Overwhelmed and going in circles

[Shelbyshine]

Over the years I am always the person who is there for others, which is fine and part of who I am.

It just now I don't know where to turn. I went to see a counselor for a couple of sessions. Which helped but I dont feel that I have moved forward.

I had a rough time at work with a bad mngr and lots of other issues. which I dealt with well. On top of that a couple of friends and family passed then I had a major OP. Incremental stress I believe.

Now, I have lost so much confidence in myself, my abilities, I don't want to go to work and keep having days off. I also carry on drinking when I have a couple, which I never used to before. Not every day and I avoid it allot. My sleep is bad and my head wont stop ticking. Concentration levels are low and I am avoiding situations and people with conflict and hardly speak up in meetings. I'm slowly becoming a shadow of my old me and I dont like it. My work has been affected as well as my motivation and I am considering telling my mngr bit don't know how or if I should.

It's so different when its yourself you are giving advice to and not others.

I'm scared that I am going mad 😞 and will lose my job and that people think I am not very good at my job.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Shelbyshine,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for reaching out. It's not an easy thing to do when your the one always being there for others.

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your loved ones, and your bad manger. I too had a bad manager a couple of years ago, and my marriage was in melt-down at the time as well. Then I was in a high-speed car crash (not our fault though. A car turned in front of us on the highway) ..... so yeah, cumulative stress, I get that.

And as you probably notice by my name that I too once had a drinking problem. I have now been sober for 22 years, and can tell you it's the best decision I ever made. Alcohol is fine for those who can handle it, but I am NOT one of those people. When I drink, the booze handles me. Alcohol is a depressant, and will usually only add to problems, rather than take them away. Perhaps you could consider getting some help for the drinking, if you are having trouble controlling how much you are drinking?

Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not, but I do know that there is help available. I guess it's just a matter of finding the right fit for you. Take care. I'll keep an eye out for your reply, if you want to reply that is.

[Shelbyshine]

Thankyou so much for your post and honesty.

I do feel like the alchol is in control of me and not the other way round. I keep looking at sites about it. Tonight I signed up here to stop me grabbing a glass.....then bottle, then two.

Well done on 22 years, that's amazing.

[Soberlicious96]

Well, I will say this then; If you want to drink, then that's your business. But if you want to stop then maybe AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) can help. You have a few options with that;

1) You can call 1300 AA AA AA (1300 22 22 22) anytime to have a chat with someone about it and, or

2) You can visit www.aa.org.au to have a browse around there, and, or

3) If you go to www.aameetings.org.au you can search for a meeting near you, and go along to see what it's all about.

You don't need to book in to go to meetings, or to call anyone before hand. You can just turn up to pretty much any meeting anytime.

What's the secret to sobriety? Don't pick up the first drink, and go to regular frequent meetings.

Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, powerful and extremely patient disease. It's not a moral weakness or something that happens to 'only certain' people ....... it can and does happen to anyone. It's a disease that does not discriminate. I, for example, do not come from a home where alcohol was abused. There was no violence in my family, I had a good education, and great parents ....... I just cannot drink with any success. My life becomes unmanageable.

Anyway, no one can decide exactly what is right for you, except for you. Feel free to check out the AA website and/or meetings, or not. But at least know that there is help and support there, should you decide to take that path. There's no one to judge you. Just a bunch of people who have a common problem, and have found a common solution. Best of luck.

Mel. xo