School Stress

[Guest_06657012]

I shouldn't be on here. but. It's a last resourt. I have post anxiety, I got over it in about grade 9 but It still lingers, recently I put too much preassure on myself I'm stressed with school work to the point of freaking out in class. My heart pounds so hard when I look at the board and try and do my work because I know how much work I need to do, I get so anxious when talking to people I feel as if all my confidence is drained, so I can't ask anyone for help. I have friends but they are very high achievers and I don't want thier dissapproval of me. I just want to fit in, not be talked about behind my back and have my confidence restored! It dosn't help that my parents can't give me any of their time or attention, I have learned everything on my own, I refuse guidance, and I hate it when people help me, It makes me feel so weak! So this is a verrrry last resort option, I hate sharing my feelings. Can somebody help me? I try so so so hard to be a perfect figure skater, earn a pretty body, keep my grades up, get enough sleep, eat healthy, pray and try and be a fun person, but It drais me to much, I know I should cut back a bit or cut the preassure, But I just reallllly want to break my stupid reputation of being a loser lover girl. I'm much more...

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Thankyou for writing in, many young people learn from posts just like yours.

"I'm much more...". What a powerful last 3 words. After reading all of your post those 3 words gave me inspiration to reply to you, a girl that underneath all those challenges actually believes in herself. Those 3 words is your ticket to being an achiever.

What is an achiever. I'll ask you this- "what is the most important profession in a hospital"? Surgeon? Nurse?, chemist? no... its the cleaner likely someone that doesnt have academic credentials and the reason is- without cleaners we'd have disease spreading all throughout the hospital to visitors and families everywhere. Ever watched a cleaner in a hospital? they are so thorough they clean everything!. That might give you thoughts that academic achievements while important - isnt for everyone. At school my best friend was an A student, I was B, he ended up a multimillionaire but we remained great friends. Sometimes its pointless trying to compete with great minds that were made up of more intelligent genetics. If you do then you are wasting parts of your brain when it could be put to better use- like doing the best YOU can and not competing with friends. Remember- your best is good enough.

So say you have 5 projects to finish by the end of the month. You get overwhelmed by it. It is best to prioritise those projects and put 4 aside and start number one project. Dont rush it but dont waste minutes thinking about other topics like friends, TV etc. Focus. Focus. Focus. Now if you get through 4 projects and run out of time then you know one thing- you did your best and ?  your best is good enough. Then you pat yourself on the back "I did my best".

Focussing on issues that aren't achievable like "getting a better body" can be wasting mind energy and time. Fact- model figures are genetics not girls that dont eat much. So what do you do ? - you again do your best and that means maintaining your body to a reasonable standard by good eating and exercising... those 5 projects you might have? when you finish each project, walk around the block. At the end of 5 projects you've walked 5kms!!.

Life can be so much easier and fulfilling when you know you've tried. Yet life can be sad and frustrating comparing yourself to other people in every way. "The grass is greener on the other side of the fence" is a good saying to remember because, the grass on your side might not look as green but its reachable...

Judging by your post, you are indeed clever and aware- even sensitive. I'm sensitive, but that sensitivity gives me my poetry, music and love for other people, its why I'm here replying to you. Being sensitive has its positives.

TonyWK

[Guest_10120]

I truly apologize for what you're going through. I can just imagine the weight of pressure you are under, which would have been tiring. You do not have to be perfect to deserve respect and love; you try, and that is what counts. Needing help doesn't mean you are weak; you are strong enough to reach out. You are not alone; many love and care about you. In the end, please be gentle with yourself.

[therising]

A very warm welcome to you at such a challenging time in your life, in so many ways.

Viewing life as a landscape means stopping and asking for directions on occasion or asking for guidance. Kind of like 'I have no idea where I am and why I'm struggling through this terrain. Which way do I go from here?'. Guides are key in life, especially ones who've been traveling certain parts of the landscape for years. They can be familiar with parts, including the stressful parts, the confusing parts or dark potentially depressing parts.

Something else that's key is sensitivity. If you can imagine a set of scales, on one side there'll be the things that bring us a sense of joy, a sense of relaxation or relief, a sense of positive excitement and so on. On the other side will be things that we can sense as stressful, perhaps upsetting, maybe time consuming and challenging etc. A sensitive person will sense the scales tipping toward what is stressful, upsetting or challenging. It's important to keep a healthy sense of balance. So, take a particular stressor off the scales and things will balance out again. The question could be 'What can I take off right now, to lighten the load and balance things out?'.

Some people are naturals at certain things. This explains why they can make things we struggle with look so easy. Someone who's a natural at math may cruise through math classes and exams. Someone who's a natural at study will make studying appear effortless. Then there are those who master things through practice. They may have undertaken the practice of good study or homework habits in year 7. So by the time year 12 rolls around, they appear to be masters at studying for exams. After all those years, you'd imagine they'd be good at it. If the 2 of us got on the ice, I'd be slipping all over the place while you'd gracefully glide past me, all based on your practice and my lack of practice. Btw, everyone's a natural at something. I can't help but wonder what your super power is.

With you mentioning taking time to pray, prayer can be a form of meditation. Sometimes it can come down to how we pray or mediate. For example, there is a series of books called 'Conversations With God', by Neale Donald Walsch. In his experience with prayer, he sits in meditation and with an open mind asks a question and then waits for the answer to come to mind. For him, prayer is not a one way channel, it's a two way channel or connection. Maybe you're a natural at this type of meditation and you just don't know it yet. For example, if you asked in prayer 'How can I manage or cope with everything right now?' and what suddenly came to mind was 'Try the Beyond Blue forums', the question was answered. 🙂