Rusty

[Rusty]

I am dealing with depression, anxiety and loneliness. I am working on connecting with other people and just visited a neighbour and had a nice chat and felt quite good, but I came home and began to feel lonely again. I’m curious to know if anyone has had this happen to them or felt this way and maybe some tips to overcome this?

[Michy007]

Hi Rusty, I just saw your message (notification). I understand how tough the mental challenges can be. Loneliness has been a big one for me (living alone), yet things improving over time. 
I'd offer some suggestions yet I'd need to understand what's going on for you right now. What do you believe are your biggest challenges atm? 
Yet of course I also understand when truly depressed, it can be hard to find the energy to even talk about everything. If you wish to talk, I'm happy to reply- if I can assist in some way
Cheers
Michelle

[Rusty]

Hi Michelle 

Thanks for the reply. Recently I have been doing pretty good, doing volunteering, being part of groups like tai chi etc, and good things like getting some extra work to help financially. It has just been in the last several weeks that I have been feeling things not going well. I think it’s just a culmination of a few things happening that have upset me or brought up emotional memories or triggers. Someone recently past away who was a part of a group I volunteer with, and just some other things not going the way I had planned. Even though I am slowly feeling a connection with people I still feel quite alone.

Thanks again for the reply 

Russell

[Michy007]

Hi Russell, 
I can relate to those feelings, even when we invest time (effort even) making new connections, friendships. 
Losing someone who meant something, even just knowing someone- can trigger those feelings. 
Can swing from feeling at ease, even content mostly to- not feeling so good suddenly. 
I'd like to chat more, so you at least know I understand, and why I believe I understand. On top of personal struggles, many now face cost of living crisis- some barely getting by. There have been many changes in life, how we live over time. The feeling of community and connections, can feel less and less at times. Anyhow happy to chat more tomorrow now. I'm just a bit tired tonight now, work in morning.
I'm also someone who likes real chats, talking about challenges (finding ways to overcome), not just my own (I'm doing ok atm) so happy to chat more as I say. Anyhow take care for now. I hope to chat more later tomoz- possibly tomoz evening now. Cheers, Michelle

[Rusty]

Hi Michelle 

Thanks for chatting, it’s nice to know someone wants to understand and help. 
cheers Russell 

[Michy007]

Hi Russell, how are you doing today?
For me one of the biggest challenges in life (past few years now) has been living alone. Being alone and living alone. I moved to a somewhat remote area, compared to anything I've been used to before. I did so as I needed to buy something, with the money I had. Not wanting the pressure of renting, moving into the future. 
I have a dog, needed a yard + work space for the work I do (flipping furniture). There have been just too many challenges. Can take time to make true connections. I've done it many times in life, have moved a lot, travelled a lot, just not recently. I have no family, siblings estranged (nasty stuff there). Parents died a few years ago now. No kids (long story that one- as is my life a long story).  They say life is what you make it, yet not always so easy- sometimes there are just very real things in the way (ie. income)- can't do much to get ahead on a fairly low income these days, once paying bills. And so I have felt stuck too much of the time (ie. hard to move fwd, get away/hols ...) just never have the $$ to do things many others do often, plus I have animals (2) and also hard to get away for that reason. Expecting friends to mind animals is not realistic, most friends are busy with work and their lives, plus have commitments- elderly parents etc. Yet note, my animals aren't the problem- I can't imagine not having them in my life, animals are great companions, just can't have much of a convo with them! 
I hadn't intended to go on about my life so much, just explaining some of my challenges, figured you may be able to relate to some of it. I've also had challenges with my work/biz, given the economy in the longer term now. People are still spending money, yet have pulled right back on spending in general. 
I believe it is somewhat 'normal' to feel lonely, when we know that to be true. I personally believe a lot of the 'disconnect feeling' comes from a lot of changes in life- technology possibly no. 1. We have lost our true sense of community overall. Once apon a time, growing up, many of us knew our neighbours, talked to neighbours in the street- knew everyone in the street. These days, majority just want to keep to themselves, only interested in their own lives (immediate family and friends).  I'm generally a friendly type of person, stop and chat to total strangers, just random, when out at shops, park walking with doggo etc. In summary, this lifestyle where I live now, isn't really a good fit, yet I continue to just try and make it work. Things are much better atm, yet it has taken a very long time, and my mental health has taken a beating often enough. I miss living closer to the water, closer to things I like to do. It's a decent drive to get to the water now, hard to block in time to do a lot of stuff I like doing. There have been many other setbacks living in a country area (this area), won't gointo all of it.
In saying all the above, of course I'm incredibly grateful for all I have, many doing it very tough out there. I guess as I got older I expected things to become a tad easier, yet that isn't the case. And I also say that because I work with a couple of elderly clients (casual work- min hrs). Most people I talk to these days are having to live a lesser life these days (make do with less than ever before). Health, cost of living + paying rent, hard to save anything, and difficult being able to afford essential medical appointments/treatment.   
Anyhow I can talk till the cows come home mostly, yet in summary, I'm doing quite ok atm, yet it's clear to see how we have so many challenges these days. Technology advancements good in some ways, not so good in others. And so, yes that was a long one. If you feel like chatting about what you believe are biggest challenges for you, I'm happy to chat more. 
A psychologist once said to me years ago, depression is like looking at life through shi& coloured glasses, and that is just so true. Anyhow happy to chat more soon if you'd like to
Cheers
Michelle

