Hey team,
3 months ago I suffered a "stroke" whilst flying back to Aus, it was 14 hours before I could get to a hospital and by the time I was seen/had scans there was no evidence to suggest I'd had a stroke, despite having the vast majority of the symptoms.
My doctors and specialists told me that they had no idea what had happened, what caused it, and if it would happen again or not. Which is pretty much the worst thing they could've told me as my mind went straight into overdrive and has been pretty much ever since.
A stroke in a non -drinker/smoker/history of strokes 20y.o. guy is pretty uncommon, and although everyone has reassured me that its unlikely to happen again, my anxiety has been through the roof ever since. My irrational "I'm-smarter-than-all-the-doctors" always has the voice in the back of my head saying "what if they missed something?". Hyper-sensititzed every time I twitch, get a slight headache, sore neck or any kind of sensation, I have to really struggle to keep a full blown panic attack at bay. I still get dizzy sometimes, get headaches and very sweaty - to which my doctors all put it down to anxiety, but again the voice in my head keeps saying "what if it isn't axiety, and these are real symptoms?"
I'm trying to find other people who've had a similar experience to talk to, to find out how they dealt with the uncertainty and what made them feel better. I find it hard to relax as my mind races away down the "what if" pathway whenever I get too much time on my own, yet being around people and having a panic attack also induces my anxiety.
As bleak as it may sound, I don't think I'm depressed, I've always been a confident person who does everything at 100% - solo travelling, my work, my lifestyle, but that old life seems a long way off at the moment, all I want is to get back to where I was before this all went down.
Thanks for the vent, I hope there's other people out there who can relate.
❤️
