Overthinking, feeling misunderstood and worried about where this is heading.

[Sea_Turtle]

The last few days haven’t been good, I’ve been starting to get the same sort of feelings that I used to get when I was really unwell.
I haven’t seemed to be able to have gotten anything done and I feel so guilty. I always feel guilty. For context I have OCD, an ED and have had depression.
I have also been noticing more and more of late that I find some things hard that others don’t seem to like remembering passwords, or chores I told myself I would do, or something someone told me yesterday. Currently I can’t actually remember if one of my sisters birthday is the 11th or the 12th. I should know that my family means everything to me . The truth is I’ve always found those things hard. But have blamed it on the other problems.
All of this with my other struggles have made me worry that I’m going backwards, That there might be more things wrong with me and that I just don’t know how to figure myself out.

I saw my doctor today, I probably overthought it and all but I started crying when I was in with her. I didn’t know how to explain so I tried to tell her that have been feeling low today and I just can’t. She said that this is a bad day, everyone has bad days, we don’t always walk around feeling great. That this is normal. And of course the classic this is a safe place.
I tried to explain and said that of late I just can’t get it together. She said I am getting it together.

I think I had some sort of anxiety attack afterwards. I don’t know how you know if you have actually had one and I wouldn’t want to say so for those who actually have them but maybe it’s a breakdown I don’t know they have happened before I know that. trying to drive home I pulled over and started crying hysterically, gasping for air, felt like I was choking, I started to shake my breath sounded horrible I tried but I couldn’t slow it down if any5hing it made it faster.

I don’t want this to be normal, I don’t want the way I think and feel right now to be normal. I’m scared I’m falling of the tracks. I have an appointment that I organised with a psychologist, but it’s still awhile away, and I’m worried she won’t understand me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sea Turtle,

We are sorry to hear you have been feeling like this recently. We honour the bravery and strength it takes to push through on this.

As much as the guilt is heavy, it is wonderful to that you hold connection to family so highly. It is a worthy anchor, even when sometimes a bit of a heartache itself. The anxiety attacks are uniquely horrible - have you found anything effective before? Do you have a little sensory kit? sometimes the perfect sensation (favourite materials, sudden cold, etc.) can crash us out of an attack quicker - please consider investigating your perfect support sensations! Having tools you can use whenever you need them to pull yourself back into a safe headspace can be a major plus.

Let us recommend to you ecouch or moodgym And of course, we would love for you to reach out whenever you need - call us on 1300 22 4636 or use the chat now link at the top of this page.

We hope to hear from you soon, Sea Turtle!

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Petal22]

Hi Sea Turtle,

Im really sorry you have had some rough days I understand how incredibly hard they are.

I applaud you for seeing your gp but I encourage you to make another appointment with your gp ASAP and go back to let your gp know that you are still struggling at the moment and need help.

I had to keep going back to my gp quite a few times and then my gp could finally see that I wasn’t coping and I needed help rather quickly.

Please try to write down everything that is bothering you and show your gp the list. You could even show your gp what you have written here and our responses.

Please know from my experience what you are currently feeling isn’t the normal and you can get so much better from the way you are feeling…. Really….

Yes everyone has bad days but one bad day doesn’t turn into conservative days.

I understand you are finding some things hard, I did aswell the reason for this was because I had so much going on inside my mind that I couldn’t concentrate on day to day things.

Im sorry you may have experienced a panic attack I had them aswell and they are horrible.

When you feel yourself starting to go very fast from the inside re direct your attention onto something in the present moment.

Are you going to see a clinical psychologist or a psychologist?

I recommend you see a clinical psychologist could could ask your doctor to refer you to one if you want to.

Things will get better for you, you just need the correct help.

Hang in there and please chat to me anytime… I understand..

[Petal22]

Hi Sea Turtle,

Just checking in with you, how are you feeling today?

[Sea_Turtle]

Hey sorry I missed this.

I’ve been with my family for the weekend, it’s helped. Taking each bit a time.

thanks for your kindness.

[Petal22]

That’s ok Sea Turtle 😊 I’m glad that you are spending time with your family, I understand that our families are a great comfort to us.

Yes just take it a day at a time, you will get there.

Hang in there and please reach out to us anytime 😊

[geoff]

Hello Sea_Turtle, if you are suffering from having OCD, I'm really sorry for you, but with this, it can make you unsure of actual dates, that's why you keep questioning yourself on what is the date.

It's no different to when someone with this illness keeps asking themselves is the back door locked, or did I lock it, this is what causes your uncertainty.

Take care.

Geoff.