Hello Lauriem
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you here.
I wonder if this feeling of non-anxiety is because you have become accustomed to these feelings when certain topics or triggers crop up in your life. It's almost like a security blanket. You know where you are and that it is normal, or at least normal for you. Instead of being able to rejoice in the freedom of not being anxious, the lack of anxiety almost becomes an anxiety mechanism of its own.
When you battled anxiety for many years it does become familiar. To give a different example, I lost a huge amount of weight a while ago. My clothes no longer fitted and as a friend said, "You look as though you are wearing big sister's clothes". The clothes were familiar because I always wore them. It took ages for me to start to buy new clothes and when I realised how much my clothes size had changed I was gobsmacked.
Until then I found it difficult to see myself as a much slimmer person, it was this (to me) amazing difference that suddenly changed my perception of myself. I could accept I had a normal weight. There were many spin-offs from this such as being able to physically do many things that were out of my reach previously.
I wonder if this is similar process for you. With greatly reduced anxiety you do not need to make allowances to recover from thoughts that were distressing etc. In fact your life has changed. You would think we would be only too happy to embrace this but we humans do need time to recognise these sorts of changes and accept they belong to us. I think when you become accustomed to these changes there will be no holding you back.
Many congratulations.
Mary
