Newbie - I'm not coping starting this new job.

[July26]

Hi all, anxiety got the best of me today and rang in sick to a job i only started 2 days ago. It's an office job. I worked in another job for 28 years with no challenge so resigned and went to a completely different job as a Disability Support Worker. I found that this wasn't for me, as I'm an introvert and wasn't the best at peopling. So sent out my resume to local businesses seeing if they had any office jobs available and got one within 2 weeks.

I panicked this morning while having a shower and started crying and hyperventilating and felt dizzy. I rang work and said my daughter was sick. I like the job it isn't stressful but I have a lot to learn, and I don't want to stuff up or not understand anything. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to be a great employee. It's a small business, where my previous job was in an office of 50 people.

I've had to start taking antidepressants again, when I started work as a Disability Support Worker cause I found it a little stressful and I cut back a little but have gone to full amount again yesterday as I'm not coping starting this new job. Now I have the guilts for not going to work after only 2 days and them thinking badly of me. I spoke to a counsellor this morning who said that I'm putting to high expectations on myself and that it will take about 3 months to learn the new job. I need to be happy with where I am at and that I will make mistakes and will be nervous for a little while. I haven't had to learn a new job for a very long time, so I guess this is all new to me. At my old job I knew a lot and had people come to me for advice, I guess I'm feeling insecure now... I'm hoping I can talk myself into feeling better tomorrow and giving it another go.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey there

Congrats on getting a job so quickly! I think that in itself speaks volumes.

Anxiety about new beginnings can often make things harder than they need to be. I really think you got some sound advice from the counsellor you spoke with, and I wonder whether you can try and focus on that, instead of worrying about what the employer will think of you having called in sick. That's already happened, and there's no changing it, and you can only speculate about what they think anyway. Try focus also on the fact that you were competent in your old role, and that it no doubt took time to build up to that point. It was just so long ago, you've probably forgotten the beginning point. Go gentle on yourself today, and have another crack tomorrow. You've got this!

Katy

[Guest_1643]

Hi.... that sounds very hard and anxiety provoking. Thank you so much for sharing here,I'm happy to read you had a counsellor to talk to, is it a constant one? Change is the worst... i really feel for you. Hope you don't feel bad about taking the day off and can find some way to manage there.... whatever that looks like. Sending strength and hope you are okay!

[HazelP]

Hey Newbie,

I wanted to thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience here. Despite having been at my job for over 8 years now I am feeling very overwhelmed by many changes that are occurring at the moment. I have started catastrophising about what a 'disaster' it's all going to be!

Reading your post reminded me that I am not alone - and that I am placing too much pressure on myself to integrate these changes 'perfectly'. I'm also comparing myself with others who appear not to be so rattled by change.
My experience with starting new things is that it can be very challenging for me (more so than for others - the 'normals') but that if I am able to be very gentle and self compassionate with myself, things settle down much more quickly than if I beat myself up.

In terms of you taking the day off and feeling bad about it, I find it useful to remember that most other people have something going on in their lives too. This means that while they may think about my behaviour for a brief time, that if I don't make a big fuss about it, they'll usually forget about it pretty quickly.
I sincerely hope that you're able to be kind to yourself while you're settling in to this new job.

Sending a big hug your way.

[CoraC]

I always have huge panic about starting a new job. You don't know everything, you're rtying to learn who is who and how things work. It takes time. I always wish I could magically download the knowledge everyone else has. I think it definitely takes a good three to six months of being in a role before you reach a,decent level of competency.

These are the things I like to do when starting a new job. Some of them may work for you.

- take notes, in a way that makes sense to you. Write things down so you can refer back to them

- identify who are the go to people for the areas of your job that you will need to work with closely. Build good working relationships with them

- keep a copy of the position description to refer to. Look at it in a week,a month,six weeks etc and you'll be able to tick off things you're comfortable with and identify things you might need more help, guidance or information for

- I remind myself that no one starts from a point of knowing everything in a new job. That's part of why we change jobs, to keep ourselves motivated and to learn new things. Over time our knowledge builds and one day You are the person the new starters look at as the competent person in the job who they want to learn from.

- new, fresh eyes can be helpful to identify different ways of doing things rather than, well that's just how it's always been done

good luck.

[July26]

Well I didn't sleep at all last night, so I decided to write an email to my bosses explaining what is going on, and i had one of them reply with this:-

"OK thanks for letting us know of the situation. It is always little overwhelming when you start a new job – so many new things to learn. We will endeavour to work with you so that we don’t bombard you with too many new things simultaneously in an attempt to reduce your anxiety levels."

So now I'm feeling a little better and definitely going in tomorrow, i have to push through this and it's only one day then I have the weekend to feel better and be ready for Monday!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey, that's really proactive of you, and what a great response! Well done to them for being accommodating of your mental health.

All the best with it. As you say, just one day to contend with now 🙂 Good on you 🙂