I'm really struggling at the moment. I feel like I can't do anything to fix the 'real' problems in my life, and that any tasks I can manage to complete need doing again almost immediately.
Without going into too much detail, three of the four family members I live with have long term health issues (and the other works full time and is rarely home). One of these people is experiencing particularly bad symptoms recently.
This puts a lot of strain on everyone and means that we all have a bit of a short fuse at the moment due to stress and frustration. All of us have issues with anxiety too, which only makes things worse.
My 12yr old dog is also have digestive issues which we are still trying to find the cause of, so that it can be treated more effectively. The vet thinks it is stress induced and I agree; but he is storm-phobic and we have had a lot of humid weather and storms lately so it's kind of out of my control. He's ok, still happy and active etc but it's another thing that has been weighing on my mind.
I also need to find another job because I left my previous one as it was too high pressure (and was giving me RSI). However none of the jobs I can find are suitable and most have ridiculous requirements for availablity (6 or 7 days a week is too much).
I just feel like all the things which are causing my anxiety are the ones which can't be fixed... And when I try to ask what I should do about that the answer is basically accept it and move on.
How am I supposed to accept the fact that I have no control over my own life?
I realise this is a bit of an exaggeration, but at the moment it really feels like there's some external force which is actively trying to prevent me from accomplishing anything and I am SO SICK OF IT.
I don't want to accept the fact that I can't help my family members (including my dog) feel better, and I don't want to admit that no matter how much effort I put in it could make no difference at all.
I know I have to try my best anyway and just do what I can, but I'm so tired of trying and trying and never seeing any payoff to acknowledge my efforts.
I try to be there for everyone and make them feel a little better, but at the end of the day nothing changes.
Why isn't life fair? Why can't everyone be rewarded for their hard work and kindness? What harm would it do if that were the case?
Sorry for the rant. If anyone has some advice I would really appreciate it.
I guess I'm just over feeling like external factors (illness, the weather, the availability of decent jobs, a lack of money etc) have more control over my life than I do.
