PTSD anxiety stress and depression

[Guest_9264]

Hi everyone

I have been suffering for as long as I can remember.

I have never seeked help or spoken to anybody about my problems but it’s become too overwhelming and can’t help but think life would be so much easier if I wasn’t around any longer I mean this feeling just won’t go away and I just want to be at peace.

im engaged to a beautiful lady who knows some of what I’m going through but not all. I am embarrassed hate attention and don’t like talking about my feelings. If not for my fiancé I fear I would have don’t something stupid.

I really think it’s time I get help but don’t believe anything can help me.

anyone who can relate or have useful advice would be most appreciated.

thanks for listening.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Paul92, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you've chosen to reach out today and share your story with us. We understand how difficult it can be to talk about our feelings and open up to others, so thank you for having the strength to do so. 
If you feel comfortable, would you share with us more about your situation? We're so sorry to hear you feel life would be easier if you were'nt around. If may feel this way now but please know you won't always feel this way, these thoughts will pass. We think its great that you're wanting support and advice to get you through this time. 

We'd recommend you read through our website to learn about the different types of mental health disorders and the various treatment options available: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts
If counseling or therapy is something you're interested in, our wepage has lots of information about the process: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 
They will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

[Ggrand]

Hello Paul92...

A very warm welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums..

We are so pleased that you reached out here..We know that it is hard to make your first post..well done..

Paul...I am so pleased that you want to get help for yourself..

I can hear in your words the love you have for your beautiful fiancé....and that she has help you some..

Struggling with mental health is so hard to “fix” ourself without professional help...You have taken a huge step posting here..I’m wondering if you could take another huge step and reach out to your gp...they are very understanding with mental health and will set you up on a mental health Care Plan....where you will get I think 10 sessions with a psychologist who can help you towards your journey to wellness....

I used to think that no one or nothing would help me...I was wrong, having a trained person to talk you through your struggling helps so much...You could if you wanted to (it’s up to you) also have your beautiful fiancé go with you...to help her to understand your struggling and learn with you different coping strategies....If it’s too hard to talk about your feeling..you can also if it feels better for you...write out on a piece of paper your feelings, thoughts ect and hand it to your GP or once a MHCP has been organised..you could hand it to your psychologist....It’s very hard the first appointment but so very worth it..

We /you can get peace and have a wonderful life with you fiancé...Not being around any longer, isn’t the answer... It causes so much devastation to the ones left behind..it’s the pain you want to end..not your life..

Please Paul..I’m urging you so much to reach out to your GP....it really is worth it...You have a wonderful life ahead of you...with your fiancé...

Talk here anytime you feel up to it dear Paul...many others will pop in from time to time to chat with you..their are so many people here who are going through similar struggles..you are not alone...we are here to try to guide you, Talk you through the feeling and struggling your going through..

Kind thoughts with care..

Grandy..

[Guest_9264]

Thanks for your reply.

i really don’t know where to start.

I was abused as a young child and confused about who I am. I have never felt normal I do my best to try and fit in and live a normal life. Watching my parents fight at a very young age I always tried to protect my mum standing upto my dad causing him to dislike me.

i smoke pot to calm myself but realised it worsens my anxiety but now I’m addicted

i have started a new job as a arborist which I love but feel like quitting because I feel like I’m not good enough and embarrassed to try when people are watching me. But none of it shows I do a great job hiding all my problems but I feel it all inside 24/7.

I can go on all day my brain is a mess

[Guest_9264]

Thanks for your message Grandy,

your reply made me go to the bathroom and silently cry. It’s great to know there are good people out the who generally care.

I have been really considering speaking to my gp and think I will definitely have a chat with them thank you so much for your help.

[Ggrand]

Thank you so much for getting back to me..I was so happy to hear that you will speak to your GP...They will help you release the pent up emotions inside of you...I have a strong belief in you, that you can do this..because you have a want..to get well for you and your beautiful fiancé...

Being abused so young in life..idk it seems to embed in us so deeply and it’s hard to release that hurt and confusion..I know this because I was abused as a young child, felt so embarrassed and confused..I was scared to go to my GP..for help...honestly it’s the best thing I done for myself..it’s just to hard to manage all the deep embedded feelings that have clung so long to us....

I like your new job...I love trees so much..I am lucky I have a very old massive gum tree opposite my home..that houses many birds and creatures... the only place that I feel at peace with myself is sitting on my veranda. watching and listening to the birds...I deep down hope you stay with your new job...The people watching you are probably in awe of what your doing....

Kind thoughts dear lovely Paul..

Sitting with you..when you feel up to talking..

Grandy..