Hi alwaysstressing,
Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here! I really appreciate you joining us.
I don't think you're a horrible person - because horrible people don't tend to think about their consequences or join forums for support 😉
It does sound like there's a lot of anxiety there, but it's hard to know without knowing more about you whether there's something else going on or where this might be coming from. Often with anxiety it's this constant fear, so even if your partner might say the right thing or be honest with you, in your mind it still doesn't settle it so you get mad? Does that add up to you?
