Dear Senior-DD~
I don't think you are a ding-dong so did not greet you as one. You have certainly done the right tihng in coming here as there are many who have been ultra anxious starting a new job and been almost paralyzed as a result
When I read your post I see you are more than competent, having filled similar positions in the past and all things being equal know what to do.
You do say the portfolio changes, though given you past experience I would think you are a able to master that. The things you say that I really take notice of are thinking you are not up to it, you will be thought a fraud, your mind is too preoccupied to grasp instructions and you are even frightened to enter your work room
This reminds me very much of myself when my anxiety condition was at its worst. I could not think, carry out the simplest tasks - even when driving I'd end up at the wrong place out of habit as my mind was occupied. I was frightened of walking down the driveway to my mailbox or answering the telephone.
It was all job related and my reactions kept on getting worse.
I"m not a doctor so I can't say anything about what has happened to you except draw the similarity with myself. What I can say is I could not make myself better and only started to improve after I received medical care. As a result I'd strongly suggest - if you have not done so already - to explain all you have written to your GP and see where you go from there.
The sound of a human voice can be a steadying and comforting thing, if you would like our councilors are always ready 24/7 for you to contact.
What seemed a situation that was inexplicable and wihtout hope has now improved until I'm not the same person and have confidence in myself and no longer fear.
In you own case can you think of any reason why this job is making you react differently?
I'd also like to ask if you have any support, a family member or friend you can lean on at the moment and talk frankly with? All they have to do is care, not provide a way of fixing everything.
If you felt you would like to I would like it if you come back and said how you are going.
Croix
