Retirement Blues

[roogirl]

Hello,

Wondering if you ever get used to being retired? It's been almost a year now since I retired and I'm still going through an adjustment period, feeling all over the shop and my anxiety is none too happy I can tell you. I'm involved in other things such as voluntary work and walking group, but not the same as working full time 5 days a week. I don't miss my job as such, but the routine and being needed I guess. I live alone and have done for many years (divorced) and have never felt lonely before, but I do now and feel quite isolated at times. I have supportive family and friends, but they also have their own lives. I'm considering moving to a retirement village where I may not feel quite so alone. I will do my research thoroughly before making any long term decisions. Anyone else out there who has been down this road, I would like any opinions on how you have coped or are coping.

Roogirl

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hey there Roogirl,

I work with retirees and pre-retirees in my profession. This topic comes up a lot in my discussions with them & it’s a very common subject.

Everyone is really excited to be finishing work and to commence a new phase in their life, but after a little while it becomes a bit monotonous and boring (their words!)

in my discussions with people they have found that actually going to a place of employment gave them a sense of purpose and that they were contributing in some way.

You’re volunteering which is excellent! this provides human interaction and a sense of accomplishment.

The retirement village is another, which you have touched on, this is important as it provides companionship with like minded people.

Travel is also another good one, day trips or short trips to the coast.

I hope this is helpful

- happygoluckymiss

[PamelaR]

Hi Roogirl

Welcome back. I think hunk we’ve talked before. Yes, you’re so right about retirement and needing something to feel fulfilled with.

I retired 18 mths ago. Had a fall a couple of months in which set off my anxiety then depression. That’s when I joined beyondblue.

12 months on and all is okay. Except for worries about physical health that sets off anxiety.

I think I’m very lucky to be married to a wonderful person. He’s retired too. We have shared interests as well as individual ones.

Travel is really good if you can afford it. Though I think it’s feasible to get involved with a local group that does ‘mystery ‘ trips plus other trips that can be cost affective.

We’ve thought about a retirement village but think we are still too young 🙂

i’ve found Making a plan for the week ahead is always good. Appointments, engagements, outings, stuff to get done around the house.

then volunteering. I have two roles. One that keeps me as busy as I want to be and the other a regular set time.

I’m really happy. I love being at home with hubby and felines. We have no kids, therefore no grandkids but neighbourhood kids are awesome.

hope some of this helps roogirl.

You’re not alone.

kind regards

PamelaR

[White_Rose]

Hello Roogirl

Retirement is often seen as a wonderful adventure, a time when we can do as we please (money permitting), be more relaxed about everything and simply having a good time. Of course it is not like that and after the honeymoon period we can lose our way.

We are creatures of habit and like to have a regular routine. Not having that framework can leave us wondering what it is all about. For so many years our worth has been as a productive member of society. Suddenly we are not in that position and we begin to question our worth.

Taking on volunteer roles is great as it gives us back a sense of purpose and being respectable. We have a lot to offer in the volunteer world. After all we have held a job for many years. Think about the sorts of things you want to do, either as a volunteer or just for yourself. I am a member of a book club. I need to read the chosen book in a month and think about why I like it or not. There is the social aspect of meeting with others and giving your brain a work out. I have several activities of this nature.

How did you feel about living in a retirement village before you retired? I retired 18 years ago and find I am happy living on my own (generally) and having a routine to my day. It's up to each of us to make that routine. Helping at an animal shelter, writing your life story, learn to paint or play a musical instrument.You can become so engrossed in these activities that they take over your life and need a firm commitment and boundaries to stop swamping yourself.

It is about doing those things you have dreamed of and allowing yourself to become involved. There are times when I wonder how I fitted in my day job. University of the third age also offers courses on a variety of topics which I'm told are stimulating and rewarding.

Keep looking and enjoy being master of your own destiny.
Mary

[Guest_2496]

Hi roogirl

It's been two years for me and I'm still all over the shop! Some days/weeks better than others but currently anxiety level is high and having some panic attacks. Not all due to retirement of course but I haven't really picked up from it...

I didn't actually mean to retire - left work badly and quickly (bullying etc going on) and didn't get a job soon after then haven't really looked for a while. I do some volunteering but it's mostly solitary.

Started 2019 with the intention of having a great year and getting back out there! Just struggling a bit with it at the moment though...

sigh

[roogirl]

Thanks for the words of encouragement happygoluckymiss. I'll keep plodding on and hopefully it will all come together sooner rather than later.

Cheers and thanks

Roogirl

[roogirl]

H PamelaR,

Yes we have spoken before and it's lovely to ear from you again. I know in the end that I will adjust to this new phase in my life, it's just taking some getting used too. Thought I was prepared, but maybe not so much. In terms of the retirement village, the one I'm looking at is for over 55's and that appeals to me even though I'm in my late 60's myself. I think this type of village which I have visited twice now gives a good range in age and the people living there seem happy. However, I'm not making any rash decisions and doing my research thoroughly to see if it's for me.

Once again thanks for the kinds words

Roogirl (Glenda)

[Happygoluckymiss]

Roogirl

Thank you for the lovely compliment! I love working with retirees and it’s a passion of mine. Most undervalued Australian resource in my humble opinion. Please check back as I’ll be thinking of you

take care !

- happygoluckymiss

[roogirl]

Hi Mary,

Thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement. I intend to get involved this year in a local neighbourhood house that are offering courses I'm interested in. Unfortunately, U3A courses that I'm interested in a filled very quickly. I will also continue with my voluntary work which I enjoy. I will get there eventually, but as my psychologist has pointed out this is a huge adjustment period in my life for me.

The retirement village I'm interested in is in a regional city in Victoria where I have always wanted to retire too. I also have cousins there who are my age and I'm very close to them. I have visited the over 55 village twice now and like the feel of the place. However, I will do my research thoroughly before any decisions are made. I also have my children here and grand-children, so that's a big consideration for me also. As this would be hopefully my last move, I have to make sure it's the right one and that I will be happy.

Once again Mary, many thanks

Glenda

[roogirl]

Hi anxious_me,

So sorry to hear you're feeling low at the moment. I know how you feel, I have good days and bad days and the bad days feel pretty awful. I retired because I thought it was time, I'm in my late 60's and was feeling very tired and burnt out. If I could have worked 2 or 3 days a week, I would have stayed, but that was not what management wanted. I thought I was prepared, had a plan etc, but of course it all went wrong as these things often do. My psychologist has told me I'm going through an adjustment period in my life and it is very hard at times. I often feel isolated from others even though I have supportive family and friends. However, they have their own lives and I have to commence a new one and it ain't easy.

We'll keep on keeping on I guess. I hope you are feeling better really soon. I'm going to join a course at one of my local neighbourhood houses next week as well as my voluntary work and see how that goes. Hopefully, a light will appear at the end of the tunnel for us both really soon.

Thanks and good luck

Roogirl