Today I thought I would organise my tax.
What a challenge that is for me!
Flashbacks to legality involved in my last divorce hit me hard. Coming across AVOs and solicitor letters amongst the paperwork, made my chest tighten and hands shake.
The overwhelming freeze where I couldn’t move or think, I went outside to breathe then lit a cigarette. Looked across the fence at my neighbour hanging out the washing, broke feelings of shame, because they witnessed the police here at my home. My mind racing they know what’s gone on here.
I lowered my head and walked up the stairs, so wouldn’t be seen.
I looked at the dining table covered in paperwork and ran to my bedroom. Laid down and took some medication to reduce the symptoms as I know it will pass. Looked at my phone and thought there is no one I can talk to to explain how I feel.
To others it is the past, to me it is reliving and resurfacing trauma.
I want to be able to tackle these normal things in life which need to be completed. But don’t know how.
Any ideas?
