OCD and searching for purpose

[chap10]

I have recently been diagnosed with OCD. In my case it's a hijacking of my mental attention and it feels like being held prisoner to my mind. I'm trapped in my head all day every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I could go in to detail but that's not really the point of this post. I don't know if anyone will be able to help or will understand but I'll give it a shot. Basically I feel like I have absolutely no purpose, no meaning in my life, and I don't know how to attain purpose or meaning. I've been taking the prescribed medication and I feel like I'm waking up a bit. I suffer from depression as well and the medication is at least helping with that. But I feel like "now what?", I've been lost in my head for so long I don't even know where to start. How do I build a life when my life has been inside my head for so long.

I'm also quitting drinking as I have been drinking too much as a means of self-medicating the OCD and resulting anxiety and depression. I want to drink and let go a bit, but I can't because I have quit and I think it is best for me. But where is the fun? in all seriousness what is the point of going on? I'm not suicidal otherwise I would have posted in that forum. I'm kind of just in a no-mans land, just a barren place devoid of meaning. I just don't know where to go from here...

[chap10]

Hi Geoff thanks for your reply.

I’ve actually been doing pretty well on the Alcohol front. I have only consumed alcohol once in the last 3 months and don’t feel tempted to do it again. I have struggled a bit with drugs of a different kind but am straight now and determined to remain that way.

I’m just really numb and have been for a while. And I’ve been getting really angry, not towards anyone, more just angry at my situation and myself for not being able to surmount it. It’s made harder by my current loneliness, it feels like there’s no love and no compassion and I’m finding it hard to convince myself that I am a good person.

[Jade_94]

Hi there,

I am new to beyond blue and I just read your original post and I relate so much !

I am a mum of two, and I feel trapped also. I feel I have no purpose in life, I feel my house is a prison and I'm so unhappy!

I work part time, night shifts. I used to LOVE going to work, I used to feel like I had a purpose being there, but after a couple of years, it doesn't feel like that anymore. I have next to no friends, my family live 3 hours away and NEVER visit..

I used to turn to drinking probably like 3 nights a week. But my partner hates it and we had a huge fight last time, so I'm off drinking..

I also feel angry all the time.

I dunno, I just wanted to reach out and say your not alone with how you feel, I'm also very lonley .

even with a family of my own ? How sad is that