Overthinking/intrusive thoughts doing my head in

[Gambit87]

Hi friends,

This has been a long time coming, but I’m taking control and taking the first steps to sort myself out.

For the past year and a bit I’ve been overthinking a lot and having intrusive thoughts. My overthinking is usually over things like ‘did I turn this/that off’ or ‘is that shut’ or ‘did I say that right/will that person think this’ etc and I obsess and get anxious over it. I try to distract myself by thinking ‘cmon now everything is fine ya muppet’ and try and focus over something else, which often works.

My intrusive thoughts are often of violence and sexual violence towards women. I do not know why I think these things? I am not a violent person and I absolutely detest any kind of violence/sexual violence towards women. To say I’m disgusted with myself is a huge understatement. I hate myself for the thoughts I have and I obsess over if I’m a bad person.

last night,l (after watching red dragon with my partner on Sunday night) thoughts of me being the psychopath and she being the victim flooded my mind and I couldn’t shake the feeling I was going to hurt her (I would never ever hurt her - I would put myself into hospital before I ever hurt her) and had a panic attack. After I managed to calm down I couldn’t stop thinking how much I loved her.

i try to distract myself/keep myself busy when I start to over think/have intrusive thoughts and it works to an extent. I would like to have more of a handle on it.

im sorry if I’ve offended anyone or anything like that.

I’ve felt that I’ve got no one to talk to about this. I’m glad I’ve found this forum and able to get this off my chest.

Seeking help is the next step.

Thanks everyone.

[jess334]

Hi Gambit,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for posting about this. I know how hard it was for you. I tried to write a similar post months ago and couldn't bring myself to do it. You are not alone with these thoughts.

I also have intrusive thoughts. They were really bad just after my son was born. I cant even write down what I was thinking because it gives me huge anxiety.

I was terrified to tell anyone about these thoughts. I was scared they would think I would act on them.

Both my psychologist and my doctor said that intrusive thoughts, even violent ones, are completely normal. In fact the reason our brains keep returning to those scenarios is because they disgust us so much. We try so hard to get rid of and ignore these thoughts, we give them so much attention, that our brain keeps going back to it.

In truth, these thoughts are irrelevant and unimportant. It's just really hard to treat them like that.

I have been working on mindfulness exercises, trying to change how I view these thoughts. I am not always successful, but it is getting a little easier. I really like the Smiling Mind app, I find the exercises quick & easy to fit in.

I hope you find some relief soon.

Jess

[Gambit87]

Hi Jess,

Thank you so much for your reply!

I almost wasn’t going to post because how disgusted I am with myself but I felt if I’m going to air it, I’m going to air all of it.

I’m glad things are getting are getting a little easier for you. I’m finding it extremely difficult to label these thoughts as irrelevant but early days.

I’ve also got the smiling mind app! It seems to be pretty good so far.

thanks again.

[xhomeostasisx]

I believe it’s a reflection of your subconscious; your minds way of processing. I always get intrusive thoughts too. Trying different distractions/ activities or therapy would be the answer. Wish you the best ☺️

[Rose_Bud]

Hi all,

I had my first lot of intrusive thoughts 8 weeks ago, they came from out of nowhere and I must admit I haven’t been handling it very well at all. I just wanted to reach out and say it’s comforting to know we aren’t alone. As hard as it is to believe we definitely are not our thoughts far from it and we need to remember that in those moments.

[jess334]

Hi Rosebud,

Welcome to the forums.

I really like what you said - "we are not our thoughts". That is a really good way to remember to separate our thoughts from our self.

Thanks!

Jess

[Gambit87]

So true rose bud! We are not our thoughts.

You are not alone!

ive been using the smiling mind app for meditation and it’s only been a few weeks but I feel impovement.

I’ll go a few days without an intrusive thought then out of no where My mind will wonder a little and I’ll loose focus and I’ll have an intrusive thought and I’ll end up over thinking everything.

[geoff]

Hi Gambit, I'm sorry that you do have these thoughts as they can be obsessions well as resulting in compulsions which are the things you do to help you cope with the unwanted thoughts.

These are related to having anxiety and normally happen when someone has OCD and wonder whether you have been diagnosed with this illness?

You have to remember that you are still the same person, only that you have these disturbing thoughts.

You don't invite these thoughts they just happen when you are triggered by something and I forgot to say that I've OCD and these thoughts for a long time.

I'm sorry I missed your thread as I was going to reply to you much earlier.

Geoff.

[Gambit87]

Hi Geoff

thanks for your reply. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD although I aim to go and talk to someone in the new year. Everything I’ve read on OCD seems to point in that direction.

Ive been practicing some of the tips I’ve been reading and with the smiling mind meditation app I am noticing change.

Thanks again!

[jess_b]

Sorry to jump in a little late but I really resonate with this post and it’s been incredibly helpful to read others experiences!
How is everyone going at the moment?
about 8 weeks ago I started getting intrusive thoughts and they rattled me and I was sure I was going crazy because I’d never new this was a thing? I felt awful and scared not sure why this happened! It would make me incredibly anxious thinking what if I was to act on this? But I’m not violent or aggressive or anything and it scared me so much! This forum has helped me connect with others and realise it is quite normal that this happens and I have sought help with a GP and psychologist so moving in the right direction! For anyone else struggling at the moment the thoughts definitely subside when they come mine are not so rattling because I know I am not my thoughts and I would never ever do any of them!

a question I would like to ask does anyone else get a loop in their head of just a few words that are quite disturbing but directed to oneself and they just don’t go away constantly battling them? I think because they are so distressing my head gets stuck obsessing over them?
If anyone else has struggled with this any words of comfort or ways I can move on from the obsession in my head!!

Thanks!