[Rusty]

Hi Michelle 

Thanks for the reply and sharing. I am feeling a a bit better this afternoon as good news about upcoming work which helps take away some of the stress/ anxiety financially. A lot you said seems to fit with me. I have a dog also which is great, I am grateful that I do have family who can look after her when I want to go away. 
I do a number of volunteering roles which in a way is great with meeting up with people, having said that, I do find it connect possibly because I’m am introverted. I still enjoy being around people and do enjoy those volunteer roles but I do feel quite alone especially when I’m home by myself. 
Part of my feels like there is something missing, like there is no point or I’m just doing things just for the sake of it. Being single too I sometimes feel I would love to have someone special in my life but sometimes feels like that will never happen.

Anyway some good news today regards to work which is good and has given me some hope for better things in the immediate future.

Thank you for chatting 

Russell

[Michy007]

Hey Russell, that's great news re work! and yeah I can relate. Every time I sell something it feels like winning the lottery these days! 
And as they say, small wins eh. It often doesn't take much, for there to be a positive shift sometimes. Just keep doing what  you're doing, it seems to be working eh 🙂
And feel free to chat more anytime- I normally reply unless I'm having a busy week. I quite like chatting to friends (even new friends) for a bit by the evening
Cheers
Michelle

[Rusty]

Hi Michelle 

It is good to feel like I’ve had a win. I takes some of the anxiety away and I can look at some of the other issues I like to deal with like feeling alone. Having the win with work has given me some confidence to look at the what I can do to not feel so alone and how to connect better with people.

Hope your going well 

Cheers 

Russell

[Michy007]

Hi Russell, I've had a slow day, not feeling 100% atm. Could have caught up with friends, yet haven't had the energy for doing much- bit run down atm. Pottering around home was all I could manage today. And that's ok, because sometimes we have to listen to our body and mind. The days have been nice though. 
And yeah, that lonely feeling can be an ongoing challenge, just have to keep on with it- try to find ways to find outlets. It's great you've been doing the volunteer stuff. Even volunteering can help with feeling 'some purpose.' I'm ok atm, yet well aware of how it can feel at times. 
Where I live (region) there are regular dog walks. I don't go to many, a bit far to drive with many, yet mentioning should you have something available in your area (believe you said you haev a dog). I enjoy it when I go, walking with fellow dog people (walks are all on lead), just hard finding the time atm
Anyhow hope your w/end has been good- feeling a bit better about things at least 🙂

[Rusty]

Hi Michelle 

The weather has been good here so good for walking my dog. I have a few things to look forward to during the week which helps a bit as well as just taking some time for myself and getting some things done at home. Sometimes the anxiety and loneliness seems never ending but I’m always looking at how I can deal with it.

Hope you continue to feel better