reassurance

[caitie0]

Hi,

I am new too this and need some confirmation that everything I am feeling is that I am not going mad.

About 3 months ago I started having bad anxiety ( thought I was really sick ) I have never really had anxiety like this in my life and it stressed out more as I didn't know why it was happening so I worried about all the things I was feeling. At the height of it I had the shakes, wasn't eating, hot/cold, heat pounding, hyper and really tired, bad insomnia elbows/jaw would feel weird numb, just felt absolutely awful have never felt like that in my life, felt like I was going crazy and was really struggling.

Since I have managed to calm down more ( Am going to see a psychologist ) I am still struggling about whether what I am feeling is normal, my heart still has palpitations often enough ( its driving me boncers and what bothers me though most ) seems worse when I wake up, getting stomach aches, sometimes my chest feels tight like after doing a work out. I guess I worry that it is not the anxiety, I suppose I go around in a bit of a circle.
I used to be able to relax quiet well, now I have trouble relaxing and just getting into my reading or whatever else.

I think my anxiety is just caused by stress and hoping I am just having a "moment" but just struggling whether what I am feeling is anxiety.

[Starwolf]

Hi Caitie,

Thanks for letting us know your situation has eased. You are doing the right things and thinking the right thoughts. Recovery cannot proceed unless we acknowledge and accept what we are and the issues we are facing.These make life difficult enough without adding denial and resentment to the equation.

Depression and anxiety are multi-faceted disorders. It makes sense that the best way to manage them must also target all aspects of our life, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual (for those of us who believe there's more to us than body and mind).

Well done for tackling the problem on several fronts.

[caitie0]

Thanks guys

Today I am not feeling as great, not awful but not the best, I just feel like my anxiety is quiet constant and since it started I haven't felt like my old self again. Is it normal for it to be quiet constant, i feel like I feel all these psychical symptoms, I am also go to bed a just fall asleep straight away but within an hour or 2 or being awake i am yawning and feeling very tired again.

[ac1991]

Let me first say welcome, this place is great when you're in need of advice - so you've got the right idea!

I know exactly how you feel in terms of not knowing wether you were just going insane, or if there was actually a problem. For months I questioned my sanity and at the time, when my OCD became more aggressive and advanced I had no idea what was going on because the symptoms, thoughts and feelings were so foreign to me. Don't get me wrong, I have been suffering these for years, but only then did they become more than a subconscious thing. The worst thing you can do is not tell anybody out of fear they'll tell you you're going mad - if you're already talking about it with a psychologist, you're on your way. Bottling things up really does have an impact on you emotionally and physically - like you with the stomach aches, I ended up in the emergency room last year due to such intense stomach pains. I didn't know it at the time, but it was caused by anxiety. Just know you are not alone, and there are strategies to cope! Things that often work for me when i'm feeling anxious can be watching a movie, something that really takes your mind off things and can even make you laugh. Listening to music while drawing or painting, talking to close friends who always offer award winning advice, or even doing something that makes it impossible to think (taking a shift at work, rearranging or cleaning my room). I wish you the best of luck, and stay strong 🙂

[Starwolf]

Hi Caitie,

Depression and anxiety are like that, highs and lows and also plateaus where nothing much seems to happen. Just a general blerk feeling...sometimes no feeling at all, just numbness. The condition comes and goes in waves. Diving under the worst ones to let them wash over is the safest way to go. They will pass.

Please take care of yourself, indulge whatever distraction appeals to you enough to hold your interest. Anxiety is exhausting, more so when we stress about it and approach it in fighting mode. Calm acceptance and the willingness to take small steps do help. So does deleting negative thoughts before they take hold and replacing them with a positive version.

You have already made brave decisions to help you manage the situation. Celebrate each victory, no matter how small, give yourself a well deserved pat on the back. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself you're doing well, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Thinking of you.

[caitie0]

Thanks guys for replying

I was wondering can you have anxiety symptoms without thinking/feeling anxious can you subconsciously ?

Last night my heart was going through the roof pounding, but I didn't think i felt anxious, could've been stress.

[Starwolf]

Hi Caitie,

Anxiety physical symptoms can still affect you even when you're not feeling anxious. Since your ECG came back clear, I guess it is what's happening.

I remember lying in bed, feeling calm and tired but not being able to fall asleep because I could hear/feel my heartbeats reverberating through the mattress and pillow. It used to scare the living daylights out of me. Nothing wrong with asking for another ECG if it will reassure you. I ended up going for a couple myself, as the symptoms were so obnoxious that I didn't trust the first results. A second opinion or test may be just what you need to make sure all is well and restore peace of mind.

Have a good day.

[caitie0]

Thanks Starwolf does make me feel a bit better

I think I am a bit stressed as well which is probably why my anxiety started as this is only recent, the last two days I have been feeling really almost back to my old self, then tonight I decided to have a drink I don't drink a lot, only had one can,felt normal until a bit later went to have a shower and had that doom/scary feeling in my chest like I had to catch my breath all the sudden, now I'm aware of my heart again, bit annoying as I felt like I was getting to the end of it ( I hoped ) the last two days, guess I just have to keep going.

i try not to worry about it as even if there was something wrong what can I do? I couldn't magically make it better anyway so what can I do other then keep going and try to relax again

[Starwolf]

Hi Caitie,

Alcohol is a depressant, so it usually aggravates symptoms.

Unfortunately, depression and anxiety cannot be made to disappear but they can be managed. Your positive attitude helps you do a great job of it. You're right, relaxing and pleasant distractions are the way to go...

I hope today is a better day for you and wish you a good week-end.

[caitie0]

For the last couple weeks ago I have been not too bad, the last two days have been mostly good then tonight I get this weird feeling in my chest I don't know how to explain it, and suddenly I can't breath for a second then go back to normal, has happened a few times this evening.

Earlier today I went down the beach and walked back up the stairs and my heart and palpitations were really up quickly even though walking up stairs was hard didn't feel like I should've felt that so quickly.

Now I am freaked out but I don't feel anxious as I have in previous months, but I guess I am because I'm worrying.

i am worried there is something wrong with my heart and this seems to be my fixation, I have had ecg done came back find, the doctor listened to my heart for a while last time I was there and got my bloods done to check my thyroid and wants me to do 24hr holster monitor to make sure. I had it booked in today but now I have to go to a funeral tomorrow so could not return and isn't booked in until next week.

The feeling of loss of breath really scares me now I am imagining the worst, I also just sometimes don't feel right in my head ( just odd feeling somethings wrong or feel like I should faint but I never do, not like weakness, just a odd feeling )

I guess the worrying in anxiety even though I don't feel anything like I had in the past 😕 I am feeling a bit upset

[caitie0]

Edit: have managed to calm myself down, doesn't help thinking about it anyway and unwind get any sleep continueing to do so