Rusty

[Rusty]

I am dealing with depression, anxiety and loneliness. I am working on connecting with other people and just visited a neighbour and had a nice chat and felt quite good, but I came home and began to feel lonely again. I’m curious to know if anyone has had this happen to them or felt this way and maybe some tips to overcome this?

[Rustyswingset]

Hi Rusty, just wanted to add that something that helps me a lot with negative self talk is imagining saying those things to five year old me. I recoil from it because it's just a kid wanting to explore, love, have fun and play. That kid isn't unworthy, or unlovable. I often find a lot of the thoughts I have when I'm at my most vulnerable; ie. 'what's wrong with me?', 'i miss cuddling someone', 'am i doing something wrong?', 'but what if --- happens?', all sound like they could come from a kid who needs reassurance from an adult. So i imagine what I'd do if a little kid version of me came to me with those questions and I do that for myself. Reassuring myself, finding a safe space like a garden, comfortable chair, getting a cup of milo, finding a teddy or animal to cuddle, playing a favorite show, or anything else that might have given me comfort as a kid. It's a lot harder to hate yourself when you consider yourself from the perspective of just a grown up kid who still needs a bit of help and reassurance sometimes. hope that helps, I got it from my counselor at some point.

[Rusty]

Hi Ggrand

Nice to hear from you. I’m certainly am feeling somewhat better today, mainly a good nights sleep but it’s good to hear some nice advice.

I hope you have some are able to get out and interact with people again, I certainly know that lonely feeling.

Take care

[Rusty]

Hi Rustyswingset

Thank you for the reply. A lot of what you said does resonate with me. It does make sense and certainly think it can help me.

[Happylife]

Hi Rusty,

Happy to know that you are feeling better and had a good night's sleep. It's really good to know you are doing Tai Chi and volunteering, that's a great way to connect with people.

When you are home alone and feel lonely, would you like to try and learn a new language or a new skill to keep your mind occupied? There's a lot of free online courses you can try if you are interested.

If you still feel lonely maybe speak to your doctor, they might help you uncover any underlying causes of loneliness and give you some strategies for coping with loneliness in a healthy way.

Here to support if you want to chat more...

Take care

Happylife

[Rusty]

Hi Happylife

Thanks for the advice. I am seeing the doctor again this week and may discuss the underlying causes. I am the point where I know I’m doing well but finding it difficult to believe there is an end to the pain of loneliness, part of me thinks it will never end.

[Rusty]

Well I thought I’d just check. I’m managing to get by day to day. It’s still a difficult struggle feeling so lonely, but I still have hope that I can eventually make some strong connections. Just thought I’d share where I’m at.

[Ggrand]

Hi Rusty,

Its nice for you to check in, I think all we can do is to try hard to pass each day the best we can….I go days without talking to anyone, except my 2 dogs and then here on the forums….I am lucky that I have 1 friend in my small town and a neighbour that I can drop in for a coffee when I want to, but my neighbour is a very loud and controlling person (but is kind hearted as well) who at times can trigger me….so I don’t go over unless she asks me, then I feel obligated to do so….my friend is elderly so only a daily check in is done by me…

I like watching the game shows on tv in the afternoon….Finish Line, Lingo, Tipping Point etc…unfortunately those are the highlights of my day….hmm, my life is not at all exciting, but like you trying to get through each day without dropping down further into depression…to me that’s a successful day…

My kindest thoughts Dear Rusty, and I wish you a peaceful day..🤗🦋 🌈..

Grandy..

[Psychdiaries2]

Hi again Rusty,

I know you mentioned you volunteer in the community which is great to hear, but have you had the opportunity to connect or make friends with anyone there? I know friends are not easy to make and it takes awhile. Perhaps you could find hobbies/activities to do at home to keep you occupied? Like cooking a new recipe, gardening, could be anything. 

Take care of yourself and you are always welcome here on the forums

[Rusty]

Hi Psychdiaries2
I have enjoyed volunteering and doing Tai Chi but as I have only started in the last month or so I really haven’t made real connections or friends yet. The unfortunate thing at the moment is that the anxiety can be so bad sometimes the hobbies or things I enjoy doing just don’t do it for me. It is really hard at the moment and finding it difficult. Sometimes it gets to me thinking about how long it could take to be happy and have great connections with people 

[Alikiwi]

Hi Rusty,

Just wondering how you're doing. All quiet here, so nothing has changed. Hopefully you've kept yourself busy.