Nighttime cleaning when the panic gets the best of me

[Mamabear81]

Hey y’all,

I’m wondering if anyone else out there in BB-land does silly things like clean their entire house after evening/night-time panic attacks? Bit of a warning, the rest of this post gets a bit dark…

My physical symptoms with panic attacks are chest pain, palpitations, and adrenaline rushes, so sometimes I really start to doubt the experts advice that these are panic attacks and start to convince myself that I might die… not helpful thoughts when I’m already wired.

So with these unhelpful thoughts blaring in my brain, I start to plan for “after”… making sure the house is tidy, the pets have access to the outdoors, that I’m freshly showered and wearing nice looking pyjamas. Basically making sure that if I do die, it will be less unpleasant for whoever finds me.

Does anyone else get these thoughts?

[Petal22]

Hi Mamabear81,

Wellcome to our forums!

I’m really sorry you are feeling this way.

Im sorry that you plan for after……… this routine must be incredibly exhausting for you and very distressing.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD…….. I’d have a lot of horrible intrusive thoughts and I’d sometimes feel compelled to do certain things so they wouldn’t happen……… it was a very exhausting condition… I’ve now recovered thanks to the help I received from health professionals.

Have you ever been able to open up to a professional about your thoughts and behaviours?

[Guest_7403]

Yes, whenever at lowest points I always clean as I can't stand the thought of someone finding me in an untidy house.

Not sure why...guess it's an insecurity of not wanting to be judged