having thoughts that I won't do well enough and won't be able to succeed and be able to reach my goals. But when I feel this way I try to tell my self about all the inherent good qualities I have, and I'm sure that you would have too. As humans I think it is natural to always focus on the negative forces in our lives and not the positive ones.

My advice would be to try and focus your energy on your positive traits even if it's just for a couple minutes at times when your feeling negative emotions, if you do this you will be surprised at what the outcome might be!

blondguy · ‎13-09-2020

Hi RA

I understand you as I used to catastrophize the same as yourself and it can be a pain. Being half way through your studies at UNI is a stressful time for any student. Overthinking can be a drain on our well being for sure

You are strong by having the courage to post about your feelings.....and good on you too!

These are common feelings to experience whether at UNI or in our careers after UNI. Fighting or combating these thoughts dont really help

I see an achiever who has succeeded by reaching university in the first place...and you are halfway through your studies. Can I ask if your uni has a counsellor you can talk to? Even if you print this thread and give it to your counsellor will be a huge help to you

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by having a talk 🙂

The forums are a safe and non judgmental place for you to post and any questions are always welcome too!

my kind thoughts

Paul

smallwolf · ‎13-09-2020

Hi ... welcome and "been there!"

the other posters have left good replies. I just thought I would add my experience.

part of my journey has been to bring myself myself back to the present moment when my mind starts racing. I would also have to work on challenging my thought patterns. I had some apps on my phone that helped me do this. I could hunt them down if needed.

finally something my psych told me... that we do not really know what will happen next day or next week.

I know (my own experience) that it can be difficult to change thought patterns and it may feel as though it is not working. It might also be worth while to check-in with a Uni counsellor and see what advice they might give.