A tough week

[anxiousqueen]

Isn't it so disheartening when we've made gradual, steady progress overtime only for one particular trigger/event to bring us right back to where we were before/worse than where we started?

To sum it up on Sunday night my family found out we were close contacts to a covid positive person.This news came while i was on my period, which are always a nightmare and I'm anaemic, so i was already feeling off.

The next day someone in my home had an intense phone call which i could clearly hear (let's just leave it at 'family drama' that flares up at times)...

Ever since these 2 events occurred (+ with a couple of other family member's health issues going on.. i fear phone's ringing with bad news) my anxiety has been intense!!

I keep having panic attacks and am constantly anxious in general. I cannot eat/look after myself and I'm honestly just beyond exhausted/feel weak as I'm nearing nearly a full 7 days of being in this 'state'...

I also have my first vaccination for covid booked in for February 1st (moderna) and am freaking out about the potential side effects i may or may not get!!

I'm just a complete bundle of anxiety!!! I don't enjoy anything and can barely function. It's honestly a HUGE task in itself just to get through each day and night this past week!!

I'm not entirely sure what I'm hoping to gain by sharing this but i just felt like i had to explain what's going on for me right now, somehow, somewhere... I guess this is classed as a 'vent?'

I thank you in advance for even just taking your time to read this. I super appreciate it!

~ anxiousqueen

[Mamabear81]

Hey there Anxiousqueen,

I feel where you’re coming from when things seem to be going okay, then BAM - it’s back.

I don’t really know if there is anything I can offer to help, except that since my panic attacks started last year, they have slowly gotten less intense, with more time between them (tonight has been the first proper one in about a month, and still didn’t get as intense as the early ones).

Good meds, an effective therapist, and finding techniques that work for you to help reduce the intensity of panic attacks are my best advice. Resonance breathing has been really helpful for me.

I’m just feeling frustrated and alone tonight - my first and worst attack in a while, and now I’m sitting here crying because I really thought things were getting better and now, just like that, I’m back to feeling terrible.

I guess I need to focus on my breathing and remember that if I made it through Christmas without panic attacks, then there’s a good chance that I won’t have another one for a while.

Best of luck to you anxiousqueen - take some slow breaths and some comfort that you’re not alone in feeling anxious and exhausted.

[james1]

Hey anxiousqueen,

I'm so sorry to hear how dishearted and anxious you are feeling. It sounds exhausting and I hope you'll start to feel a little less anxious once you get the vaccination, hopefully without any complications. I understand there's been a lot going on and I can hear how hard it is just to get through each day. I don't know if there's much advice or anything for me to offer, but I wanted you to know that we are listening and, in my own experience with anxiety, it tends to subside after some of the big triggers also fade. Until then, please feel free to post as much as you'd like, even to 'vent' if you find it helpful.

James

[therising]

Hi anxiousqueen

I'm so glad you came here to vent. Better out than in I say, even if it's just to take the edge off.

I can't help but wonder what's wrong with people sometimes. I can't help but wonder why they can't sense the stress that's going on around us at times. I suppose what some of it comes down to is

• Some folk are generally insensitive
• Some don't have the natural ability to feel their own nervous system (whether they can feel it as relaxed or hyperactive) or feel their own hormonal fluctuations
• Some don't have the ability to listen to themselves, when it comes to how stressful or triggering their words can be
• Some don't see or feel the need to help a sensitive person master their sensitivity, their natural ability to sense what's stressful, angering, depressing etc.

The list goes on.

So, while we can be thinking 'What's wrong with me', sometimes it's more productive to wonder 'What the heck is wrong with the people around me?'. Do you ever wonder about that? Sometimes it may even pay to consider adopting the mantra 'I can feel what you're doing to me'.

A somewhat insensitive person may not feel intolerable levels of stress until someone adds a 16th thing to the list of 15 things they have to get done or manage, within a certain period of time. The 16th challenge breaks them, in a way. A sensitive person may feel things gradually building around the 10th challenge. Having the ability to sense the challenges building produces some advantage. You don't let things build beyond the 10th, on the way to potentially reaching breaking point. Someone who delegates and/or someone with well developed levels of self esteem may say 'No, stop it. I have enough on my plate as it is. I refuse to accept another challenge. You'll need to manage this yourself'. Hard to achieve if we've been raised to be a people pleaser. It's not a bad thing, adopting the attitude for the right occasions where we can say 'I'm going to please myself'.

How would you manage people, if given the chance? Would you say something along the lines of 'Stop making triggering phone calls that ramp up stress levels'? Perhaps 'Can someone please help me manage the lead up to getting my vaccination, instead of simply telling me everything will be fine'. Maybe 'Who's going to help me regain the energy I need to be able to function better?' If no one puts their hand up to help make a constructive difference, you seriously gotta question that.

The people around us can be so triggering at times 🙂

[Banksy92]

Hi anxiousqueen,

So sorry to hear you're juggling so much challenge in one time. This would be highly stressful and tiring on your system, I think it's understandable you're feeling less than yourself. I can relate to the frustration of making big strides of 'progress' only to face a new tough challenge and my body/stress levels react strongly and I'm struggling again.

But if there's one thing that helps, it's reminding ourselves that progress doesnt disappear. It's evidence that if we can get through it once, we can get there again. This too shall pass. What tools or strategies can you use right now to help to calm your nervous system and work through the stress you're experiencing to reduce the symptoms?

Deep breathing exercises and guided meditation are great tools - perhaps you could try building those into your daily routine? just 15-20 minutes a day really can help.

Exercise is also a great tool for burning off stress and helping us regulate our sleep.

But what types of activities soothe you? Everyone is unique.

Thinking of you.

[Sophia16]

Hi anxiousqueen,

I can see that you are feeling exhausted and distressed. It must be so hard to have all these burdens upon you. You are so strong for being here.

Anxiety can be such a nightmare and can really change our lives. A tip that I have been taught, to help control mine is to 'don't let it get to, it's just in your mind'. I know it is easy to say but it has really helped me.

Realising what is triggering you is a great start. Having a few coping mechanisms will help ease it. What do you usually do to deal with your anxiety?

Stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.