OCD

[ErinGrace]

Hi.

I have terrible anxiety about my kids getting sick with any sort of gastro. I worry that I will get it. I can't look after them when they're sick. I have to ask a relative to come over or my husband has to stay home. I hide in the bedroom, or have to leave the house. I get physical symptoms - heart palpitations and diarrhoea. Even when they're feeling better, I can't hug or kiss them. I desperately want to clean the whole house, but I'm unable to touch anything. I wash my hands constantly. I want to wash my clothes if they even touch me. I count the days until I reach a time when I think it's unlikely I (or any of the kids who are still well) will get sick anymore. I worry when the kids go to school that they'll come home sick. I hate it when they go to play centres or to parties because I'm scared they'll get sick. I think about it every single day. I go to sleep worrying that they'll be sick in the night (even when they're perfectly well) and wake up thinking about it. It's utterly debilitating and I don't know how to stop it. I don't enjoy anything because I'm so worried. It feels like no one can possibly understand how debilitating it is. I can't imagine that it can ever get better. I'm so tired. I can't concentrate on anything.

Thanks for listening.

[ci]

Hi ErinGrace

I had to reply after reading your post. I can deffinatly relate to you i also have ocd and children i am at the point off total exhaustion today is a bad ocd day head racing hard to breath so exhausted wish would go away but like you cant see it ever getting better! This is probably not helping what im trying to say is you are not alone. Have you seen someone about ocd  i been seeing someone it helps a bit

[ErinGrace]

Thanks for your response, Ci.

I'm sorry you're also experiencing this, but knowing someone else is too makes it seem perhaps less lonely.

Yes, I have seen someone about it, but I'm frustrated that it's still a problem, and frustrated that I don't have the energy to do the work that's needed to overcome it.

[Zeal]

Hi Erin Grace,

I'm sorry to hear that OCD has been making life so difficult and upsetting for you.

I can also relate to what you're going through, but in a less context-specific way than Ci. I am 22, and was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 13. It got severe in my teen years, but is now manageable, thanks to SSRI medication (I have a serotonin deficiency), great support from family and friends, and seeing professionals in the past.

I have had a phobia of vomit since I was a child, and I would also get intensely anxious when someone in my household was sick. I used to worry constantly about getting viruses from others. The worry is still there for me, but it's more in the background now, and rarely interferes with my daily functioning. I still live at home, and luckily vomiting isn't too common in our household. I have been babysitting kids for almost 5 years, and somehow I have never had to deal with a vomiting child! This has helped me realise that vomiting is not common in many children, especially if they are healthy and active, and have a good immune system. I have not been physically sick since I was 14, which is lucky, seeing as I am phobic of myself vomiting too!

It's great that your husband and relatives are able to come and help out when one of your children is unwell. I strongly urge you to see your GP about a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist. With Clinical OCD, seeking treatment is vital. The only reason I am able to control my anxiety now is because of all the help I have received over the years.

I hope you can start getting help soon.

Best wishes,

SM

[geoff]

dear ErinGrace and Ci, OCD is a terrible illness to have and many people unfortunately get, and I am one of one of these people and have had it for 56 years.

There are so many levels in which OCD can restrict our life and from what you have said it's seems to be at the top end, restricting your whole life and making it so hard to be able to cope.

Many discussions have been involved on this site, and if you type OCD in the search bar then many different posts will come up in how people find their way to be get on with their life.

There is medication which I take for my OCD and because it's serious for yourself it would be worthwhile going to see your doctor, and they may suggest for you to see a psychologist who deals with cognitive therapy.

I would also like for you to google this 'serious ocd help', plus click onto 'Resources' at the top of this page and 'order all the printed material' from BB, it's free, where it has a great deal of information on OCD.

It is a battle to be able to control your fears, habits and rituals, and can I say that my habits and rituals were very bad when I was young, but now they have been subdued to a degree, but haven't gone, so what I have learnt to do is to hide them when I am need to do them, so nobody knows that I am doing them.

I would be really interested to hear how you both feel. Geoff. x

[ErinGrace]

Thank you so much, SM and Geoff.

Would you believe that I see both a psychologist and psychiatrist, and I take medication?! It doesn't seem to be helping. Perhaps I need to say more forcefully to the doctors that it's too hard, and I need something else to help me. I just don't feel strong enough to do the work necessary to fix it, or at least make it manageable.

This week, my little boy, my husband and I have all been sick. Logically I know that if I've been sick, I won't get this bug again, but I'm still crazy handwashing and cleaning to stop it. I'm so worried that my little girl will get sick too. I hate the unpredictability of it. I wish if she was going to get sick, it would happen now so she can get better. Ugh! Unfortunately, I'm in a very busy work period and it's hard to concentrate (I work from home).

I will look up those resources, Geoff. Thank you.

[geoff]

dear ErinGrace, I know that by all of you being sick is only going to exasperate your OCD, and I know that it does drive you mad, but I understand the compulsions, there are a couple more sites to google, which you may have done so already, any how they are 'really bad ocd help' and 'severe OCD treatment'.

I realise that these sites would be easy to think of but they may help you, and in your first comment you mentioned that you were afraid of your children getting sick if they went to any party, so now that they are sick must be devastating for you.

You have to remember that any of us suffering from any type of depression/anxiety and go to a psychologist or psychiatrist may not like or approve of their techniques, because they maybe too forceful or you feel as though they don't understand your specific problems, sure they will know what OCD is, but every person needs the special care they deserve, because one person who has a need to clean the house maybe different to another person who cleans their house, because circumstances could be different. Geoff. x

[ci]

Hi  ErinGrace

I wanted to post again and ask if you have tried different psychologist and psychiatrist not sure if it's the right thing to do but I have tried a couple this year haven't found one that seems to help got a phycologist at the moment that is doing something that seems to help a little any tiny improvement is a Gilmour of light. Like you I find that I'm so exhausted it's hard to find the energy to fight. I also work from home and I think that's not helping me I'm not sure about you but I find it hard to be alone (except for my kids) all day trying to focus on work but my ocd is looking around the house and  triggering me I think would be much healthier to be out and around people.

It's great that your family and friends support you and I hope you are doing OK today.  This is a horrible condition wouldn't wish it on  anyone