Quitting a fantastic job opportunity due to anxiety

[A_new_day]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I have had a diagnosis of anxiety for roughly 12 years.

I have been studying the last 3 years at university, and thought once finished and receiving a good job offer, I would be able to cope. I am one week i (yes it is a short time only) but I find myself unable to cope with the pressures of the job. I applied for this specific job 6 months ago, as I thought if I got offered the job - this would proove to myself I am able to achieve anything, as it was highly competitive. The working week is 4 shifts, with a combination of late and earlies, each week with a different roster. I have had issues in all aspects of my life, such as eating and sleeping for the last 2 months knowing I was starting this job. I really thought I could do it, and was so proud to gain the position when I found out late 2020. Originally, I wanted to start off with a part time job, perhaps 2-3 shifts a week maximum, and in a different work environment that is less pressure than a hospital. However, as I got closer to finishing my degree my confidence kept growing, and I thought this will be an excellent challenge I can excell in. I have so far found the job area to be very disorganised a lack of support, even when I am showing constant initiative.

My GP whom I see monthly, has discussed with me his concerns of me working this many hours a week, as my psychologist and psychiatrist believe 20 hours a week should be my maximum.

Up until starting this job, I have been working casually 6-8 hours a week since uni finished in september last year. I have held 2 jobs for 2 years, which I thoroughly enjoy.

I rang in sick to work Friday as I really needed to gather my thoughts - my "gut" has said from the start, this isn't right for me. I feel very embarrassed and confused, but at this stage believe the best thing would be to return to my previous jobs, and increase my hours.

I don't know how to talk to my partner about how I am feeling, he is very supportive of me, and we got engaged 3 weeks ago. I do not rely on him financially in any aspect, but am worried if I quit, he will think he will have to, or if he will think there is something wrong with me for leaving a job so soon. I am currently on NDIS for my anxiety. I have also been working out at the gym everyday for 6 months, in an effort to improve my mental health and become ready for the long working hours.

I only have until 11am Monday the 21/2 to let my employer know my wishes.

[quirkywords]

A new day

welcome. To the forum. sometimes it takes a while fir a post to be answered but it is no reflection on you or your post.

It must me so disappointing that your new fantastic job is so hard for you despite trying so much to make it work.

Could you try talking to your partner as he would have seen how this new job is affecting you.

Your doctor psychiatrist and psychologist all think the hours are too long for you.

I can relate to you having a goal for this dram job but the reality being too hard.

I wanted to be a teacher and studied as a mature student and did casual work before getting a job for 2 terms in a country school 2 hours from my family. after one term the principal decided it wasn’t working as I was so tired and I agreed. I found it hard and I was upset and felt I had let myself down but realised casual teaching a few times a week was better suited for me.
I am not sure if you have made a decision. It let us know if you like what you decided.

All the best

quirky.

[A_new_day]

Hi Quirky 🙂

Sorry I have not been on here after the first couple days of posting.

Thank you for the reply - I truly appreciate your reply! Thank you for such an understanding response -- I decided to leave the job, after having a chat with my manager in person.

I now have another job lined up doing nursing in peoples homes --- which was always what I wanted to do e.g. picking my own hours and clients. I pushed myself to work in the hospital as it is the "norm" to apply for hospital work as a registered nurse. I am much happier not working there. My health team have been very supportive, as has my partner.

[dReM]

I hope I am reading this right - as a good news story, a good outcome!

I am a health professional too... I've spent 15 years trying to get it right. All I've been able to work out so far is that I prefer locum/temp work. I just come in, work for the clients and leave. All of the regular workplace/management nonsense doesn't exist and I think it suits me better.
The down side is that I would prefer the security of a proper, regular job... but I'll keep working on this.

Hope you have truly found the right fit for you!

[blondguy]

Hi A.new.day

You are very strong for understanding how 'anxiety works' and yes it is horrible to have. As you know people have varying levels of anxiety health issues. I understand your situation

I kept accepting promotions in the private sector after after having anxiety for the same period of time as yourself (13+ Years) and it really hurts when we are achievers by nature

My own anxiety condition exacerbated after taking the promotions. I wish I had your common sense/foresight!

After many years I learned 'if our anxiety has a detrimental impact on our ability to function effectively on a daily basis' it may be a good call to lower the demands we place on ourselves whether in our work or private lives

Note:....Your GP is spot on

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Ultimate_Worrier]

Same here. Money is nice but I'm paying for those promotions now!

[Truetomyself]

Hi A.new.day. Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds a lot like mine except I don't have a the partner. I have had anxiety, depression,complex PTSD, trauma and struggle on a daily basis. I use to push myself beyond my limits to prove I could do my dream job but I ended up doing more damage to my mental health. I honestly would listen to your health professionals, They know you and what is right for you.
It's hard to give up your dream job I know. And talk to your partner you are a team and I am sure they will understand. I learnt the hard way that your health is more important then a position. You will get there and all the best.

[littlepenguin]

A new day, I am so happy to hear that you made a decision and I really hope you feel the better for it. Sometimes we really need to sit down and work out what our stress triggers are ... what is ging to make our anxiety worse and what we need in a job to make us happy, this is what I try to do. I am in a similar situation to you now. I have struggled with generalised anxiety disorder since I was a teenager, stemming from growing up very poor with a single mum who was very very sick most of her life and ended with her death when I was 15, she was schizophrenic and I feel mental illness is definitely in the family. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I am a nurse myself in the veterinary area... I have always wanted to push myself after 12 years of nursing to go into refereral medicne , I have landed a job at a specialist clinic..... but my anxiety is through the roof, the place is disroganised and I am dealing with chemothrepay drugs and placing chemotherapy catheters and handling these medications and adminsitering them on a daily basis and managing complex anaesthesias as well.... I feel I should be able to do it, the knowledge is there , I feel this should be the next step for me.......but..... every morning I am nauseous sometimes I throw up.... I am starting to triple even quadruple check everything at work, I can't relax.... I feel I could be better off back in GP but I feel this is taking a step down... however .... I think this will be what is best for my mental health .... I know now this is the most important thing. It is so hard when you have work towards a moment and then to realise it may not be a good fit... I am just trying to work up the courage to leave.... and to accept the fact that not working in a specialist hispital as a sepecialist nurse is ok. Thank you for your post and I am really happy you are in a better role now more suited to you. Good Luck!!!!!

[ThomasJakeLim]

Acknowledging what suits you is so important. It takes alot of courage. We are conditioned to feel we need to fit in...more hours...more pay....more promotions...all about more but till what end? Taking on an amount of work that suits you is vital. Congrats on completing your studies. It ain't easy.