The warmest of welcomes to you at a time in your life where you're questioning a lot more deeply, in order to be able to move forward in more liberating and constructive ways.
As Tony mentions, getting a sense of what the anger is about can make a big difference, such as with other people's behaviours, addictions, attitudes and more. Personally, I've also found what makes a difference relates to how I define anger. It's only in recent times that I've come to realise anger is not an emotion in itself. What I mean is it defines a level of emotion. For example, I can feel a basic level of frustration, an agitating level of frustration or an angering level of frustration. Same goes for other emotions. A basic level or sense of disappointment, resentment, self entitlement from others etc or an angering level of all those things. So, the question comes down to 'What am I experiencing an angering level of ?'. While that can be about the volume or amount of emotion we're feeling, frequency can be another factor.
A little bit of frustration on the odd occasion can be easily managed. A little bit of frustration today, tomorrow and every day that follows is a whole other story. It can really start to chip away at us over time until those raw nerves are exposed. Before you know it, your partner doing something or not doing something fairly basic can begin to hit a nerve here and there based on how frequently this happens.
A 3rd factor I've found that comes into play relates to whether I've developed the skills, abilities or self understanding that's needed to manage my emotions and what triggers them. How did my mum manage anger? How did my dad manage anger? How was I taught to manage anger or high level emotions? The short answer is 'I wasn't taught how to strategically manage'. As a 56yo gal, I've had to gradually learn how to manage it and I can say it definitely starts with questioning it. That's a good start. Give yourself credit. You're off to a good start. Questioning can lead to much needed revelations.
